Sometimes, there are things that must be done, despite any unwillingness.
Taking 2 bloody hours of public transportation to Northwest of downtown Sacramento, 18 miles away, is one of them.
I know I can get home in that time, even, but going home to an empty house won't fucking help. Phone will still be dead, the indirect dealers will still push the responsibility around, the Verison folks will still not fix anything, and I still won't know whether the phone will work until I come back. At least, in here, I can get some sympathy points for being young, away from home and convenient transportation. Maybe.
I don't like the number of unknown variable in this. I don't like how stranded and helpless I may become if I get lost.
Yes I'm fucking scared of getting lost alone. Yes I'm scared of not having backup, not having support. Yes I'm still a very dependent child with no hope of "moving out" any time soon.
But this is only the end of the second week. Only the end of first week of instruction. Maybe I won't feel like I'm in camp in a bit. Maybe I'll feel more involvement in a while. Maybe I'll feel more comfortable outside our room soon. Maybe...
I'm ill-adapted to change.
Sounds like someone had a rough day. Or weekend. Or...something.
ReplyDeleteSo. Big trip all on your own, huh. Afraid of getting lost and all that, eh? But you didn't, right? Things turned out okay in the end, didn't they? At least, I hope they did. Can't really call to see how you're doing, can I? =D
But you can call me. You have my number, I hope? And a dorm phone? Or home phone? Or a public phone?
You'll get used to the whole dorm college life living on your own in a shack with the long school hours and candy bar diet. I know you will, because..well. You're you!
And when I say this, it's because I think that I know you well enough to know that you're definitely strong enough to handle the challenges that you've been facing/are going to face. But of course, there's always Amy to help you out. That's what roommates/friends are for, after all.
And me, even though I'm miles away. But telephones and internet connections are beautiful things, aren't they?
And other people, even though it seems like they're not there. They're there in SPIRIT. Or..something cliche like that. You get the idea.
So cheer up. Tomorrow's going to be a bright new day, and things are going to be just fine, and you'll be fine, and we'll be fine, and your cat will be fine, and my raccoon will be fine, and everything will be all good.
And I'm sorry this wasn't more motivationally inspirational and all that. But then again I never was any good at getting you to do anything/getting you to believe you could do much. If you know what I mean. Or something like that. But things really will be okay. Trust! Be happy! ^^
Wow Eric, that was really...sappy.
ReplyDeleteAnd my comment is really...late. I wrote something here before, but I guess it didn't update. It's outdated now.