I wasn't the least bit hungry until that last bit came out, despite only having had one meal nine hour ago in the last day. Stomach is more interested in food now, but Brain is still pretty meh about it.

Runaway Child

Can't help but think that I had just been doing voluntary work that went unappreciated during these past few days. Later, despite of actually having given advance notice, the higher power was angered from my phelgmatic delinquency of not promptly returning home, choosing instead to spend time socializing with friends and not be holed up at 'home' with a rather undesirable living and social arrangement.

What the bloody hell did I do wrong now?

Sweating like a cat.

For the first time since I've been back home, the weather feels like summer. Summery weather will persist until tomorrow, at least, and...it seems that I'll be heading in to forty-something degree weather tomorrow. At least after tomorrow, the difference in weather will not be that great from home?

In other news, this is the longest I've been on a computer in one session for more weeks that I care to count. Oh, what a blissful nine hours. Thank you for the early registration time, administrators. Thank you for giving me an excuse.

Catching up

Comic Con. (4-5 weeks ago)
Dad's computer died. (While I was in San Diego)
My computer died. (3 weeks ago)
Started going back up Davis weekly for research group meeting. (3 weeks ago)
Started obsessing over making Japanese cooking.
Car got a headlight knocked off in our own driveway by family. (Tuesday)
Got into accident on the way back from Davis. (Thursday)

I feel useless. I AM useless, severed from everything, sitting out the days as everyone outside the perimeters moves by and moves on.

Headachey since I was woken up at 11 to go to Half Moon Bay for fresh fish. Pretty sure it's just low blood sugar and a relative lack of sleep before we got back and got something in me. But I've hd low energy all day, and twelve hours after waking up, the headache returned.

I'm supposed to be out on a Godfather marathon mystery night by 10am tomorrow, but I have heard nothing of it since a five days ago and is not even sure if it'll be happening. I do believe the bunch of them are having a reunion of sorts tonight, though, so they'll probably not appreciate disturbances.

I love finding things.

Whether it's a couple of bucks in my old coat pocket or a new trail I always just pass by, the sense of excitement that comes with these little discoveries never left with the years. 

AND NOW.

I have found my very old livejournal, hotmail, and AIM accounts that I've forgotten passwords to. Oh man, this is exciting, like some leisurely detective work. By the way, I had to re-create my hotmail account in order to retrieve my livejournal password. My AIM email, however, remains to be discovered. 

Phlegmy gloom.

I wish that am relatively decent at something capable of occupying my hands and thoughts during these sluggish and dispassionate spells. At least I won't feel so disengaged the moment my brain gives out on studying, learning, and reading.

Feels like the price of any chance of involvement is a huge quantity of energy and distance covered (and money)...and I've run out of steam. Really really want to keep it up, but I'm so tired of being the one going, even if it is a more ideal location. Don't have the endurance.

I have a hard time believing in the strength of bond that I was told still exists despite the distance and the lack of history. Bullshit, I wanted to scream.

ETA: He really didn't understand. But that's okay. I've conceded to my awkwardly skeptical views on social bonds long ago. That sounds depressing, but I'm not sure if that's better than saying I really just believe in my own unworthiness.

Ow.

Just thought the world should know.

Oops, the plan to keep updated on my trip just pretty much fell flat...again. We'll see what'll happen with it. >_>;

The spot we went to, Mesa Arch, is not meant to be a snapshot spot. Chinese tourists are fucking irritating too. Seriously, I'm really hating the people in this tour. Uncivilized--or too civilized--mongrels with no respect for people and nature.