I'm not the only one who can you that I run, run, run, intellectualizing and isolating where I can, suppressing where I cannot.

As if feeling rules were not competently learnt.

Affect display requires sincere affect in the first place.
Internal sources disturb the baseline, seeking attention and expression but only feels like a strong general sense of wrong;
External sources are even more so frightening in its perceptibility. (They are either masked by my egoism, deep beyond my capabilities to accept, or suspected to be not really what's happening.)
(So maybe it's just easier to not deal with the can of worms.)

Isolation is so easy.