About Change and Fakeness. (and finally getting some sleep)

I woke not half an hour ago, haven't washed or eaten. Got a glorious twelve hours of sleep. Finally. These heavy curtains are wonderful.

This is what I spent my half hour on.
Hikaruyuki: The Fantasy

First, if her parents and mentors really did tell her what she relayed, then I have to disagree with them. "...Pick out all of the imperfections you've discovered about yourself ever since freshman year of high school, throw them away, and present a new 'you' to the world"? Not only is throwing out an imperfection more difficult than it sounds, "throwing out" is not quite the right world, isnt it? It sounds...so absolute. As if imperfections are just mud on your face that merely take some water and soap to clean. Yes, strive to be the perfect human who's the most caring, most humble, most friendly, most out-going, most reflective, most intelligent, most accepting, most thoughtful, most humourous, most...!

It doesn't sound natural.

I think...imperfections are like stains on an unbleached cotton t-shirt. The stain is what distinguishes one person from the next. You can be disgusted with it, but if it doesn't wash out (and it's not easy to, the longer you've had that stain), then what? Either try again and again until it fades to something unnoticible, dye the whole shirt into a different color to cover that ugly thing up, or accept it, maybe decorating and changing it into something of merit, and wear it with pride. Some people ignore it (or never even notice it) and probably more would just dye the whole shirt. Dyed shirts are not natural-looking. The other options take more energy, more time. Bleached shirts...well, yes, the stain is gone, but you look blindingly bright and untouchable. You'll probably be less touchable, too, afraid of getting any imperfect stains...

Speaking of shirts, I need to do laundry this weekend or soon.

"I'd like to go back to when I still had an identity. At least back then, I didn't feel like I was playing myself."
Identity, I thought, is who you think you are? Won't you always have an identity, which, in this case, only means that you don't like the mold you're trying to fit into?

I commented, but I'm a little afraid of any backlash. I don't know her well, or even in person, so maybe I shouldn't be saying anything. I often think that despite some of our similarities (that's how I started contacting her), we live in very different environments and have very different views...at least in the realm of social life. Correction: I have a different social life than most people.


tag "mind discovery," tag "philosophy," tag "weltanschauung," or others?