"Uro-English"

-----Original Message-----
From: Vivian Schlesinger
Sent: Monday, August 22, 2005 4:26 PM
To: Annitta Mui; Cecilia Eng; Dennis Tom; Farshad Altafi; Jack Emerson;
Peggy Daley
Subject: FW: Changes to English Language :)

European English Language

Enjoy your English while you can...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will become the official language of the European Union, rather than
German, which was the other possibility.

As part of negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

1. In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy.

2. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".

This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

3. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

4. Publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

5. Governments will enkourage removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

6. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

7. Peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and
"w" with "v".

8. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten
styl.

Zer vil be n! o mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru!

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.