11 October 2004

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Q: Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC?
A: The characters can go to different places depending on whom you ask:
» The Catholic's approach to characters: The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those incloved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast", "sex", and "contraception."

» The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is goood, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher characted. Those funny charactes above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, and lower-case letters will become upper case.

» The 20th-century bitter cynical nihilist explanation: Who cares? It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undelleted, underlined, etc. It's all the same.

» The Mac user's explanation: all the charactesr written on a PC and thin deleted go straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC you can probably see the deleted characters abecause you're in PC hell also.

» Stephen King's explanation: every time you hit the [del] key you unleash a tiny monster inseide the cursor, who tears the poor, unspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then ears them, bones and all. Hah, Hah, Hah!

» Dave Barry's explaination: the deleted characters are shipped to Balled Creal, Mich., where they're makde into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while chrap imitations are not flammable. I'm not making this up.

» IBM's explanation: They characters are not real. The exist only on the screen when they are needed, as conceptes, so to deleted them is merely to de-conceptualize them. Get a life.

» PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) explanation: You've been DELETING them? Can't you hear them SCREAMING?? Why don't you go CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you PIG!!



This is riddled with error, as I typed this in 12 minutes will all my vigor. But then again, so was the original..[OOOH, look at all those grammatical errors that I fixed....]

1 comment:

  1. Catholic: * **** *** **y*h**g!
    Buddhist: CAPS LOCK1
    Nihilist:
    Mac: Steve Jobs pwns windows. Oh wait, I can't say pwns because I'm a mac user and therefore don't have any games.
    I'll skip King for concern for my health and for my fellow CS students who are working on the HW just as I should be doing right now...
    Eh, this is getting tiresome.
    Where's the naruto review?

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