Sometimes, I can't believe I bloody weak-willed I am. And I hate it. I really hate it. Don't you get it? I know it's late, but I'm really trying to change. I really have the heart to change this time, and it happened before I realize I have to stay up late to finish yet another essay or project. Don't you see? This is me attempting self-control. I don't want to argue. You raise your voice and yet mine doesn't change. The talk lengthens. You're suprised at how calm I talked through; you almost ended our conversation with slamming the door to my room, but me slowly opening stopped you. We kept talking. You calmed, but now getting irrational, asking me the same things, things I thought were the answers, again, but apparently you were looking for another. Half-heartedly, you actually wanted to see when i'd crack, loose my composed mask and break down, frustrated, scream, yell, start to be irrational, then accuse me for being so, while saying I have an explaination for everything. You heed no notice to my slightly desperate tone—I though you knew me; do I really need to wail my need for help? Apparently so. Apparently you think I have an explaination for everything. But did you notice, I was only explaining and requesting one thing, and nothing else? There, you got your break down, and I raised my frustrated voice 2 times. But I've got myself in check now, and I didn't loose my logic—I really hadn't any. All I want you to do is say, just SAY, you understand my proposal and problem, without using your solution: your way didn't work before, and it's not helping me. Don't you get it? I need self-control. The kind of self control that would stop me from ranting right now and go finish my history essay. I am now crying my eyes out [no doubt they'll be still be poofy by the time I get to school], and hating how I love my obsessions. I laugh at people who live without having something they love to do, but perhaps it's better that way. With the kind of person I am anyways. And this is only the beginning of the second week.

Perhaps there was a bit too much optimism when I said I've got my stone smoothly rolling again.

But then again, tears will always dry and time will always pass, no matter what you do with it. Who can be so optimistic though?

It's Post 228— the same number as this week's NARUTO! [All I See and Know are Pained Eyes]

Venus's Itachi looked a bit funny on my tracing, so I erased his whole head [in parts], and now I'm having trouble drawing back those indifferent, emotion-void [and too big] eyes that I erased. Them eyes all seem to be sad, in pain, or hiding some emotion today ><;;;

Er, I meant that I'm doing my History Attitude Inventory Essay right now oO;;;

Ah, sorry for the lack of a counter in the past few days; the site in which my counter links to was down to change servers. Hmm...Now if only I can figure out where to put my tagboard...



「．．．サスケ．．．お前〔まえ〕 がいつも一人のは知〔し〕 ってた．．．オレは．．．最初〔さいしょ〕 、自分〔じぶん〕 と同〔おな〕 じような奴〔やつ〕 がいるって分かって、安心〔あんしん〕 したんだ。それに、嬉〔うれ〕 しかった。ホントはすぐに話〔はな〕 しかけたかったんだ．．．けど．．．声〔こえ〕 をかけらんなかったんだってばよ。」
'...Sasuke...I knew you were always alone...I...had first thought you were a guy, different, like me, and I was content. Also, I was happy. The truth is, I wanted to talk to you...But...you didn't speak.' - Naruto : NARUTO ch 227　I didn't know exactly what 「ホントはすぐに話しかけたかったんだ．．．けど．．．声をかけらんなかったんだってばよ。」 meant, so had to reference from Inane's version...=\

2 Interesting Happenings on This Particular Friday.

Goo! I clicked on an Author Alert [and hummed "Going Under" by Evanesence for no reason], when to bathroom, came back, started reading the fic, and a paragraph down was part of the lyrics to Going Under. How Weird! ^^ I cross my heart to swear that I did not know the fic was going to use that song in any way.

Earlier I walked home with Amy, and on the way home she discovered a newly moved store, the AACP on third, [from downtown] right before Jack-In-The-Box. They have books on Asian culture and Asian American works. Interesting, eh?

One more little thing. You know what's amusing? A NARUTO Anime Music Video using Crawling by Linkin Park...featuring Aburame Shino.

Um..Ep 98 [yes, I gave in to the temptation of the new episode and downloaded the Anime-Heaven version -_-;;] wasn't quite as such in the manga, but honestly I like it better; it goes over some of the gaps. Poor Naruto, wanting to talk to Sasuke but was hogged by Sakura...(points) look how left alone he felt! Heh, Sasuke looks cute when he's half awake though. As I believe I've said before, Sasuke looks the cutest when he looks vulnerable—just makes me wanna glomp and cuddle him~!

Maa..with the appearences of...I think all of...my favorite characters (Iru, Kaka, Sasu, Naru, Shika, Lee), it's great to see that there are some breaks to the fight scenes. Especially Iru made an appearence! (Glomps Iru)('ne ne, how have your missions been? Was it hard after teaching for so long? ^^') WAAi~

And ch 228, it has been made clear, will be the beginning of tens of chapters of fight scenes. As much as I do not enjoy them as much as PLOT, such as Sasuke's past, etc, I don't hope that Kakashi doesn't get to them so soon. But then again, why not. The flashback of Naru-chan & Sasu-chan was cute—um...yeah....(huggles) You are adorable!

Alright, I'll stop my fangirl blabbling until I can get my hands on ch 288 raws. I read the JoJoHot Chinese version and will download the Inane English version when it's released.

Week 1. Mode: Dead.

Um..don't mind the title. I have no idea where it came from or what it implies.

Anyhow, the first week has been quite busy. I actually got my 'due-tomorrow' homework before 22:00. Yay! My life is really getting back on track! But then, I still have all those stuff due Monday.. X___<;; This will be a hard year, especially with my obsessions and hobbies combined, and I'm afraid I won't be getting much 8-hr sleep on schooldays. (Look! it's almost 00:00 although I got my homework done 2.5 hours ago!)

On another note, my class schedule is frighteningly like last year's. Non-bold is last year's schedule.
1° AP Bio - English 3-4H [switch with 2nd period b'c AP Bio has to be 1st period]
2° English 5-6H - Physics 1-2 [switch with 1st period b'c AP Bio has to be 1st period]
3° Art 1-2 - Self Guided PE [electives]
4° Calculus AP - Pre-Calc [should be obvious enough]
5° Japanese 7-8H - Japanese 5-6 [should be obvious enough]
6° AP US Hist - US Hist [should be obvious enough]

Ne, would people please leave their name at the end of a post if you don't have blogger? it's quite annoying to reply using 'Anonymous-san*'...

Anyways, I was happy when I got those comments ><;; It's such a dorky response, but I can't help it!

Tomorrow's picture day. Don't buy pictures but I must wear something nicer for my student ID. ><;;



'Wasn’t the moron supposedly undergoing puberty or something?! So why the hell did he still sound like a damsel in distress on crack?!' - Sasuke : NARUTO fanfic by purrfectly679 (ROFL) I was going to post a Dictionary.com word of the day, fungible, but this got the better of me.

Music: 世界に一つだけの花 Sekai ni Hitotsu Dake no Hana (The only flower in the world) - 12 Girls Band Vers.


Anonymous 1: I'm not REFUSING to post my cat pictures; I just need a place to put them!

Anonymous 2 & 3: I'm actually guessing number 1, 2, and 3 are the same person, considering their post times are quite close together, but since they are on different days...Ah, yes, thanks ><;; I'm not sure if I'm smart to pull a grade that much higher though, considering my shameful grammar....

*-san: Japanese suffix, English equivelant of Ms., Mr., & Mrs.

しゅみはネルことです。[Shuumi wa neru koto desu]

It didn't felt right to continuing on after that little...confession dressed in fancy cloths. So anyhow, I think I've finally gained some order after a chaotic month. Now, if only my room would lessen itself of some entropy...

Perhaps I'll get some decent shut-eye tonight.

Damn me, my Physics-talk, and my love of making anything 'poetic' I write in to metaphors. But people understood my metaphor down there, right, right? (pleading eyes)

Oh. Can't forget how fanfiction-styled I wrote.

Argh. I almost lost the feel to write that (points down) when my little cousin, previously known as Ling and currently registered in the San Mateo and Foster City School District as 'Nicole Yau', used her bloody cheap cooing voice to talk to the cat. Ugh.

My cat either sprained or or cracked his left front ankle. =_= Nicole noticed the limp first, and the way Byakko was not using his paw...first it was a limp, but it got to the point that it even hurts to walk on his other 3. Hissing may equal to the humans swearing; my cat tried his usual jump but bumped his injured side on accident, and hissed. ^^;; Anyways, it was sad, but one small soy sauce stir-fried shrimp [what we had tonight] easily fixed that. He even woke up to eat it ^^;;

On another note, I feel the need to comment on how weird that Makoto Dakota [?] is. He seems to be the athletic-stoic type in other classes, but he leaned much more to the attention-seeking type in Japanese...-_-;; He's now 'Goku*' in Japanese class, and a friend of his is 'Vegeta*'. [While Michael is 'Buta*'. Great. We now have a fox, a vegetable, and a pig in class.] More than half the class speaks fluent Japanese, but after seeing Daiki [is he the veggie? hmm] writing the date, I'm not sure if all of them are completly fluent, at least kanji-writing-wise. By the way, I'm in a Japanese 7-8, 9-10 mix class, only totaling around 16. Er, so the summary is that Japanese is now just plain weird. We've gotten to meet a (small) collection of different Japanese, we other races. Oh, and all of the Japanese-Fluent are male in sex. They tried to tell Jon to change his name to 'Orochimaru*'...and Jon was, for some strange reason, very indirect and polite about saying no...

Eep. Gotta find the teachers responsible for media and tech so I can get the password to work on the Robotics website.



Goku: Character in Dragonball series; the Monkey King.
Vegeta: Character in Dragonball series; is a VEGETAble.
Buta: means Pig. Plain and simple. [he has a dumb way to annoy teachers. It was neither funny nor witty]
Orochimaru: He's a legendary figure, along with Jiraiya and Tsunade; the creepy, evil snake-guy in NARUTO.

Momentum

The lack of updates was caused by a desperate need to finish summer homework.

Which, in the end, didn't happen.
Which, due to my inability to finish any of the English assignments, I failed my summer reading test today.


Things are never too hard once it becomes a habit, a routine.

A chaotic life only leads to confusion and results in frustration, depression, irritability, and lost of all hope.
My, that sounds dangerously like a certain pre-periodic hemorrhage symptom, doesn't it?

Ones they start rolling, they'll slowing gain momentum, only to stop by a tiny, occation (and relieving) speed bumps along the road, sprinkled here and there, before that momentum from getting out of control, before it becomes impossible to correct as it rolls into the gutter and polluted marshes, before it misses any small, rewarding scenic trails that tells you 'enjoy this—you'll never be able to experience it again', before it rushes through that road and to the end, ignoring any hitchhikers who just might make that trip more enjoyable, before you turn into a robot that lives only by momentum.

But there are always those big ones. The big holes that either forces that hard earned momentum to stop, or the ones that slows it down considerably.

Getting out of that hole and start on the road again never seems more difficult.

It never goes the way intended, but always, always, just happened to roll back into that moss-laid hole, shaded from that scorching and dry road, a sactuary to hide from reality.

With enough determination, though, it's not impossible to get that momentum going again.

Rolling, rolling.

That's why some of us don't feel the summer comming, although it's the last day of school, you know? - Momentum, a 40 minute piece of work.

Up until a few days ago, I had plans. Big plans. Perhaps not as big as taking over the world, but they were my dreams of my own future.

Now I seriously doubt I can ever acheive those dreams and wishes and plans without getting harmed some way. Not with my current desire for a slow-paced, relaxed life NOW, not with my current habits, not with my current damned arrogant attitude, not with my own lies that I had started to believe, not with my current IQ and EQ, not with my self-centered, highly self-monitoring thinking I have developed.

I, I, I.

Me. Me. Me.

No. In my own twisted little world, I really only care about me.

Anyone could tell from my blog. It's always I, I, I, always me, me, me. Nothing about my family, nothing about my community, nothing about HK, nothing about my friends.

Always ME and my obsessions. Only.

Warning. Me-zone. Me Only. There's no you in this.

I crave for attention.
Not that I'll ever admit out in public.



Being anti-social is a very selfish behavior, don't you know?

My Cat Byakko: Turned dull, tame, even depressed, I daresay.

I do not know if it's 3 weeks of getting shut inside or 3 weeks of HK-styled 'training' that my sadistic cousins gave him, but We've noticed that he has the look of a defeated, sick, depressed cat.

Symptom 1: Lack of Vocal Activity on our first day back
Byakko we suprisingly quiet on our first day back, but began to 'talk' again after a day or two of stimulation. This is a sign of much supressed vocals needing to excercise.

Symptom 2: Who's the Boss?
My smallest cousin is now not afraid to hold the cat, and in fact, the situation seemed to have reversed. Can't imagine what happened there, but I know for a fact that it involved excess annoyance from a 13-year-old who doesn't know how to interact with a pet. On a side note, I dissagree on the many nicknames others have given it, i.e. BB and BehBeeh in a strange hoarse voice =_=;;

Symptom 3: Avoidance of My Smallest Cousin
It's there even before the time of my trip, but now it's worse. Again, I feel deeply sorry for my cat.

Symptom 4: The Sadistic Tendencies of My Two Female-Gendered Cousins
Or I should say, 'The Ignorance of My Two Female-Gendered Cousins on Pet-handling'. Alice, the older, now 18, frightend the poor thing. She annoyed the cat to no end, thinking it's playing with it—but that's nothing compare to what the little one does to Byakko. Needless to say, Ling, the younger one, inherited her sister's annoyance, but would think every move the cat makes is trying to hurt her. She would also yell at the cat for small reasons, such as asking to go out or meow some sort of complaing, and not praise him. Also, She tended to poke or annoy the cat physically in some way. Can YOU live in that condition for 3 weeks and not get depressed? Kissing is not universal; The cat doesn't know of kissing=good job. She thinks everything a human does—no, not even— everything she has come to know of, such as screeching out her version of Byakko's nickname in its ear in baby talk, or kissing the cat as a reward, or prolonged hug, doesn't mean the same to a cat. But she doesn't know. She doesn't see. Ignores the body language, ignores the expression, ignores the complaints. She thinks she knows everything.

Like the way I think I know Everything.

Erk, gotta finish the AP Bio worksheets and PA Hist worksheets by tonight! Tomorrow will be essay, Scrap book, and Biomes! At this rate I should be able to only leave the final editing of the Essay on Sunday...and GAH! I must ask around if people know where my Aragon packet thing is! It should be here by now!



「オレ．．．オレは火影になるまで．．．ぜってしなねぇからよ死なねぇからよ!」
'Until the day that I become theh Hokage [PCBY: HO-kah-Geh! Not hook-cage! o____O;;;]...I won't die!!' - Naruto : NARUTO Ep 94

(sigh) I wanted another quote from ch 225, but it contained so much spoilers that I decided against it...maybe I should take a page out of D.co's book and do review/reflections on chapters/episodes...Her comic strips are hillarious...(ROF&LHGO [Rolling on the floor and laughing her guts out]) Go to her site! If you're not too hateful of homosexual content, follows the Manga, and knows a bit Japanese [or knows someone who's willing to translate it =)]

Whoa! 899?

Whoa. I'm number 899 on this blog. (sweat) It has been reloaded that many times already? Are people really that interested in me o_O;;?

Guess I must change the Alarm to 1000 ^^

So Contact me on 1000, whoever who got such!

The 2nd Day

Nyaaa! My 2nd day back from my 24 days of HK-China-ness! Hi!

Ah-hem, anyways. (cheers at the amount STUFF accumulated and her RMB 5 [ren min bei...or Yuen...the currency of China...I don't know how to type the symbol...] each PS2 game bootlegs.)

Since I don't really want to do my massive stack of Summer homework, I'll make a list of what I bought, by order of things as I see them!! XD For my own record oO;;

• Copic pens, 5 @ HKD $27 each


• Pilot Hi-Tec-c Pens, 7 @ HKD @12 each


• Numerous Erasers, 3 types, ranging from HKD $3.5-6 each


• A KamKam! [cable fix] @ HKD $30 each [later I saw it for 25...]


• Sony Ericsson Skin, Red, @...? [Gasp, the newest Ericsson i700 can record up to 45minutes of video...and mine is 2 generations old.]


• Cellphone trinklets, 4 @ HKD $15-20 each


• Shounen Jump, issues 26, 27, 33-36. 34 & 35 were bought in Japan for cover price [YEN 240], 26 in Commercial Press for HKD 15, the rest for HKD 22


erk. This is getting too detailed.


• Knowledge-related novel-type things, 3


• Dreamweaver, PHP, Flash, & Javascript reference books, 4 @ HKD 500 [Those things are heavy to walk around with oO;;;]


• a BT source booklet @ 35


• Naruto candy & figurines, 3 @ 20 each [Itachi, Naruto, & Kakashi! Venus (Previously known as Michelle) bought them too!]


• PS2 games, 5 @ RMB 5 each [Narutimet, .hack vol1, Kingdom Hearts, FFX-2, Bujingai]


• NEON GREEN CD case @ 9.9


• Jap-Chin dictionary @...?


• Book of sheet music @...?


• 12 Girls Band CD, 3 @ total of ~27? [They use traditional Chinese instruments to play light rock songs...not as good as with a rock background, but good enough ^^]


• Various Manga, 12 ranging from 28-30 each. [Especially noteworthy is the new one that I discovered, Forget-Me-Not. Nice artwork, the story cannot be read as a mystery, as it is intended, but as a romance. I still cannot understand why Forget Me Not, which does contain nude women and pubic hair, is not warned for 18+, but NARUTO (out of all things!) is...F.O.X wasn't even WORTH buying; her artwork got worse as her plot seems more obvious that it's copied (They are HK-nese mangakas)]


• UZUMAKI—Kishimoto Masashi artbook @ HKD 50 [I got the Japanese vers...The Taiwanese vers, as I later saw, only costed 40...but in Chinese...]


• Those loose-socks things that you see school girls wear in anime @ 10 [Hmm...where did the black ones go?]


• Konica Minolta Z3 [digital camera] @ 3400 [HEARTS! 12x Opt! 2-sec startup! And Functions to play with! And Video! Whee---!]


• Color comination chart-book [Hmm I still have to learn to use it...]


• Lead pencils [x3] and lead [x7]


• Straw-star-straws[The ones that you make with straws?] 150 straws @ total of 10


• Over HKD $200 worth of junk food


• 3 liters of Mongol Milk! @ total of 35.9 [Yum! I SERIOUS PAIN ON MY BACK to carry them back here though]


• Naruto Playing Cards, many @ ? [Ooh, Pretty pictures...I didn't get the Naruto & Sasuke one though =(]


• Manga-drawing paper


• Optical Mouse


• MANY! Adobe softwares, Sims, Ringtones, etc [bootlegs]

I Think that's it.

I GOT 2 SKETCHES OF NARU & ITA AND A FAT FROG KEYCHAIN FROM VENUS!(rabu rabu) I've got to get my homework done so I can work on her drawing of Ita.

OOh! And there's this quite new series on JUMP called D.Grey-Man. It's quite interesting, and the two main [?] characters could very well be acted out by Shindou Hikaru and Touya Akira from Hikaru no Go (haha).



「オレたち第七班でやってきたことは、全部何の意味も無かったのかよォ?!」
「いや...無意味じゃない...オレにとってお前は最も...親しいともになった...」
'Does all the things we did in Team 7 meaningless to you either?!'
'No...It's not meaningless...To me, you've become...my closest friend...' - NARUTO 225 :: [sobs] [sniff] Read the manga and you'll know why I'm sad...as Shiro had said, and I quote from the footnote from ch10 of Ookami to Kitsune no Monogatari, '…Is it just me, or does this dialogue sound like it came directly out of a doujinshi(fan comic)? (Kishimoto-sensei, so much fan service… ;;;;;;)' LoL. I somewhat agree..I seems more so from the way HE wrote it out...(sweat)

Anonymous: Hmm..? What do you mean? What does that have to do with a new dc? Anyways, you probably haven't noticed, but I use ImageShackto store my pictures. I'll probably make a gallery to link pictures from there...or something...Too bad ImageShack is too messy and would not give users a personal folders. Do people have a better, free picture storage site that isn't album-styled like greatjournal and yahoo are?

Rabu Rabu (ラブラブ): is really English for 'Love love', since Japanese doesn't have the 'v' sound.

And...I'm back! XD

I'm back! With lots of stuff to waste my time on, including a puurdy new digi camera (hearts).

Alright! Gotta start catching up on my 3-week's worth of downloading!



Anonymous: It's like Dead Journal. Well, the other one didn't intergrate as well as the blogger one can...I dunno, do people like the other one better?

HK post 3 of ?

I've been keeping a journal of sorts when I don't have computer access, and if I ever feel up to all that typing job after finishing my summer homework [which I have not done much in], I'll get those up =_=;;

Who was that who entered that 2nd comment in the last blog? NC? [er, Neon Clould, I mean...Not 'no comment' oO;;] Have I mentioned that I knew it was Charlie because it sounded like him?

Anyways, I got Narutimet along with 4 other PS2 games for 5 Yuen each [Whoo, cheapness of GuanZhou goods] and the mod-chip for 140 Yuen. But Charlie [ARGH! My friend's keyboard's 'e' doesn't work well], doesn't it have to be a DVD? Me no own DVD RW or DVD burner!

Er, what else..Ah, I'm 848 on my counter! Yay!

116 mails on Gmail; Gigi the penpal has not replied; Many games and computer programs just waiting for me to waste my time on ^^ Life is beautiful, isn't it?

Oh wait. I have summer homework, I am broke and going into negative figures, and must catch up on 3 week's worth of downloading when I get back. Damn.

I'm getting a pretty quick new Digital Camera! Yay!



Shopping list (items left to buy):
¤ DigiCam
¤ Jump vol 36-38 [which I hope to get on either the forteenth or fifteenth]
¤ Various [and numerous] Japanese candy and snacks

Sirius: No, the MTR does NOT get you 'pretty much anywhere'. It only gets you around Kowloon and KH Island. KCR goes all the way to the China border, passing through the New Territory, where I live.

The Other Person: I want to seeeeeee o__o;;