I'm really tired of playing guessing games with slight hints between words and actions that is really telling me, "I want [this]!" or "I don't like [this]!" and try to be "polite." This case is especially true when the said person is supposed to "act like family" or some other shit like that. (And it irritates me to no end that I am complaining around a corner.)
Close family are not supposed to act like friggin guests and be embarassed about asking for something! Sure, some habits and rules may differ from one person to the next, but it's really irritating when her most recent stay is more than half a year and counting and this is her fourth time living in this house and I grew up with her.
Mother said it's the way Hong Kong people act, afraid of asking for help and thus showing weakness. The emmense and overbearing competition and the rapidness of gossip going around because of the lack of personal space, apparently. Just like the "Hong Kong-ese" way of speaking god forbidden LAZY CANTONESE, I am ashamed of these people. Afterall, I do still identify myself as a Hong Kong person. I've seen so many things wrong with Hong Kong inhabitans as a whole that I worry for myself that there are some irritating habits embedded in me that I yet have to identify.
I realy want to say "fuck their stupid way to speaking and their fragile esteem."
It saddens me that I can't change what has creating them as a whole for the majority, if not their whole, lives. Saying I very much desire to help them is a little over the top, but if they don't put their guards up so high and soild, I'd be happy to help. Of course, they will eventually find their way and settle and be accustomed to the (dull) life (without a car), but when their opportunities could be so much greater and their lives much more accomplishing yet they abandon that for an easy road that leads to where the McDonald-workers go, it pains me.
It hurts because it's like offering food to a deathly starving (it doesn't quite make sense but whatever) person who refuses it because of some stupid reason like pride or something.
Hah. I always loose the steam and the momentum to complain and rant after I shower. This is no exception. Usually because I would think enough in the bathroom that I don't feel the need to repeat myself.
Most Chinese are like that, not just Hongers. And actually most other East Asians as well (and perhaps the Russians, though that's just hearsay). Even if you say that being proud and unwilling to admit weakness by asking for help is stupid, that's the result of hundreds/thousands of years of cultural indoctrination.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, some people don't even hint, and get extremely offended when anyone offers to help. I'm sure you've seen this behavior as well. But really, if you do help them, and then as a result they feel that they've lost their dignity or their sense of accomplishment, then they're not satisfied even if whatever problem it is is gone, and maybe worse off than if they just had to suffer. Fundamental quirks of personality like that are hard to change, and you're probably better off just letting them do things the way they want.
You don't need to worry about a McDonalds career or anything. Not for most Chinese people, who are either intelligent and hardworking enough to succeed or have connections to people who are and can get them sinecures :/