The textbooks should be billed by october ($513.94)...and the housing payments are due in a few days. My arms hurt from carrying the textbooks back from the bookstore X\
The phone still doesn't have any reception...!
Almost done unpacking. I just need to wipe the drawers and put clothes in there. I want a place near my desk to put books in, but I don't know what to do...right now the textbooks are in the bottom drawer. We laid out the carpets last night, but haven't taped them together yet.
There are mostly orientation stuff today, and I plan to take some resource tours and go to academic advising today through Wednesday. Umm...not having something to plan my day seems a little incovenient right about now. Haha, a PDA seems like a good idea now, though a computer would suffice.
Amy's still not awake. Well, too bad, because I'm not gonna sit here and wait for her to wake up before I go anywhere.
Uhh...I think I need a bit more sleep than 6.5 hours. I didn't even sleep soundly last night.
25 September 2006
20 September 2006
Hello, World.
I feel restless,
but I'm not cleaning
and packing?
Just found another downside to Blogger beta: no BlogThis function. Maybe I need to update the plugin or something.
Restless.
Restless.
Pace the private "living" room.
Pace the family living room.
Pace the house.
Looks for the cat.
Pace.
Pace.
Restless.
Restless.
Tired.
Confused?
Overwhelmed?
Restless.
Biked in circles today afternoon.
Must do that again.
Must Clean.
Must Pack.
Doing neither.
Restless.
Wander.
Got a new phone. *pink* RAZR V3m.
Incompetent representatives.
Wasted an hour, waiting.
Defective phone.
Stupid phone that can't connect with other phones. Even with bluetooth.
Cheaters.
Worse than my Ericsson T616.
Unsatisfied.
Phone numbers messed up.
...
I don't think I can say I'm 'happy' at this moment.
I think I'm kinda numb.
I think I'm kinda scared.
I think I don't want to go.
I feel like I'm stuck in something.
Am I still trying to go in circles, thinking it'd be alright if I pretend to not see the street just off to the side? Not see the world outside?
Stuck.
Restless.
but I'm not cleaning
and packing?
Just found another downside to Blogger beta: no BlogThis function. Maybe I need to update the plugin or something.
Restless.
Restless.
Pace the private "living" room.
Pace the family living room.
Pace the house.
Looks for the cat.
Pace.
Pace.
Restless.
Restless.
Tired.
Confused?
Overwhelmed?
Restless.
Biked in circles today afternoon.
Must do that again.
Must Clean.
Must Pack.
Doing neither.
Restless.
Wander.
Got a new phone. *pink* RAZR V3m.
Incompetent representatives.
Wasted an hour, waiting.
Defective phone.
Stupid phone that can't connect with other phones. Even with bluetooth.
Cheaters.
Worse than my Ericsson T616.
Unsatisfied.
Phone numbers messed up.
...
I don't think I can say I'm 'happy' at this moment.
I think I'm kinda numb.
I think I'm kinda scared.
I think I don't want to go.
I feel like I'm stuck in something.
Am I still trying to go in circles, thinking it'd be alright if I pretend to not see the street just off to the side? Not see the world outside?
Stuck.
Restless.
18 September 2006
Re: Pocket Monster: Advance Generation
oO; I wasn't serious about the last post, but thanks for caring, guys XD
17 September 2006
Pocket Monsters: Advanced Generation
For one reason or another, I downloaded and watched the last two episodes of Pokemon: AG. Since the Orange League episodes, I haven't paid much attention to Pokemon, so watching it again is...I guess rather fun. And here are the comments (+screenshots + spoilers!) of the last episode of PokeAG.
I already knew about Haruka (May) in AG. Well, I think she's the female character in...Crystal? Anyway, after seeing Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl's preview, it seems that Satoshi is meeting more and more feminine girls, haha.
My first point of interest: the Rockets seemed to have developed a tolerance against electricity. How can they not, after being shocked out of screen in half of the episodes?
Okay, fine. I admit that the only reason I downloaded this episode after seeing the previous one (which was downloaded out of curiosity) was because of Shigeru (Gary) (Insert slight fangirling here). I'm rather suprised by his rather soft voice though. Perhaps I'm just used to the horrid American dub one. Actually, most voices are done by female voice actors (incl Satoshi (Ash) and Shigeru)...But the point of this screenshot is their height. Though their height don't seem to be any different than say, the very beginning of Pokemon, they look relatively normal, right?!
So why do Shige+Sato still look like shrimps next to the adults?! Do they not AGE? I mean, really, after four-hundred-and-sixty odd episodes and travelling four to 5 countries, it can't just have been a year or something, right?! There are more episodes than days in a year! WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK NOT A DAY OVER 10?! Do they have some sort of dwarf gene or delayed growth spurt gene or something in them? Satoshi's mom x drawf = OTP?! Or, Prof. Oak x dwarf = OTP??!?!?! (is rather disturbed)
(Thinks about Gary's lack of parents, Gary and Hanako's hair color, Gary & Ash's dwarfness, their age, their "rivalry"...and arrives at something eerily similar to Korean drama plot)
But, aw, how cute, Gary goes back to town (refusing to battle with Ash with the excuse that his pokemon (previous screen shot) ran out of energy after shocking the Rockets) to tell everyone Ash's comming back so they can suprise him. (slash gears turns) Wait, but he already called ahead, so he's really trying to welcome him before everybody else!
Furthermore, he comes back to Pallet,
pwns Ash with his shiny new Pokemon,
tells him about being humble and the big, big world (of Pokemon) out there,
...and goes back to whatever he was doing in Shin'ou. (He doesn't that kind of free time [to stay awhile] and there are lots he has to do, he says.) Did he go back to Pallet just to see Ash? LoL. I think Kasumi (Misty) welcomed him home the last time he went back...is there a connection here (rival or otherwise)?!
Either that, or Shigeru is thinking "damn, I was used as a plot device again" right then.
Then Ash decides to run off to Shin'ou the next day after Gary <3 (is not seriously being a shipper here, guys.)
Seem like he'll manage to get Brock to cook/clean/care for his Pokemon for him again next series, too. I kinda want to see that now. If just for the Shigeru-love.
Anyway. Wow. Another loong post, though it's the opposite of last post, haha.
I already knew about Haruka (May) in AG. Well, I think she's the female character in...Crystal? Anyway, after seeing Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl's preview, it seems that Satoshi is meeting more and more feminine girls, haha.
My first point of interest: the Rockets seemed to have developed a tolerance against electricity. How can they not, after being shocked out of screen in half of the episodes?
Okay, fine. I admit that the only reason I downloaded this episode after seeing the previous one (which was downloaded out of curiosity) was because of Shigeru (Gary) (Insert slight fangirling here). I'm rather suprised by his rather soft voice though. Perhaps I'm just used to the horrid American dub one. Actually, most voices are done by female voice actors (incl Satoshi (Ash) and Shigeru)...But the point of this screenshot is their height. Though their height don't seem to be any different than say, the very beginning of Pokemon, they look relatively normal, right?!
So why do Shige+Sato still look like shrimps next to the adults?! Do they not AGE? I mean, really, after four-hundred-and-sixty odd episodes and travelling four to 5 countries, it can't just have been a year or something, right?! There are more episodes than days in a year! WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK NOT A DAY OVER 10?! Do they have some sort of dwarf gene or delayed growth spurt gene or something in them? Satoshi's mom x drawf = OTP?! Or, Prof. Oak x dwarf = OTP??!?!?! (is rather disturbed)
(Thinks about Gary's lack of parents, Gary and Hanako's hair color, Gary & Ash's dwarfness, their age, their "rivalry"...and arrives at something eerily similar to Korean drama plot)
But, aw, how cute, Gary goes back to town (refusing to battle with Ash with the excuse that his pokemon (previous screen shot) ran out of energy after shocking the Rockets) to tell everyone Ash's comming back so they can suprise him. (slash gears turns) Wait, but he already called ahead, so he's really trying to welcome him before everybody else!
Furthermore, he comes back to Pallet,
pwns Ash with his shiny new Pokemon,
tells him about being humble and the big, big world (of Pokemon) out there,
...and goes back to whatever he was doing in Shin'ou. (He doesn't that kind of free time [to stay awhile] and there are lots he has to do, he says.) Did he go back to Pallet just to see Ash? LoL. I think Kasumi (Misty) welcomed him home the last time he went back...is there a connection here (rival or otherwise)?!
Either that, or Shigeru is thinking "damn, I was used as a plot device again" right then.
Then Ash decides to run off to Shin'ou the next day after Gary <3 (is not seriously being a shipper here, guys.)
Seem like he'll manage to get Brock to cook/clean/care for his Pokemon for him again next series, too. I kinda want to see that now. If just for the Shigeru-love.
Anyway. Wow. Another loong post, though it's the opposite of last post, haha.
15 September 2006
Torn
When I began this blog 3 years ago (has it really been three years?), I didn't want it to be a xanga-typed 'look guys, I'm so important that you'd want to know every little thing I did today' journal. I thought it was silly and ego-centric. Too many censors that kept me from knowing what's really going on in their minds. I didn't like reading those "superficial" posts, and strived to steer away from that.
I wanted some place where I can let some steam off. Some place where I can express myself to my content. Some place to record my thoughts. Some place to let others decide whether they are interested in what I have to say. Some place to open myself as if I would to a...I don't know. A place to throw my image and face and whatever I've built around myself away for a bit. It worked, for a while.
Without even going back on the entries, I know I've shed some of that "I-must-not-show-weaknesses" layer, if only just a bit. Perhaps whether I made myself open up or not made no difference in these three years (afterall, I did became more involved with other activities and grew more comfortable to this setting with these people), but the growth is there, as minimal as it may be.
I still dislike being "not good enough", "not better", and "faulty." It still plagues me. But I've stopped mentioning it and other darker stuff that I used to expose. I stopped writing when I really should. Censored.
Perhaps I felt I exposed myself too much and too little. Perhaps I felt my thoughts worry others.
But me just having a fine, fine life was—is—definately not the case.
I can blame it on the comments thing. I realized, whether I want to or not, I care what these readers feel after the post. I don't want them to think I'm inbalanced, chronically depressed, perpetually unhappy, or that I need cuddling. Becoming aware of these readers...scared me. I don't want them (you) to see me at my worst, at my ugliest. I don't want them (you) to see how selfish, how disgusting, how queer, how...imperfect I am.
I laugh and make fun of my own faults, but it's a strike to myself every time I do it. I hated every time I see myself being ugly.
Nonetheless, I am grateful for the comments. They make me feel just a little more important.
I have a frighteningly low self-esteem.
I am afraid, deathly afraid, of being forgotten.
I wanted to fix this.
I still want to fix this.
I thought this writing would help.
I still think this writing can help. A little.
I don't know what else I can do.
I don't know how else I can stop using the word "I" and stop being so selfish and ego-centric and disgusting.
I'm fucking pathetic.
...
...
...
I know this is treated like a keep-in-touch blog. Even I'm treating it like so now. Things that I want people to know, things that I think are interesting go into these posts. I still refuse to detail my life in this, but that's only because I'm easily bored by having to repeat my day all over. Just a matter of taste, I guess.
And this is the way it should remain.
But too much I leave unsaid. So I will dump the darkstuffs somewhere else. I can't bring myself to not let anyone read it, nor, I've realized, should I force them to choke on the poison I threw up. Not out. Just up. For the same reason I can't bring myself to disable comments. I made the decision to let it out. They (you) have the right/choice to respond. I like the silence just as I like the attention.
Things will change a bit. In the future.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I wanted some place where I can let some steam off. Some place where I can express myself to my content. Some place to record my thoughts. Some place to let others decide whether they are interested in what I have to say. Some place to open myself as if I would to a...I don't know. A place to throw my image and face and whatever I've built around myself away for a bit. It worked, for a while.
Without even going back on the entries, I know I've shed some of that "I-must-not-show-weaknesses" layer, if only just a bit. Perhaps whether I made myself open up or not made no difference in these three years (afterall, I did became more involved with other activities and grew more comfortable to this setting with these people), but the growth is there, as minimal as it may be.
I still dislike being "not good enough", "not better", and "faulty." It still plagues me. But I've stopped mentioning it and other darker stuff that I used to expose. I stopped writing when I really should. Censored.
Perhaps I felt I exposed myself too much and too little. Perhaps I felt my thoughts worry others.
But me just having a fine, fine life was—is—definately not the case.
I can blame it on the comments thing. I realized, whether I want to or not, I care what these readers feel after the post. I don't want them to think I'm inbalanced, chronically depressed, perpetually unhappy, or that I need cuddling. Becoming aware of these readers...scared me. I don't want them (you) to see me at my worst, at my ugliest. I don't want them (you) to see how selfish, how disgusting, how queer, how...imperfect I am.
I laugh and make fun of my own faults, but it's a strike to myself every time I do it. I hated every time I see myself being ugly.
Nonetheless, I am grateful for the comments. They make me feel just a little more important.
I have a frighteningly low self-esteem.
I am afraid, deathly afraid, of being forgotten.
I wanted to fix this.
I still want to fix this.
I thought this writing would help.
I still think this writing can help. A little.
I don't know what else I can do.
I don't know how else I can stop using the word "I" and stop being so selfish and ego-centric and disgusting.
I'm fucking pathetic.
...
...
...
I know this is treated like a keep-in-touch blog. Even I'm treating it like so now. Things that I want people to know, things that I think are interesting go into these posts. I still refuse to detail my life in this, but that's only because I'm easily bored by having to repeat my day all over. Just a matter of taste, I guess.
And this is the way it should remain.
But too much I leave unsaid. So I will dump the darkstuffs somewhere else. I can't bring myself to not let anyone read it, nor, I've realized, should I force them to choke on the poison I threw up. Not out. Just up. For the same reason I can't bring myself to disable comments. I made the decision to let it out. They (you) have the right/choice to respond. I like the silence just as I like the attention.
Things will change a bit. In the future.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
14 September 2006
07 September 2006
05 September 2006
In The Library
Went to 6th period, then to Q-cup, then to Robotics with Amy.
Amy went to work and I followed along. After an hour of dA-checking (still have 800+ to go through ;_;), here I still am.
So here I ponder. I really should not continue my 3-plus-month brain dead "vacation" period and work on some projects I have meant to complete since...a long time ago. Possibly since summer last year, at least.
The gift for Ward is done. Now I just have to finish Faustine's. The concept/design is there, but the pictures are not satisfactory yet. I haven't started on the frame yet, either. Perhaps I should leave now and, perhaps, I can catch the last bit of sunlight and take more photos. Though, it's 18:00 now...no, the sunlight is past the Cayota (??? What was is called?) grove anyway.
This blog layout is messed up. The menu is crap. I'm not about to fix it even though I know how to now. I wonder if we'd actually get together and go 'teach' a Japanese lesson like Kat and Amy and Shibamiya said. Would be nice if we did. Oh, must come up with several Robotics sweatshirt design before Thursday, too...
Amy's right. My mentality still hasn't graduated yet.
Amy went to work and I followed along. After an hour of dA-checking (still have 800+ to go through ;_;), here I still am.
So here I ponder. I really should not continue my 3-plus-month brain dead "vacation" period and work on some projects I have meant to complete since...a long time ago. Possibly since summer last year, at least.
The gift for Ward is done. Now I just have to finish Faustine's. The concept/design is there, but the pictures are not satisfactory yet. I haven't started on the frame yet, either. Perhaps I should leave now and, perhaps, I can catch the last bit of sunlight and take more photos. Though, it's 18:00 now...no, the sunlight is past the Cayota (??? What was is called?) grove anyway.
This blog layout is messed up. The menu is crap. I'm not about to fix it even though I know how to now. I wonder if we'd actually get together and go 'teach' a Japanese lesson like Kat and Amy and Shibamiya said. Would be nice if we did. Oh, must come up with several Robotics sweatshirt design before Thursday, too...
Amy's right. My mentality still hasn't graduated yet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)