Displacement, not that other mature thing.

First dream I would categorize as nightmare rather than a thriller I've had in fifteen or eighteen years.

In the dream I bawled and cried and then was strong because I couldn't do it in real life.

Feeling slightly better, but thinking about the dream makes me want to cry.

What do you do when it's clutching to your shoulders and chest and you  don't want to admit it but you believe what it says to be true despite what you know being more true.

Sometimes i feel like a good cry will make me feel better

To get rid of that constriction in my chest and the polluting thoughts. Maybe, I keep thinking, maybe a good cry will disperse the impending depression, that it will give me a bit more ground so I don't feel like I'm about to totter into a pit at every which shuffle.

Or maybe I'm already down part way, waiting for rescue, looking into and feeling the unending pit in every thought. Maybe it'll be easier on the world if this trap just goes away, my only contribution to serve the purpose.