The topic seems like some HunterxHunter episode name.
I: the way my mother talks to me then completely turns into a different person when talking to my cat disgusts me.
I: (i know it's because I demand attention, but i don't care. at least i want to have the utmost care and attention from one person.)
I: i should be talking on the blog instead
Amy: LoL if you want :)
Amy: i'm still here. waiting for brother to finish what he's doing :)
I: heh.
Amy: but yeah, i think i kinda know where you're coming from... parents are strange creatures TT;
Amy: ... i want my keys back. :[
I: i don't know...both have been weird lately...unfriendly atmosphere, as if.
I: aw
I: (pat pat)
Amy: i could very sneakily probably take them back now but eh i guess i won't.
Amy: LoL thanks
Amy: hm? both your parents to you?
I: everyone to everyone.
Amy: or each other? or EVERYONE? LoL
Amy: ahh
I: ex me to grandma and vice versa
Amy: all that time of the month?
Amy: *nod*
I: LoL. include grandma AND father?!
I: LOL
Amy: hehehehe
Amy: ^^
I: and i'm too friggin tense and worried and tired to confront them to it.
I: I need to yell at them though.
Amy: :(
Yeah. Fuck. I don't know what happened to our goddamn relationships between family members. First there's this thing with Father and Grandmother. F (Father) dislikes G (Grandmother) because she isn't acting in her most active, aware self, G is not happy here because of the attitude F gives her (however F says that G's giving attitude to F, this is what I saw and infer with my own eyes) and because our food is not salty enough (G thinks F is doing this on purpose). F has been on a bad mood for quite some time and hasn't quite recovered to his usual self. It fluctuates from bad to worse. F is impatient towards G, I (B) yells at F, F says it's because he doesn't care anymore. I don't like his 'not caring' if it also means bad attitude. Mother (M) and F argued over something this morning, but when B asked F (in an objective vioce, no less), F told B to ask M. Why won't F just give B a fucking straight answer?! He has been doing that quite a lot lately. Maybe it's the prostate thing Ms.Ward talked about. But I think F is still too young for that. Close, but still not quite, I would like to believe.
F & B's relationships have been tense since she got a 1970 in SAT I. No, it went further than that, but I don't feel like digging up old stuff again. BTW, B got 2040 the second time. Dropped 30 in writing (but same essay score), raised 60 and 40 on Critical Reading and Math respectively. B has been on edge and stressed (though talking to her or seeing her would not tell you that she is) and frigging tired since forever, and especially so during this last week or so. AP projects, apparently. Her hand has been shaking more these days too, plainly visible now. It frightens her. So B has been on edge, and had barely been able to control herself from swearing in flying colors to M & F. There were times when B wants to scream at G for bothering her at the worst possible moments too, but not nearly as often as the other case. B, in her little self-centered world, is thinking that her parents are caring less...but caring more. Less on her friggin useless feelings and stress and emotional fluctuations (it's always B's fault anyways) and more on her SAT failures. Just this one year, spend time to do more math is what M hangs on her mouth whenever B begins to talk about her more colorful times, usually not school related, AND GODDAMN IT, DOES SHE WANT B TO SAY HOW BLOODY STRESSFUL IS IT TO DEAL WITH SCHOOL AND CLUBS AND RESPONSIBILITIES AND HOBBIES AT THE SAME FRIGGIN TIME AND STILL EXCELL IN EVERYTHING?! B is not a genius, nor is she obsessed with academics, nor is she hard working. And she wants to beg F & M to stop thinking their daughter is able to do all that and still get all As and not to nag her, but it will break her heart to say that. Really, B doesn't want F & M to worry. She hates to worry people.
It's getting late, and B still has things to do. B wants to rant more and vent her anger and frustration and stress and everything that she has been bottling up and smiling, grinning, joking, laughing through out. OUT.
B wants to cry and scream.
Hm. If you don't let it out somehow, all that negativity will get bottled up inside and you'll get screwed up like me. Best to find some way to do it without pissing your parents off though. Crying/screaming/kicking walls is probably the least productive way to deal with it, although probably the easiest and one of the most immediately satisfying.
ReplyDeleteBeing unable to live up to people's expectations is essentially unavoidable. Probably part of "Chinese culture." You don't have to let them down if you know how to twist them properly (though my methods would admittedly be ineffective for people whose situations are that far from my own). And you don't have to be "a genius," either. Just because anime isn't real doesn't mean it's ok to spend hundreds of hours watching Naruto and not gain anything from it. You'd think that if you learn anything from it, it's that you don't have to be a genius to do well, and even geniuses have their own problems (all too true).
Yeah, a bit corny, but honestly, you're supposed to enjoy being able to relate to characters who share your own problems/experiences, right? So relate, and at worst, school will be over soon, right?
L is amused by E's imitation of B's speech mannerisms, but finds it too tiresome to use for more than one sentence himself.
ReplyDeleteIt's not really inevitable :/
The history channel would probably be worth watching if they were just satisfied to stay within their special niche, but they aren't. Shows like Mail Call and the XY Factor are rather lame attempts to get more of a mainstream audience, but it never worked, and it just makes them look silly. And there aren't any more history classes to be helped at this point.
Whoa Whoa WHOA! Did Larry just admit that 1) he does have problems and 2) That he's cried/screamed/kicked walls to relieve stress? o_O Larry is showing emotion!! :P
ReplyDeleteThat aside, you shouldn't worry too much, just one more year and you can get out of the house. Man.. so awesome ^_^. Just put up with them for another year and you're off to college. I mean, they can only bitch about your grades IF you show them your grades and they can't even bitch at you very well if you're not at home. So yea, things will work out. Do a few practice SATs if that's bothering you? Just getting to know the format of the test will help you convey your knowledge to the graders.
PS.I like how you went from first person to third person.
Going from first to third person makes things more detached/detachable. Separating yourself from "it" can make it easier to talk about and/or look at it somewhat more objectively.
ReplyDeleteA loves B.
*ha-to*
Ha, no. If you read carefully, you'll see that I didn't even recommend it to her. I said that I keep all my problems bottled up inside. That's why I'm so screwed up.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am 100% sure that nobody I know has EVER heard me yell, scream, or even swear in anger/frustration. I just don't; you should know that by now.
Jeff, you don't show your parents your grades? I thought that since your cousin and sister already went to Davis, they'd know how their notification system works by now?
And I hear yoga can be a good way to relieve strees ;)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wimp.com/yoga/
ROFL... Stupid Yoga thing. I do tell my parents my grades, but they don't know how it works. I don't think they actively check grades or anything. Like they didn't know about my sister's streak of umm. subpar grades till afterwards when my sister told them(she had better grades at the time)
ReplyDelete