I realized, with some degree of disgust, that I am feeling accomplished from a ridiculously small amount of interpersonal communications. 3 phone calls, 2 emails, and one meeting today. Oh, and another call shall be made...oh, fine, I'll do it now.

I wonder what happened to me.

Probably on a lost track not to where I had hoped.

Talk about my cowardice should not be surprising now.

So easily lured by the easiest way out (by neglect).

Putting up a brave, mature front isn't very fun.

But not doing so is more stupid.

Current situation requires "independence" and "maturity" so the Parents would not worry.

"How is it going?" "Oh, just as usual."

...

Ah, it seems that not only have I screwed my own life up, I am also making it worse by still not being able to talk about it.

Damn that pride to the deepest reaches of the Mariana Trench.

Having The Cat with me makes me better and worse all at the same time.

Banned Heinz Mayo Advert: "Ain't you forgetting somethin'?!"

Heinz Deli Mayo Advert


The Wright Stuff on the pulled mayo commercial in question:


What LJ: furiosity said is so true:

The thing is, it's fairly obvious that the point of the ad is that if you use Heinz Deli Mayo, your creations will be indistinguishable from those prepared in authentic New York delis, so much so that even your family will mistake you for one of those dudes who work in New York delis, accent and all. It doesn't require Mummy and Daddy to explain gay people to Little Joanie unless they choose to. And if Mummy and Daddy are too dumb to work this out, damn, I wish they hadn't bred in the first place. Poor Joanie.

I don't think Heinz necessarily had to pull the commercial because of 200 complaints (since it's a small number and they spent the money on the commercial already), but hey, what do I know about big advertising businesses and their business model?

Typical Student Emotion

And here I spray my pomegranate juice all over the laptop.

Through DJ:Missamy, WP:David's logbook

New school semester:


At the first week:


At the second week:


Before the mid-term test:


During the mid-term test:


After the mid-term test:


Before the final exam:


Once know the final exam schedule:


7 days before final exam:


6 days before final exam:


5 days before final exam:


4 days before final exam:


3 days before final exam:


2 days before final exam:


1 day before final exam:


A night before final exam:


1 hour before final exam:


During the final exam:


Once walk out from the exam hall:


After the final exam, during the holiday:

cross-sprayed juice over in LJ, too.

So let's recap(itulate) a little, without chronology, with a touch of melancholy self-hating, shall we?

This is point in time is not quite the end yet, so I shall reign in the reflections for a couple more days. But ruminations are certainly permissible, I think.

I walked out of Genetics final feeling quite lost and with plenty of regret. I am done with the class—the one (real) class that I enjoyed—and I prepared far too inadequately for it. Not as inadequate as the studying I tend to do for o-chem, but the guilt is worse. They weren't difficult questions, but only being able to recall the page and recognize the questions (the same questions) without the capacity to recall the details and the actual answer sits more heavily on my conscience than walking out of a(n) (o-chem) test knowing I have failed because I had absolutely no inkling to the answer.

I probably have grown quite attached to the professor, too. He was incredibly willing to share what he knows, and will answer questions beyond what was asked. My relatively numerous (but can still be counted on one hand) number of not-relevant-to-test-material-but-related questions probably facilitated that. He's also the adorable bumble-y grandfatherly types with a good sense of humor and love of metaphors...and I think I'm somewhat more easily attached to parental figures these days.

So tired and down but I know I shouldn't be.

I just felt like I failed the professor, the parents, and the self because I didn't study enough when I bloody knew my capabilities are far from my performance today. I know I can be brilliant, and there was absolutely no excuse for getting less than 95% today because all the answers were there and available and are things I have seen and should have remembered. And from what I've seen, calculated, and went through, I don't think there's really a chance for his curve to keep my grade in the borderline A-/A range (in which case I think I have accumulated enough "extra" points for an A).

Disappointment to the world, I am.

Self-hatred? Check.

(Too consumed to even talk about the internet problem anymore)

TW, DW related FLAIL.

Three in the morning is really a bad time (or the best time) to go completely squee at the Doctor Who season 4 mid-season trailer and John Barrowman's interview, in which he talks about Scott and Torchwood season 3.

Rose looks completely kick-ass (pardon the lack of better vocabulary) and...squee, can't wait!

Stephen Moffat taking over RTD as Doctor Who's executive producer is also not disappointing. Moffat's series plotting skills have yet to be seen, but he wrote some of the very best episodes, so no complain there.

AND WHERE CAN I FIND THE READY STEADY COOK EPISODE WITH BARROWMAN?? (immediately gets distracted by David Tennant cooking)

[insert major flailing here]


(post cross-flailed)

Drug(s).

It seems I had forgotten the wonderful wonders of CAFFEINE. COFFEE.

But it's been rediscovered. And now I'm running on no dinner and two cups of (barely passable instant) coffee and will be looking towards a third. Now I know the secret to O-Chem motivation: get high on caffeine. It's actually interesting and fun given that I'm awake and slightest bit giddy.

About time to pop another Ibuprofen, too, it seems. Can feel it in the lower abdomen (uterus) and lower back already...This stuff's punctuality is to be admired. Every six hours, on the dot, number of recommended tablets notwithstanding.

I know I have a third bag of instant somewhere around here. If not, I'll just beg Kitsu for her grounded ones.

Blogs, blogs, blogs

I have been dusting off my web-coding hat all afternoon-evening. The Livejournal/Deadjournal/Insanejournal/JournalFen/commiejournal system finally made enough sense for some starter customization—I will definitely churn out at least one LJcode-based layout by the end of summer. I've finally chanced upon JF opening their accounts after about a year of periodical lurking, and have discovered Commiejournal on the way—so far it has the best free account offer: 100 userpics as well as S1 style creation (S2 style creation seems to be a paid feature across the board with varying degrees of freedom for S1).

I'm learning so damn much looking at LJ: smallwaldo's source code. And the most wonderful thing? Its code is actually very neat and organized unlike some of the disgraces I've seen. Maybe that's my lack of expertise speaking.

Blogger, despite being vastly different, remains my favourite. I will not abandon you, love, never ♥ Wordpress is definitely pretty though; I will look into its coding once I settle the others.

I was fiddling with this blog's template and itched to click the "randomize blog colors" link, and after a couple of clicks and some minor adjusting, this new color scheme is the result. I still cannot figure where the code for the top (now dark gray) bar is. This requires moar research.

Ah, so yes, I've rediscovered the passion that is website coding.

Doctor Who 4.04, 4.05, and 4.06

4.04 & 4.05 have their brilliant moments, including the Return of the Valiant, the UNIT caps, Ross Jenkins(♥!), Gramps (as always), the last Martha/Martha bit, and the cyberconversion unit, redecorated by the Sontarans with bits of blue light, in no particular order.

4.06 is rather cute. The death bit and the death and Martha bit were unconvincing and skimpy to say the least, but the rest was cute. Jenny was cute ♥ Donna is still absolutely wonderful and lovely. Go forth and wow those geniuses with your wonderful menial office worker knowledge! Oh, and I just had a horrific thought of dubbing Jenny as the Nurse (cringes).

I will really really miss Tennant when he leaves Doctor Who.

Life Upgrades

To much of the general population's (pop.: 1) disappointment, there is an absolute lack of upgrades on this life at this moment. Still jobless, work-less, hopeless (at oChem), and feeling semi worthless. All in a day's work.

Summer classes have been set: Intro to Psychobiology and Neurobiology for Summer Session I and nothing for SSII. I shall look into ceramics, crafts, traveling, LABWRK (!!!!!), and etc for said latter half of summer.

In entertainment news: after my period with classical music, first with Beethoven/William Kempf then with George Winston, I began to devote much time to Barrowman (the lack of shame and all), which now lead to flirting with Cole Porter, swing, musicals. Oh, and I'm being rapidly charmed by Kevin Kline.

And I hold firm in my opinions regarding Barrowman—he is great for the entertainment factor (because he is reasonably skilled and has no shame) but still looks funny. I think it's his mouth and chin.

In other entertainment news: Elijah Wood and the return of David Tennant on The Friday Night Project. Watching FNP on the internet means there are no commercials, but more often than not I find myself taking more than designated commercial breaks all the same. They tend to get rather overwhelming. The Elijah Wood epidsode has been pretty good so far, but not nearing the humor of the Tennant ones. Probably because Wood still gives off an air of...greenness. Neither shameless (JB) nor wittily dignified(?) (DT) enough to make the show show interesting. I'm so horrible.