07 July 2005

Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater

Today was really great.
I feel a bit strange because we've just moved to Idaho and there's a weird smell in the house.

I'm so hardcore. Me and Buzz went to the mall today, and I stole a whole heap of stuff. I got a Good Charlotte CD, a couple of DVDs and some new boots. Buzz got caught, but he fought his way out, and then we stole some lady's car and smashed it into a phone booth.

Last night I had to go and pay Joshua's bail. He's such a jerk. He got arrested for punching the Walmart clerk in the face for refusing to sell him beer. He's only 16!

I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.

I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and a healthy imagination.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

Type something here.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this poem I wrote. It's about my friend Robert, who has bipolar disorder. Just like me. And Heidi.

Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey

9 comments:

  1. That Joshua... *Shakes head.*


    Something's weird with your blog. That Innocence one only says it has "3 comments" but when you click on it, it clearly has four... The fourth one being MINE... And it deleted my other comment. For shame. But now i'm not sure i want to repost it because Elton made long comments. T_T;;;

    Why is this a pop-up now? @_@

    ReplyDelete
  2. Blogspot clearly wants to make your life miserable because it knows thats what Livejournal users like.

    The generator is lame. It takes preset paragraphs and strings them together at random. Try Scott Pakin's generator, it's like comparing a really nice apple to a really crappy orange.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nvm, it's not even random, it's based on selection. That's not a generator, thats a typing reduction convenience.

    http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

    ReplyDelete
  4. It will indubitably surprise some people to hear me say this, but Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's jaundiced fibs induce paralysis of the cerebrum. Let us note first of all that Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's cause is not glorious. It is not wonderful. It is not good. Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater can't attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could require religious services around the world to begin with "Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater is great; Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater is good; we thank Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater for our daily food". I indeed feel that Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. It obviously has none, or it wouldn't numb the public to the phallocentrism and injustice in mainstream politics. For reasons which I will adumbrate presently, a central point of Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's belief systems is the notion that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. Perhaps it should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think it'd find that its precepts were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's secret passion is to lay waste to the environment. For shame!

    (Yes, this, of itself, is prima facie evidence that Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's animadversions smack of colonialism, but that's a different story.) Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater is absolutely determined to believe that it is known for its sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. Did Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater get dropped on its head when it was young, or did it take massive doses of drugs to believe that it has achieved sainthood? I would venture the answer has something to do with scapegoatism. To elaborate, in order to solve the big problems with it, we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must direct your attention in some detail to the vast and irreparable calamity brought upon us by Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater. How many of Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's expositors are content to sit around doing absolutely nothing to contribute to the world around them? I'd hazard to guess that the number is pretty high. The whole premise of Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's manuscripts is false, and its arguments are specious at best.

    Many experts now believe that of all of Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "Profits come before people." I don't know where it came up with this, but its statement is dead wrong. The baneful nature of Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's declamations is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify.

    Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater should hide its head in shame before the judgment of future generations, whose tongue it will no longer be possible to stop and which, therefore, will say what today all of us know to be true: Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater doesn't want us to put the kibosh on its inclinations. It would rather we settle for the meatless bone of incendiarism. I have to laugh when Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater says that the purpose of life is self-gratification. Where in the world did it get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but it has, on a number of occasions, expressed a desire to judge people by the color of their skin while ignoring the content of their character. On all of these occasions, I submitted to the advice of my friends, who assured me that when I say that it uses the word "literally" when it means "metaphorically", this does not, I repeat, does not mean that it is beyond reproach. This is a common fallacy held by slovenly freaks of nature. If we can understand what has caused the current plague of foul-mouthed, depraved egotists, I believe that we can then carve solutions that are neither headlong nor aberrant. I am shocked and angered by Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's egocentric improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. In this land which has befriended pathological racketeers, Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater has conspired, plotted, undermined, prostituted, and corrupted, and -- hiding to this hour behind the braver screen of pathetic rabble-rousers -- dares to contrive and scheme the death of every principle that has protected it.

    There is something grievously wrong with those obdurate dummkopfs who violate values so important to our sense of community. Shame on the lot of them! Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater is more adept at hidden mind control and its techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. Let me conclude by saying that we who want to seek liberty, equality, and fraternity will not rest until we do.

    ReplyDelete
  5. L: Oh, I remember that...For one, Gregor's semi-automatic livejournal updater is overused. And it's too long. A..and it's a complaint, not a journal entry! (Perfect for comments though, LoL)

    E: I did try to move to Idaho, but the citizens of Idaho unanimously kicked me out, something about my Bipolar disorder and fangirl tendencies...I saw one of my *potential neighbor* trip and fall because someone else wanted to throw a tomato at me...does that count?

    Needless to say, my proclaimed move to Idaho is just to satisfy my internal urge to claim that I've been to the great nowhere =(

    A: I know. I should've given him a homily afterwards, but we went to steal chickens instead.

    There IS something really weird with my blog. The font, for one, lost its style sheet setting for some reason, and I can't highlight names in the comments...they jump to a random spot. I'm working on a new layout, hopefully one that will be kept simple (with tables instead of the pure absolute positioning hell[textbox] I went through) and have way less bugs...><;;;;;

    No, repost it! (Is an advice whore) =D

    Ah, yes, because I changed the setting to such. Is it inconvenient to have a popup instead?

    (I think the language of the LJ communities is catching on, LoL)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Catching on indeed.
    I listen to Linkin Park. The world hates me. Nobody understands me. Wah wah wah. FRIENDS ONLY!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I resent your last comment, L. Even as a joke =p

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well, that is the livejournal I know. And all I know comes from somethingawful. That might explain it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And it really isn't overused, it just seems that way because it has such a long name.

    ReplyDelete