My cat and I are similar.

We both attach so intensely, to so few.

We both start missing those we love and rely on
in fear and anticipation of parting.

It doesn't matter that it shouldn't be possible.

All I feel is my extra bits of stomach and the distance we will soon have between us.

They are dominating my motivation and necessity to accomplish.

After 23 million seconds

In truth, often I don't think I know how to have a healthy, close relationship with others properly. Don't even believe I can do it even when I think about it. There's always something excessive or lacking about them.

Makes me grateful and undeserving of the happiness I have received.

I am torn by the decision between distressing over the drastically quick and uncharacteristic way I've attached to That Guy and discarding the deep emotions that belatedly manifested in my life for a more agreeable personality.

The Guy thinks it's not much of a problem but I should do something about it.

I love finding things.

Whether it's a couple of bucks in my old coat pocket or a new trail I always just pass by, the sense of excitement that comes with these little discoveries never left with the years. 

AND NOW.

I have found my very old livejournal, hotmail, and AIM accounts that I've forgotten passwords to. Oh man, this is exciting, like some leisurely detective work. By the way, I had to re-create my hotmail account in order to retrieve my livejournal password. My AIM email, however, remains to be discovered. 

This is pin a lie.

Tired. So tired. And I'm not even done yet.

All I have to show for only sleeping 2.5 hours the day before recieving my undeserved alumni pin is a self-decorated tassel, because I couldn't be bothered to order the shiny symbol of ΨΧ.

I probably should see what can be moved back so junk doesn't clutter the world next six months.

Ha! Dead circuits in the house.

So I came out of the shower to find a portion of the house out of electricity: two of three sets of outlets in my room, hallway light and outlet, all of the living room plugs (save two), and one kitchen wall outlet (the one with the router)--essentially, everything along and near the central divide between the housing quarters and the living quarters. Or between the bathroom and bedrooms and living room and kitchen. I suspect it's whatever that causes the area above the ceiling valve-thing above the foot of my bed to make echoing noises whenever it rains. (The valve noises is how I can tell it's raining outside!).

A blown fuse wasn't the problem; it would have killed off all of the outlets in both bedrooms (6 total) plus the hallway plugs, anyway.

So I spent some time rewiring my room: one outlet strip is moved to the outlet next to my table, from which the stereo, laptop, external hard drive, heater, and router (brought in from the kitchen) draws power. The iPod now draws power from my laptop through an USB extension cable and hooked up to the stereo. It hangs in mid-air behind my chair because the alternative is to drape the almost long enough cable down the other side of me, thereby greatly increasing my risk of tripping and somehow knocking into the heater, inevitably burning some gratings onto some body part.

By the way, did I mention that I've been sick and sleep deprived for the past week and is currently forced to keep awake on chocolate-coated espresso beans? After demolishing about a third in about 10 days, they don't even seem strong enough now—I have to eat off the chocolate first, then crunch on the naked bean for the bam. And I'm pretty sure the sugar in the chocolate is making me more sick. A said I sound even more sick than when I first announced that I have finally succumbed to whatever that has been going around. Due to running around campus delivering (late) Valentine's roses without an umbrella in the the rain. (I just tried to spell umbrella with an e (in place of u), then again with a p (in place of the b), and some other odd variations. Ha, I'm getting more and more out of it.)

These three weeks seemed to have largely restore my ability to stay semi-functional with little to no sleep, something I haven't done much since junior year of high school. Actually, even then, it wasn't done with this degree of frequency. Or in sickness.

Wow I suck this quarter. Terrible on tests, not writing papers, no ambition, a fucking wreck,forgetting to do online homework, skipping classes, not working on important projects, sleeping about 3 hours on average with a pretty bad flu, biting off more than I could chew, accidentally wiping about 8GB of files from my computer then prioritising its recovery efforts before my lab report that was due the next day...Oh, and spending all this time blogging. About the only thing that got done was the double major petition.

I am such a fucking genius.