Gastrointestinal Issues

I wonder if there's some psychological thing going on with me lately. By this season, I'm usually constantly consciously hungry. Hunger signals seem to have gotten much more easily ignored or not perceived. Then the stomach makes a lot of noise to compensate. But it has been making a lot of noises regardless, for some reason. Perhaps this is an inherited trait that is just starting to show through?

I still eat and want to eat, but knowledge/perception of the hungry-satisfied-full boundary seem to have faded quite a bit.

It's slightly worrying.

I'm so glad she seems

better.
aware.
wants to move on.
moving on?

Was not aware I had been holding my breath until now.
Wish I were better at it.

Eyes and a finger.

The inner fold of my eyelids are a little further in (both eyes!) today. It gave the illusion of wider eyes, but on closer inspection, my eyes now look a little strange, like some barely noticeable make up. The down side is the utter weariness below the eyes that most certainly accompanies the double lids above.

I think it's time for some long overdue mud skin care tomorrow. Before I go over to dinner because I won't get back until the next day, probably. Curses, Stockholm syndrome!

In related news, I chopped off a small chuck of my left index finger nail making dinner. A tenth of a millimetre deeper would have meant pain and a bloody finger. Thank you, nails.

In other news, brain is about to go 'splody from all the astronomy, astrophysics, and astrobiology concepts and terms, even if it's just wiki.

I think...I might be doing better. But that's only because there's someone who keeps me in line. We're half way through this already; I found myself afraid to let go of that crutch. It's comfortable. And not so lonely.

A little afraid to get comfortable.

'Cus, hey, socially hesitant and unsure is not exactly new, is it?

Yeah, sometimes it hurts during the first or second day, but the pain never came close to the verge of throwing up. Could feel the urge to do so. Don't think much would have came up, though, since the ingested half a cup of milk and slice of bread would have been close to 4 hours past digestion.

I wonder when was the last time I had to sleep off some sort of pain while waiting for the Ibuprofen to work. Probably never.

Ah, and it's been a while. Hello again. Life has been rather depressing. Rather, lacking in motivation and direction, for whatever reason.


ETA 20091023: It turns out that the next month was almost as bad. It happened at home and I slept from 1600 to 1900 because of that.

Ha! Dead circuits in the house.

So I came out of the shower to find a portion of the house out of electricity: two of three sets of outlets in my room, hallway light and outlet, all of the living room plugs (save two), and one kitchen wall outlet (the one with the router)--essentially, everything along and near the central divide between the housing quarters and the living quarters. Or between the bathroom and bedrooms and living room and kitchen. I suspect it's whatever that causes the area above the ceiling valve-thing above the foot of my bed to make echoing noises whenever it rains. (The valve noises is how I can tell it's raining outside!).

A blown fuse wasn't the problem; it would have killed off all of the outlets in both bedrooms (6 total) plus the hallway plugs, anyway.

So I spent some time rewiring my room: one outlet strip is moved to the outlet next to my table, from which the stereo, laptop, external hard drive, heater, and router (brought in from the kitchen) draws power. The iPod now draws power from my laptop through an USB extension cable and hooked up to the stereo. It hangs in mid-air behind my chair because the alternative is to drape the almost long enough cable down the other side of me, thereby greatly increasing my risk of tripping and somehow knocking into the heater, inevitably burning some gratings onto some body part.

By the way, did I mention that I've been sick and sleep deprived for the past week and is currently forced to keep awake on chocolate-coated espresso beans? After demolishing about a third in about 10 days, they don't even seem strong enough now—I have to eat off the chocolate first, then crunch on the naked bean for the bam. And I'm pretty sure the sugar in the chocolate is making me more sick. A said I sound even more sick than when I first announced that I have finally succumbed to whatever that has been going around. Due to running around campus delivering (late) Valentine's roses without an umbrella in the the rain. (I just tried to spell umbrella with an e (in place of u), then again with a p (in place of the b), and some other odd variations. Ha, I'm getting more and more out of it.)

These three weeks seemed to have largely restore my ability to stay semi-functional with little to no sleep, something I haven't done much since junior year of high school. Actually, even then, it wasn't done with this degree of frequency. Or in sickness.

Wow I suck this quarter. Terrible on tests, not writing papers, no ambition, a fucking wreck,forgetting to do online homework, skipping classes, not working on important projects, sleeping about 3 hours on average with a pretty bad flu, biting off more than I could chew, accidentally wiping about 8GB of files from my computer then prioritising its recovery efforts before my lab report that was due the next day...Oh, and spending all this time blogging. About the only thing that got done was the double major petition.

I am such a fucking genius.

Percieved dehydration

There's just something about being forced to pee every thirty minutes that makes my (usual) dehydrated state more noticeable and irritable.

...Because I normally just ignore it.

Birfdae.

I woke up hardly an hour ago, but today is still shaping up to be the best one in the past 3 years. Surrounding days notwithstanding. After all, I wasn't staying up getting my heart tugged around, inevitably pulling hard on the tear gland. Nor was I staying up avoiding my birthday party, not because of the company but because of an impending test.

This year, despite being lost about my direction in life and a real need to finish that report and plan this presentation and sort out that research schedule, today I will play. I slept for 17 hours (19 would be a better number) and is ready to forget about everything else, just for a day.

As an afterthought, maybe today just feels great because it's been somewhat crap for the past two weeks. Huh.

I think I'm a little off.

Because I'm thinking,

I want to sleep.

But went I really think about it,

I don't think it's because I feel like I will drop off any second. Or that my eyes are about to close.

It's not that.

But more of wandering, drifting thoughts, slow to form and quick to vanish.

My brain is surrounded by a gelatinous glob that is keeping me from thinking.

Though I know that I will fall asleep as soon as one of my temples rubs against something soft and...supportive.

Can't let that happen yet, though. My discipline needs to be disciplined more.

Ah.

Incoherent bits on the Obama inauguration

The CNN video refuses to embed D:

Watching the parade live: Michelle Obama is so cute, all smiley and peppy and dance-y to Signed Sealed Delievered even after so long. And CNN was trying to prod the CNN Live/Facebook users to comment more by highlighting them.

I was completely distracted for a good while by the photographs of Rahm Emanuel being caught making silly faces this morning.

Barack, Michelle, Joey B were bored bored bored, then the Chinese dragons and lions came out and woke them up for the next band :]

Wow. 1,200 VMI? I like their marching music.

OOH, NASA!Craft is last! Wait, where's the astronaut with the flag going?! Oh, Right, I guess the craft's not going the whole 1.7 miles.

I like how Obama and Biden's always Red and Blue. Not the first time they planned it. It's also not just me who thinks this presidency has very pretty and entertaining people in it. It's better than the actual entertainment world!

ALSO.
I really want an .mp3 rip of this video. The ones I've been finding/hearing is missing the beginning piano bits.

I now have renewed intense dislike for incompetent human beings...

...I almost forgot those existed, what with my style of scholastic failure. I also forgot that they exist in my classes. It's really been too long since I had to work with other people. The group I had chosen to sit with was perfectly fine—maybe less than the absolutely bright and know what's going on kind, but they are great to converse with, with intelligent inputs and what seems to be a drive to do well.

But now that I was switched to a new group...

THEY ARE MORE INCOMPETENT THAN I. For once in such a very long time, I actually had to be nervous about what my group members were up to, whether they got the stuff done, and was worrying about the deadline (21:00).

And then, at 19:30, the one who holds all our communication lines (emails) finally sends something, saying she's sick. One email didn't go through, the other girl just didn't respond. So I had to add on whatever bits she missed (which was quite a lot) and patched enough things on the powerpoint to cover up for the lack of sources on her part.

I DON'T LIKE WORRYING ABOUT SCHOOL WORK AND TEAM MATES. IT'S BAD FOR MY HEALTH D:

In other news, I think a politics-related post is imminent. I can't stand not talking about it any further.

OMG WUTS WRONG WIF ME

Shall I compare myself to a freakishly heavy rolling cart going over a hill?

It's always "I don't wanna do it" until I get started.

Then there's no stopping the rock. Or cart, in this case. 

"I love this rug."

Meeting of the (ex-)Presidents

George Jr.: I want to thank the president-elect, for, uh, joining the, uh, ex-presidents...For lunch. And by declaring myself as one of the ex-es, whatever happens next is none of my business. Tee-hee.

Bill: (amused and tries not to laugh) 

Jimmy: Everyone's ignoring me, so I guess I'll just stand off to the side and look like I enjoy myself  D:

Why does Barack looks like he's just pretending to take our current president (Remember: still a president until the 20th) in utmost seriousness? Too many nods and uncommittal "yes, yes, of course" noises, perhaps?

[George Jr. finishes speech]

Barack: The, uh...

[Lights go off] (Alright! Let's go get lunch, people!)

Barack: B..but wait! I haven't gotten my screentime yet! D:

George Jr.: (nudge) Lol. Decorum, sweetie. 

Barack: (CAMERAWHORES)

Bill: (Still amused and trying to not laugh) This is better than TV. 

George Jr.: Lol. How cute.

George Sr.: (impatient) C'mon...I need to go to the bathroom...

The awkwardness is wonderful. The pictures are better. But Bill small-talking George Jr. about the Oval Office Rug is the best bit. Oh, and the George Jr. *shrug tee-hee* bit at the end. 

Personally, this new presidency is getting off to a bad start—I'm purely following them for entertainment, as of a week ago. You see, The Flist That I Do Not Follow are quite a bit more worldly than I. So when I decide to check out whatever they have to offer, quite a bit comes through. 

Most of which then proceeds to drag me in with their absolute craziness. Last time I lasted a couple of hours. This time it was two days. It's like tentacle monsters and sailors. 

A depiction of Rahm, his BlackBerry, and his family did it for me this time. I guess my intellect is really free-falling off a cliff—at least my last phase as jumpstarted by sexy, witty mafia banter (which is still growing strong, by the way. Need more people in the bookverse, though D:)