'this is how i feel...'

'this is how i feel. this is how i feel in terms of how i feel about how i'm not saying how i feel because i feel that i'm not able to say how i feel!'
Incredibly confusing but awesome, as taken from Amy's DeadJournal On 20041122.

In that entry she also asked to pick one sense to give up...One year ago I would've said smell...But I realized that taste is useless without smell, as taste was my first to keep. Not seeing would be difficult, just as touch is essential. I love colors and not dropping things too much. Last is giving up sound. It seems to be my last priority and logically, I should pick the said sense as my choice, but though our world is overflowing with noise and ugly sounds, it is the fastest way of communicating and the world will be much more unfeeling without sound...And music...

So, what would others choose? [To gather information for Amy ^^]

Edit, about 15 seconds after initial post: Upon reading some of the Xanga entrees, a recurring thought popped into my head: So many people post for and to an audience, almost as if they expect someone to read their entrees!

Edit, about 180 seconds after second post: But then again, Xanga has this 'prop' system, as I was reminded by Gabocow's Thanksgiving Entry [or more specificly, his random question], which promotes censoring of personal, radical opinions...what DO the eProps do other than site promotion...which is only supporting, glorifying, and advertising conformity anyways?!



'this is how i feel. this is how i feel in terms of how i feel about how i'm not saying how i feel because i feel that i'm not able to say how i feel!' - Amy's DeadJournal : Entry 20041122

So Much To Do, So Little Time To Waste

I always complain about the lack of time...but all I do is waste time if I get any, in truth.

Anyways, to the point. I said I was going to work on the Robotics Website...and I did. Just not to the point that anyone would understand it to be. >_>;;

And my "To Rant" List ever-grows...

Hmm...I want to quote a Sasuke, as I promised before...but...not now. o_O;;

NARUTO Episode 109

Now that I've got the comments out of my way, I can rant to my hearts desire! (It's not like anything was holding you back, stupid.) So anyway, here I shiver as I sit in the cold at this unholy hour of after 01:00, killing my kidneys and liver and braincells, not caring about the mountain of homework I have to do tomorrow.

A very SasuSaku episode indeed, but I'm not really complaining. This part of the series is meant for understanding and realizing the love that Sakura has is much deeper than the crush that Naruto has over her. There are some flashback scenes not present in the manga, which I thought were very nice and cute. Sakura got a bit self-centric towards the end of her dialogue, but that's Kishimoto's fault. I personally think Sakura would be more persuasive if she mentioned Naruto (!!) and Kakashi also, since I don't believe Sasuke saw Sakura as any more than a close teammate. This contrasts sharply with the later Sakura, ne.

Sasuke was paid a lot of attention in this episode—and rightfully so because he's a bishie. It can be seen by the quality he's drawn in, in oppose to Naruto, who's a relatively minor character in this episode. As I've said to Csrjjsmp, they're 12/13, and what both Naruto and Sasuke went and is going through is nothing they deserve. They both really have the right to bitch. I agree that Sasuke is morally twisted, as a result of the massacre, his brother's last words to him, and the lack of other influences during his up-bringing, therefore justifying the reason of his betrayal. Nonetheless I screamed in my head [because I would disturb the house at this ungodly hour and thus be discovered to still be up at 01:00] and watched the episode clutching the sheets I will change when I decide to sleep and almost cried. I will definately steal a quote from this episode's Sasuke to be placed at the end of this entry...just sometime later o__O;; Of course, I was, unsuprisingly, awed by Sasuke's acrobat skills. Although the moves were seen before, I still think they're chou-kakkoi*!! I love how they drew Sasuke too...heheheee, especially the rush of emotions that Sasuke was unable to retain in this episode (hearts) (sigh) It's just as heartbroken as it was when I read the manga to see Sasuke flipping the framed picture down...as if he tried convincing himself that leaving is his goal and reason for existance...

Erm, I think my Sasu-fangirl side is overflowing a bit...thus, as a change of pace:
The trust that Naruto had in Sasuke was really pure. It wasn't to make Sakura feel better. In fact, Naruto acknowledges Sasuke's physical strength, yet overestimated Sasuke's mental strength—the kind of strength Naruto's character posess. This will really be reflected later, as Naruto was betrayed...his closest friend and rival...(loss of words) .____.

Overall reaction of this episode: (wai~kakkoi Sasuke!)(guuu)(cries)(=\)(kakkoi Sasuke...) <--(what the heck?!)

Needless to say, I'm quite please with this episode...I'm so overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions that I can't even express them ^^ (geez, you don't get emotional in real life but cry over shounen manga?) <-- this will be connected to Kishimoto-sensei worshipping I'll be doing in the next entry...or the entry after...or even after that...but definately WILL be doing. I love Kishimoto-sensei. Really. o__O;;

This is quite biased towards SasuNaru fans, if it wasn't clear before, LoL.

I have much more to rant about, and topics are even written down so I don't forget...but my fingers are frozen on top of the keyboard and under the slightly open window, and while I'm not that tired, I need the energy to wake up early to do homework tomorrow. (yay! Your conscience is back!) Whoa. it's 02:54, a parent of mine just went to the bathroom, but didn't tell me to sleep...oh never mind.



Quote later, definately.

*Chou-kakkoi: composed of chou, meaning 'super', and kakkoi, meaning 'cool'.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Saw my first episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy today. Perhaps this episode that I chanced upon is not of the best, but it left a bit of a bad taste. Those five guys, while I think they're trying quite hard to stay within the stereotype homosexual, are very awesome at their jobs ^^ I wanted that seven- or eight-foot tall bookcase along with that ladder for myself, as well as that tall celing *_*!!



Wow. I have fans, LoL.
Kittie: eh, it's not much...it's only on Standard. Besides, as I've said, it was only because I was high on adrenaline/epinephrine after doing the Kind Lady Interlude Mix—which, by the way, I like a lot. I'll never accomplish such feat again! ((sarcasm drips) oh woe!) At least before bishies* takes over our world ^^

Csrjjsmp: Yes! As in that theme song! It's the movie version though, so it doesn't sound quite as bad. Really. Thanks for supporting non-censoring! If you have forgotten, Naruto-tachi** are in their pre-teens. 12 and 13. No child should go through what they have gone through...in my opinion, I think they have a right to bitch and act immature; they're children! No, I don't think the Moonchild concept is flawed either...in fact, I want to see how much plot and bad acting and bishies that much has to offer ^^ Bah, what of a whimpy virus?

GreatGodIvan: Audience? You do mean fans, right? =D (...) Well...bah, what of we are to judge if conformity is bad or no? The Administration? What's that?


*Bishie(s): Shortened word for Bishounen, meaning literally 'pretty boy'.
**-tachi: plural. So if watashi means 'I' [which it does], then watashi-tachi means 'We'. Can be used on other [living] things like cats and children [that can be personified]!

VIRUS ADVISORY: W32/Sober.j@MM - Medium Risk

From McAfee Dispatch:

FROM: Varies (forged addresses taken from infected system)
SUBJECT: Example: FwD: illegal signs in your email
BODY: Example: More info about--GZIP--under: wwwgzip.org
ATTACHMENT: Examples: mail.4052.scr, verisign.2095.pif,
re_mail8831.bat

--> How do I know if I've been infected?

Fake error messages displayed. Increased network traffic on
TCP port 37. Alerts from a desktop firewall (if installed)
that a new application is trying to access the Internet.

--> How do I find out more?

View details about W32/Sober.j@MM here.
http://us.mcafee.com/root/campaign.asp?cid=12696

Scattered Thoughts: Just Because I Don't Want to Do English...

I have 74 pageviews on my DeviantArt Page. How?

I have amazing pictures...I'll upload them someday and awe everyone with them...

There's a movie called Moonchild...starred by Gackt and Hyde. Their selling point is pretty guys o___O;

There are good reasons why Gackt is so...popular. Prettier than 75% or more of the female population, androgenous enough to be able to look both feminine and masculine [with the help of makeup], nice singing voice, not afraid of heavy makeup, and will wear anything, i.e. samuri outfits to kimono to suits to lace to fishnets and very short leather shorts to fur to nothing o_______O;

Speaking of pretty males, I have this picture, taken from Shiro's eGroup, of a Japanese Kinomoto Sakura, from Card Captor Sakura, cosplayer. How should I say this...he looks very pretty. Yes. A HE. He's very cute and pretty *_*

Hmm...I definately wanna cosplay this year...

(rants)
(rants)
(rants)

NARUTO Episode 108

Hmm...I have no Fangirl Rantings on this episode, save for a few thoughts here and there, which I will keep to myself for the sake of keeping me and a few others from insanity. Either way, generally I have no complaints or praises to attach to this episode. Though the conversation between Jiraiya and Kakashi seems a bit strange, as it takes place right next to Naruto [deviation from manga], the producers made that up by leaving Sasuke out on the tree for the whole day, or, at least, until the dark settled. This episode strenghtened my love for Sasuke and Naruto...haha.

I just noticed how I decided to censor thoughts once I discovered that I have an audience. THE POWER OF CONFORMITY AND SOCIAL PRESSURES!



「何なら今から．．．アナタの一番大事な人下を殺してやろうか？」「マァ、そうしてもらっでもけっこだわなぁ．．．生憎、オレには、一人でもそんな奴はいないんだよ。モゥ、みんな殺されてる。」('Nani nara ima kara...anata no ichiban daijina ninge(?) wo koroshite yarou ka?''Maa, soushidemo rattemo(?) kekko da wa naa...Ainiku ore niwa, hitori mo sona yatsu wa inain da yo. Mou, minna korosareteru.')
'Then how about it? Should I kill the most important person to you right now?' 'Well, I won't mind if you do. Unfortunately, I no longer have anybody important to me...They've all been killed already.' - Uchiha, Sasuke & Hatake, Kakashi : NARUTO Episode 108 :: Ah, another famous kakashi quote, just as famous as 'I got lost on the road of life today'. Hrm, I skipped the second part of Sasuke's dialogue because an angry, growling Non-Tan [Sugiyama, Noriaki, the seiyuu of Sasuke] is too hard to decipher Japanese from ^^ Inoue, kazuhiko in Kakashi-talk is hard to figure out too—he mushes words up. When he said 'Ainiku' [unfortunately], I thought he said 'aifu' [between-season wear]...I would've never known why kakashi tied Sasuke to a tree then talked about autumn fashion if it weren't for Inane and ANBU-AnimeOne translations...LoL.

Music: Pray - Wish//Hunter x Hunter : OVA Greed Island Opening

Csrjjsmp: Whoa. I don't even want to know how far into the gutter you are with that 'safe' comment. As for my illogical thinking, it has to do with some odd complex that I have, probably.

GreatGodIvan: 'it's.... "What's in a name?" (the name probably came from korea, and... well, you can logic through that)' <-- I don't get it at all...LoL on the 'lot' thing...Yeah! I have tons of parking lots! Yay! (ignore her)

Kittie: Yeah, whatever Csrjjsmp said...it's in Scraps. But shall we plan this meeting beforehand then?

What's Up?

I have been reviving my Deviant Art account by adding a lot, and I mean a lot, of favorites and watches today. Though it's only around three hours of DA-surfing, my list of Deviant Watches and favorites grew from a few to the long list I have now. I gawk and worship at the various artists.

Staring so much at pretty art makes my fingers itch to draw...

And having finished my Bio study guide on Friday [out of being forced to do so, not that such force is bad], I seem to think I have all the time in the world. Which reminds me...I still have so much stuff planned to accomplish, but all that I seem to do is deviate [pun semi-intended].

I think I'm still high from the epinephrine/adrenaline rush after playing Kind Lady Interlude mix [B!]...which enabled me to get an AA in BreakDown on standard! yay! Then I tried BreakDown in Heavy...it was hard, but very fun. Needless to say though, I died 1/3 way of the song. The Challenges in Max2 is fun—

I've also been listening to my long-abandoned songs in my HDD~ Having to relisten to Pokemon theme song, Yuzurenai Negai, Can't Help Falling in Love, Pale Ale, etc is great; I need the beats during the weekend ^^

That's it for now, I think—there will be more later as I will be watching NARUTO episode 108 now (heart) and I'll reply to my sudden explosion of comments! Yay!

Happy Pocky Day?

Hrm. IT seems like in Korea there's something called Pocky Day, which is something akin to Valentines Day, only more specific—Pocky (Pepero) is given instead of chocolate...And when I searched 'pocky day' on Google image, the 5th image listed are condoms. With SafeSearch on too... -_-;;

(Gasp) I have uploaded my first art onto my DeviantArt.com account! The art was so crappy that I don't mind uploading it. ^^;;

I have been...lazy with blogging.

I did it!

After close to one-hundred hours of toiling and training, I've finally (sobs) finished Final Fantasy X. Yes, it took me 100 hours. What can I say? This is the first RPG game [or any game, for that matter] I've completed without loosing much interest~! I'm so sad now though ;_; And being the crazy child I am, I was screaming at the screen durning the last few battles. 'Kyaa—I'm so scared!' 'Nooo~ you caaaaan't!' '(sniff) Bye-bye...' All the while I tried to explain the story and battle system to my father, who suddenly started watching me play. And at the very end, I pointed at the TV and screamed, 'HEEEEEEEEY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAAAAAAAT?!'

Oh well, now I can start FFX-2 now!

Wow. What utterly disgusting sentences those are. o________O;

Anyhow, yay!



'All that we see or seem// is but a dream within a dream' - Poe

NARUTO Chapter 238 & My Prize From Siliconera.com

Yay! My Prize arrived today, and I didn't discover it until I went to pat my kitty. After five minutes of tearing at the very secure-ly sealed cardboard box and rumaging through packing peanuts, I'm glad to say I'm quite pleased with my prize. I got a navy Konoha Hitai-ate, one black Hitai-ate, four small figurines—Jiraiya, Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi—, and a set of Itachi jewelry (heart)

I played with the hitai-ate and wore the Itachi necklace thing while giggling and muttering, 'So silly. This is so silly. I am so silly.'

(squeals) <--(baka fangirl)

Er. Yeah.

NARUTO 238! How early!
Apparently Kishimoto-sensei decides to move the plot [and time] forward to three months later when everyone has healed and happy. Even Neji! Glad you can smile and get along with your Hinata-sama and Hiashi-sama now! Eww, Sasuke! You're wearing one of those Orochi-robes! Take it off! O____O;; And get your sickly thoughts away from Sasuke-kun, Orochi! (you mean yourself, PC) Lookie! Sakura took her hitai-ate off! Akamaru is so cute chasing a butterfly~ (fell completely into the reign of fangirlism. Resistance is futile.)

I find Kabuto's reaction to Sasuke's Chakra interesting. He seems surprised at the overwhelming hatred on Sasuke's part? Hmm...Interesting...Sakura can revive a dead fish now (LoL) Lee...erm, out-youth-ed his sensei, LoL. Interesting how Naruto, out of all the kage, including Sandaime, who he's the closest to, he reached to Yondaime, saying, 'look.' [erm, not quite exactly, but close enough o__O;;] Also, Kishimoto seems to have designed three, potentially four more Akatsuki members, in addition to the Fly-Trap Akatsuki member at the end of the Sasu-Naru fight. One of them talks funny...always using 'un' at the end of sentences...Lastly, the last page of 238 said 'First Part, End.' What does Kishimoto-sensei mean by that?!

No NARUTO next week. But there will be a Kakashi Gaiden the week after! Yay! ^^;; I wonder. About Kakashi's past, the reason he wears a mask, about Obito, he takes off his mask, or just his usual perverted life?

Yay—We've Got Our Tenth and FanimeCon Extended Deadline!

Last night Amy called with good news—the forty dollar deadline for FanimeCon2k5 will be extended to the end of November! That means we get another 3 meetings to prepare for it! (cheers) We could squeeze in a 4th meeting as an emergency, since Novemver 20th is a Tuesday, but it's better to give us officers a week to do paper...er, I mean, administration work.

At Lunch of this fateful day, the tenth, and hopefully not our final, member of our group is assembled! [I think?]

Let's see: the group contains 2 seniors [Jessica, Patrick], 3 Juniors [Me, Amy, Grant], and 5 Freshmen [Andrea, Brian, Keith, +2 friends] Yay!

Wh00T! I BS-ed my Ch 15-16 History Chapter Tests Essay!

Whee! No early starts this week!

I got enough sleep this weekend! [Kind of sort of pretty much not really but yeah]



「賢いってのがそういうことなら．．．オレは一生バカでいい．．．」
Kashikoi tte noga sou iu koto nara...ora wa isshou baka de ii...
"If that is what it means to be wise...I will be fine being an idiot my whole life..." - Uzumaki, Naruto//NARUTO Ch237 :: Yes, it's a tad wordy, but it's the best I can do with limited English and Japanese knowledge...

Music: Daughter of the Great Summoner Warrior - //Final Fantasy X : Final Fantasy X Soundtrack, Disc 1, #25

csrjjsmp: Yeah. And they did a crappy job at trying to make it connect too. Yay! All caught up! Is the Primer funny? I'll get around to it...someday...I remember starting it, but lost interest in it for reasons I cannot recall...Well, as for the pencil thing, good erasers unfortunately don't come on top of pencils. That Calamari guy: don't believe him...he's good as a writer, though childish. I began reading his writing with 'it's a thankless job'. so yeah...