A Certain clearance Clarence Incident.

I feel that I should write this down. Finally I've had it with the not-so-subtle hints and asked Clarence about the rose and the calls through email. He responded with a call asking whether a talk on the phone or meet sometime should be in order. Thus we met after school today. (By the way, this is a LOT more direct than our actual conversation, which was more like walking around the subject in circles than not...) But on the way down to Aragon Boulevard, he just wouldn't...admit to anything...which was frustrating.

I ended up making things clear verbally, since he knew exactly what I was hinting at yet refused to acknowledge it, and the way we were making big circles around the subjects wasn't getting anywhere.

I made it clear that:
Yes, I know that he likes me;
No, I'm not abhorred or repelled by it;
No, I don't like him the way he likes me;
No, this will not make things awkward on my part; and
No, I don't mind at all if he asks me out.
(Oh, and No, I don't like anyone at the moment.)

Somehow I had to repeat and emphasize my point(s) many times. Not only because of his experiences of others (as he had told me), but also because he seems to care too much whether I would be happy or not in the case that we go out. Which is nice, but I've repeatedly stated that I DON'T MIND.

Well, that went on for around half an hour, him and I just talking besides his car parked on Aragon, occationally veering off course because of innocent passerbys or my easily distracted self.

In terms of progress of our forty-five minute talk, most progress was made as he drove me home. Perhaps because baselines had been established and perhaps of our more private envrionment, I kind of 'finalized' this 'confession stage'. (Which, by the way, he never outright admitted. I think it's a disorder among many man and women, called EGO.)

I left that I meant my points as listed above, he should stop thinking so much about how he think I would feel (the whole 'happiness level' thing...) because I don't NOT enjoy, for the lack of better terms at the moment, 'hanging out' with him, and my offer of not rejecting him still stands, THOUGH I will not be able to see him as anything like a subject of affection. Then I pushed the responsibilty of whether I should go out with him back to him. After all, I lead most of the conversation.

He doesn't want to take the risk of us ruining a friendship from a fight or whatnot. I think it's a risk one will have to take to confess. There's no way around it, and he had already set something in motion when he called me Last Christmas and New Year's just to chat (when I was a Soph-o-moron). Besides, it also mean that he doesn't know me quite well: I may easily get excited, but I'm slow to anger and even then, I forgive easily. Grudges are just too tiring to maintain and I can't expend extra energy to be mad. (I'm also slow to affection, haha. A bit apathetic and cold-hearted, perhaps.)

An online quiz catagorized me as either a Happy-Go-Lucky or a Psycho. I think it's pretty accurate.

Anyway. That's the end of this episode of my life. Interesting episode, yet not really significant...perhaps, perhaps not. Having to deal with Benson and Henry definately helped though, LoL. Benson was okay, but Henry was just...scary. The stalker type o___O;;; I mean, asking me to a movie THREE DAYS after even noticing his very existance?! (Though I did go with him that week, I think. Wh00t, I like The Italian Job!) He also bought be stuff...though using lame excuses (just as lame as asking my Japanese homework more than often enough), and he was a big jerk to Sensei...Even if I had nothing against him, I was disgusted with his attitude and personality...

Anyways, I'll end my love life rant.