My cat and I are similar.

We both attach so intensely, to so few.

We both start missing those we love and rely on
in fear and anticipation of parting.

It doesn't matter that it shouldn't be possible.

All I feel is my extra bits of stomach and the distance we will soon have between us.

They are dominating my motivation and necessity to accomplish.

The Joy of computers

I knows the meaning of it.

I'm rather pleased by the Lenovo Ideapad Y560 I received from UPS today. I'd been waiting all Labour Day weekend for it since it arrived in a check-in station 20 minutes away from my dwellings. Technically, my Dad received it for me since I was away in the Sunset-Richmond area for some free museum touring and didn't come back until almost midnight.

But yaaaaay, computer. I'd been giddy--pawing at T and wagging my invisible tail--every time I saw a laptop today.

Nice, pretty computer. I didn't want to worry about how it'd look because I know I would obsess otherwise, but it's actually pretty nice. It's actually pretty suitable to my tastes. It matches with my phone but hopefully not down to the cracks. Anyway, too tired to stuff my computer full of programs before some sleep right now.

Darkness is my friend. So is the TV

The sun was too bright this morning at eight. It pierced through my eyelids every time my barrier of pillows and blankets collapsed. It never bothered me before. Now the ceiling light is causing the same problem. Too bright. Maybe watching too much House does this.

I should be slaying demons in style instead.

After 23 million seconds

In truth, often I don't think I know how to have a healthy, close relationship with others properly. Don't even believe I can do it even when I think about it. There's always something excessive or lacking about them.

Makes me grateful and undeserving of the happiness I have received.

I am torn by the decision between distressing over the drastically quick and uncharacteristic way I've attached to That Guy and discarding the deep emotions that belatedly manifested in my life for a more agreeable personality.

The Guy thinks it's not much of a problem but I should do something about it.

I wasn't the least bit hungry until that last bit came out, despite only having had one meal nine hour ago in the last day. Stomach is more interested in food now, but Brain is still pretty meh about it.

Runaway Child

Can't help but think that I had just been doing voluntary work that went unappreciated during these past few days. Later, despite of actually having given advance notice, the higher power was angered from my phelgmatic delinquency of not promptly returning home, choosing instead to spend time socializing with friends and not be holed up at 'home' with a rather undesirable living and social arrangement.

What the bloody hell did I do wrong now?

Sweating like a cat.

For the first time since I've been back home, the weather feels like summer. Summery weather will persist until tomorrow, at least, and...it seems that I'll be heading in to forty-something degree weather tomorrow. At least after tomorrow, the difference in weather will not be that great from home?

In other news, this is the longest I've been on a computer in one session for more weeks that I care to count. Oh, what a blissful nine hours. Thank you for the early registration time, administrators. Thank you for giving me an excuse.

Catching up

Comic Con. (4-5 weeks ago)
Dad's computer died. (While I was in San Diego)
My computer died. (3 weeks ago)
Started going back up Davis weekly for research group meeting. (3 weeks ago)
Started obsessing over making Japanese cooking.
Car got a headlight knocked off in our own driveway by family. (Tuesday)
Got into accident on the way back from Davis. (Thursday)

I feel useless. I AM useless, severed from everything, sitting out the days as everyone outside the perimeters moves by and moves on.