Hello, Excuse For Distraction

Not that nothing went on in the past year, only that I got lazy and stopped talking about my feelings because there are more people around me now. Also, hello, some form of lack of motivation happened last (school) year. But the brain still fucking refusing to write for school. It's getting worse by the quarter. Perhaps it's time to pick this habitual writing thing up again so five pages won't sound as daunting.

The F applies in multiple meanings and locations.

Found some really embarrassing things I wrote back in 2004-2005 on stray pieces of binder paper, decided to check the blog for old time's sake, and...I think writing a long, long story about myself might be interesting. Just to summarise things from the viewpoint of one nearing her tu-tu's.

On second thought, maybe that's a little too much.

Also will go back to some old entries and comment—some deserve love, retrospectively.

12:17 - After two hours of sleep, I'm back on track in not writing the assignment. After ten years, I'm finally agreeing with Father and admitting that I have problems in articulating my information and ideas for public consumption.

News: H.M. Dies at 82

■ H. M., an Unforgettable Amnesiac, Dies at 82

By BENEDICT CAREY
Published: December 5, 2008
Henry Gustav Molaison, or H.M., was recognized as the most important patient in the history of brain science.

My Human Memories professor had H.M.'s obituary, written by Dr. Corken(?), but it seems that only the NYTimes and AP versions are available.

Scientific Illustration

The BIS1b TA, Fran, said something about UCSC having a masters program on scientific illustration, how she has some contacts for people who are interested in trying, and something about how they are short on people in this field. Then she sent us all links to that program. I knew it's out of my league (I FAIL in detail work), but hey, why not see what it's about?

And the first thought upon seeing the website is: "holy crap, I can't do that. Ever."

Admission Requirements
Admission to the program is limited to 15 students and is by application only. The application deadline for Fall 2008 is March 15. Applicants must have at least a bachelor's degree, preferably in a science, and must be able to demonstrate a strong background in representational drawing, as well as a developed sense of aesthetics. Other degrees are eligible if the portfolio exhibits keen observational skills and if the applicant can demonstrate a strong interest in and understanding of science.

LoL, seriously, who am I kidding. No way I can reach an acceptable level in two years, haha. And I haven't even taken initiatives in trying to get into a research lab. ¬_¬;;;;

Damn that sudden urge to do life drawings. Now. Immediately. (who cares about physics, anyhow?)

(BTW, what I'm listening to is the coolest remix of FFVII's Cosmos Canyon. Voices from the Lifestream is a really well done Compilation of Final Fantasy VII fan remix album)

Summer, the thrid week

It has been too long since I wrote, especially since life these days have been far from dull. So let's review what I've been doing for the past three weeks in reverse chronological order, shall we?

Tomorrow will mark the fourth day, and the completion of a week's worth of real work for PcBY. During these three (half) days I have already developed a healthy dislike fo stacks of rolled up paper and their abominably sharp edges :D

Several things factor into these...unfortunate, minor, seriously annoying injuries: 1) I have dry hands (cannot hydrate herself enough); 2) My layer of dead skin cells is too thin (does not work with her hands enough); 3) I am careless (clumsiness have no excuses); 4) I roll and unroll large rolls of paper constantly (teehee, almost rewrote this bit), and; 5) Clay makes my hands dry.

Other than paper cuts, work is pretty dull. It mainly consists of opening long, dusty, oblong boxes containing roll(s) of drawings of dead (old) projects, sorting through them, deciding which ones are already archived in files, scan in the ones that aren't (i.e. hand drawings, wetstamped drawings, etc.), and picking up after myself (collapse boxes, roll papers back up to throw them away, etc.). Let's just say that this job is quite a lot more physical than I thought. Jeff, on the other hand, seems to be doing much more technical things, even if it is just constructing new shelves, design, shop, build, and all (jealous jealous).

In the afternoons I attend a ceramics class in CSM, which lasts four hours. They give us 30 minutes of break, taken whenever, so I tend to get there late (stupid public transportation). Throwing is the most awesome yet; it is messy, difficult, and make my muscles ached the first couple of times, but while it is still difficult, I have come to enjoy the steady, slow movements and firm yet gentle ways of handling clay on a potter's wheel. I am still horrible at pulling the clay up (and I blame the shape of my fingers for that), but bowls are okay. Cups should be within my abilities too..perhaps I will try that next...then a plate (saucer?)...I wonder if I can get good enough to throw a teapot in a week and a half. The handle for the one at home is broken.

Oh, I have made figurines too; I just need to make up my mind on how to paint the underglaze =\ The other day we made face molds—we made a mold of our faces using this ...gel thing (it's the stuff they use at the orthodontists' to take the mold of your teeth, I think), then pour plaster in the mold. Paint a layer of latex on top of the plaster positive and make a mother mold negative, then use the latex and mother mold to make clay masks. I'm still fixing the plaster positive...and it really looks creepy, having my face all white and closed-eyed like that.

I hope I have time to finish all my required projects plus a couple more—this is a really rare chance for me. Perhaps I will think about taking ceramics again, whether in CSM or in Davis.

Relying on public transportations has given me a lot of time to read. I have finished Dune (finally) and is half way through Dune Messiah. Today Rory (ceramics instructor; makes pretty interesting, but rather morbid, sculptures) recommended a couple more too..Pinball and other works by that same author. I wonder when I will get to read Deathly Hallows? reserved a copy, but I'm kinda far down in the waiting list. Perhaps I will ask the parents to buy me a copy; mother seemed a little interested when we passed by borders yesterday. At the very least, she is not adverse to that concept.

As all my Chinese identifications have expired, father and I went to get another visa for me...and of course, a trip to Japan Town goes without being said. Lunch was pretty bad (shouldn't've gone to eat sushi), and I spent money on Loveless 7, a Betsu Hana to Yume and a Zerosum. And I have found a new shoujo to watch out over (it's been long!)—Otomen (乙男). Like, as in　乙女＋男, lmao. It's completely outrageous and stereotypical (or the opposite of?), but the SPARKLES. The SPARKLES are hilarious (like Seiji in Tonari Monogatari/Parakisu! XD)

Oh, and I also went to re-take my permit test (the other one expired) and I didn't get perfect score. Cannot be helped, since father told me to go just the night before and I had no time to study `0`;;; (excuses.)

...I have chickened out of driving practices after the third time, when I freaked out and went a little hysterical. Uhh...I was a little tired a the time >___<;;;;;

Surely there's more than this, but I'm slowly exhausting the last of my energies...tomorrow's a full day of work.

Next time: Doctor Who, Planet Earth, Paradise Kiss, Sailor Moon, Shrek the Third, and stuff.

What is Greed?

Greed is wishing for .1% more for an A+ not six hours after walking out of a test hoping for an A, although it makes no difference in terms of GPA.

Ningen wa...OMOSHIROI.

Death Week ♥

It's barely almost 1 am. Eyes are dry, droopy and, according to Mother, red.

Tomorrow I go to Japan Town for the Sakura Matsuri...and to buy stuff in Kinokuniya. Oh, gotta go get money before leaving tomorrow. Parents will not be going, so aunt will take me there.

Could not contact Larry this afternoon, nor now. Well. Isn't this just dandy, right after missing my train because Amtrak ticket sellers was slow and made me miss my train.

Watching 1x08 Doctor Who: Father's Day. Made me dislike Rose more and made me ♥ his dad. Hmm...no blood even for a fatal injury.

This week:
S: Study Bio
M: Study Bio
T: Bio exam 1 & Study Calc
W: Calc exam 1 & Do Chem Lab
T: Chem Lab & Study Chem
F: Woke up at 7:30 for breakfast in DC, studied more between that and classes, Chem exam 1, failed, came back and sort of packed and cleaned, googled Mokona=Modoki with Amy (got me interested in Tsubasa/xxxHolic again), walked to Amtrak station, got there 10min early, was in line for 15 because of some stupid women (though I already reserved my ticket; the reservation machine was broken), waited more while said women fiddled with how to print the ticket for 5min, waited for the next train for 50min, and didn't get to Milbrae Station until 8:50. Yeah, great, just a joyful week. Oh, and guess what, I'm watching creepy Doctor Who 1x09, while I should be showering and sleeping and waking at 9am so I get out the door by 10.

Yay for stress and self-loathing and Rose is really starting to irritate me. Little kids going 'mommy' is creepy. And Christopher Eccleston is bleh...like he's always grimacing. Gah, the 'mommy' kid is creepy.

Yes, I'm getting ranty. Should go sleep. Or shower, then sleep. Er, not before I finish this episode anyway.

Posting this on a class discussion board is probably a bad idea, but nonetheless done.

---Christina said on 04/12/2007 20:55:04:---

i know this may sound awkward.. but is having acne or pimples is becuase that there is traffics and cause proteins can't go through the cell/plasma membrane?



---PcBY said on 04/12/2007 22:03:59:---

I thought it was because the blocked pores are infected. From what I've read, however, it seems that most kinds of acne is caused by some kind of narrowing of pore opening, resulting in blocked pores, preventing things that need to be excreted from being eliminated, which may or may not result in inflammation.

(This next paragraph got a little out of hand, the more I type.)
If proteins cannot go through the membrane, wouldn't lysosomes get rid of that excess stuff? If it doesn't, then the cell would burst from so much un-shipped goods (like viruses bursting out of a cell—just lovely). And then? Maybe the dead cells provide a great place for bacterial breeding...Further speculations down this road seems more strange, because if acne is caused by dead cells exploding, then what is causing them to explode throughout the area of effect (usually the face, but sometimes on other parts as well), in a rather well spaced-out manner? (Imagination plus not enough knowledge on the subject goes a long way.)

In any case, whatever that's causing acne would most likely travel by vesticles to the outside of the cell, so unless there is some serious mislabeling, not getting out seems to be a pretty unusual thing to me.

...(facepaw.)

LAAAAAAATE!

Oh dear. I've been doing additional research for the ergot poisoning write-up (1 pg minimum...I wrote 2, accidentally.) and...it's really late now. In Hutchinsons.

Chem lab was fun. Pretty colors.

The worse is over, I think. I hope. Tomorrow will be an easier day and Friday will be 'yay'. It's only 'bad' because I had work due, anyway. Not that I don't have more work due tomorrow or Friday, but I'm either done with it (or have overdone it), or it's not...due due.

I still have to find a way to show that 'what are you sinking about' commercial in the Language seminar. I should go to TIexpress to see what they have that I can borrow.

I should go. It's late. It's dark.

This is me writing n times a day as I hog a station in the computer lab, doing and not doing my homework.

Found out that while the older computers in the Segundo LRC has no CPUs to plug headphones & USBs into and has very old and slow computers (w/ no firefox), they allow AIMexpress and can print for free 10 pages a day, no quarter limit. Hmm....

I better go back to cook myself some bokchoy for dinner, then do Chem hw and draft the Salem Witch essay.