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30 December 2006
New Year Resolutions, Whee!
27 December 2006
yawn.
The rainy and stormy weather that caused the cat to turn into a quail (er, Chinese saying; please ignore) persisted throughout the night, knocking windows against their frames. Could hardly sleep because of the noise.
The wind woke me up around 0530. I couldn't stand the banging, so I stuffed a small piece of folded cardboard scavenged from the desk. It helped a little. Didn't last long though. But by then I've gotten warm and sleepy enough to not bother. Well, it's either listening to a muffled version of that or Father's snores...and I know I can't sleep listening to the latter...
Parents wanted me to sleep on the bottom last night because of the cat's strange reactions. Sleeping at such a low height was...strange. Going from the ceiling light to darkness was strange, too. The TV screen seemed to glow after the ceiling light was off...not the first time I've seen it, but a bit eerie just the same.
The windows are banging against their frames from the wind...should probably open the curtains and fix the wedge of paper a bit better...(yes, I just woke up)
The wind woke me up around 0530. I couldn't stand the banging, so I stuffed a small piece of folded cardboard scavenged from the desk. It helped a little. Didn't last long though. But by then I've gotten warm and sleepy enough to not bother. Well, it's either listening to a muffled version of that or Father's snores...and I know I can't sleep listening to the latter...
Parents wanted me to sleep on the bottom last night because of the cat's strange reactions. Sleeping at such a low height was...strange. Going from the ceiling light to darkness was strange, too. The TV screen seemed to glow after the ceiling light was off...not the first time I've seen it, but a bit eerie just the same.
The windows are banging against their frames from the wind...should probably open the curtains and fix the wedge of paper a bit better...(yes, I just woke up)
26 December 2006
Earthquakes, Storms, a Frightened Cat
I wonder if there's a connection between the earthquakes today, the one two years ago, and the fact that Byakko is more frightened than usual.
15 December 2006
whu vgah wrki gavsnm awvrh
I hate this.
I don't want to study, I don't want to talk to Hollis or Father about going home tomorrow, I don't want to be sick.
I'm feeling decidedly avoidant right now.
Don't like it.
Nervous.
Screaming or crying or hitting something might make it better.
Coherent sentences are not relieving stress. Or anxiety. Or nervousness.
I don't want to study, I don't want to talk to Hollis or Father about going home tomorrow, I don't want to be sick.
I'm feeling decidedly avoidant right now.
Don't like it.
Nervous.
Screaming or crying or hitting something might make it better.
Coherent sentences are not relieving stress. Or anxiety. Or nervousness.
13 December 2006
Blogging Just Because
~30min until my first final. Not sure where it is; should be in Young 194, but there aren't any announcements...
Throat started hurting yesterday. Drinking "Ban Lan Gen" with hopes of suppressing whatever bateria that's been killing my throat cells.
Wonder about its effect with microwave-heated water, though.
Woke at 9:30 and drank it this morning, too.
...then forgot to eat breakfast.
Now it's too late to go eat lunch.
I shouldn't have wondered why I haven't gotten sick.
■ Laugh! Study shows out laughter is contagious
Throat started hurting yesterday. Drinking "Ban Lan Gen" with hopes of suppressing whatever bateria that's been killing my throat cells.
Wonder about its effect with microwave-heated water, though.
Woke at 9:30 and drank it this morning, too.
...then forgot to eat breakfast.
Now it's too late to go eat lunch.
I shouldn't have wondered why I haven't gotten sick.
■ Laugh! Study shows out laughter is contagious
22 November 2006
Mushroom Lab, etc
I stayed 50 minutes on a 15 minute demonstration lab and was the last one to leave. Mother was right when she said I have great potential to be a teacher's pet...if I weren't already one.
I can hardly be blamed for being interested and like listening to random mushroom facts, now can I?
Almost fell asleep in Calc. Proves that brain's already on vacation mode. But yay, good things to come during thanksgiving (I hope).
There are a lot of crazy hallucinogenic mushroom worshippers out there. Their websites are rather...cracky.
I can hardly be blamed for being interested and like listening to random mushroom facts, now can I?
Almost fell asleep in Calc. Proves that brain's already on vacation mode. But yay, good things to come during thanksgiving (I hope).
There are a lot of crazy hallucinogenic mushroom worshippers out there. Their websites are rather...cracky.
20 November 2006
News: UCLA Taser Incidence.
It wasn't necessarily racial profiling like Tabatabainejad claimed, but it does seem like the police was overreacting. Tabatabainejad was not cooperative (had his ID card but didn't show it to the CSOs, according to ABC7), and calling the police is standard procedure. For other students' safety, they should assume that he's not one. However, I don't believe that suspected troublemakers should be manhandled. Especially if said troublemaker was already heading out the door, student or no.
Is it an unofficial "standard procedure" to escort someone with bodily contact because of safety issues in L.A.? I, for one, am not exactly comfortable with physical contact, even in everyday situations. Given that Tabatabainejad was probably feeling a bit ruffled from the assumed racial profiling, I wouldn't be surprise that he refused police contact at all. Now, if he was really heading out the door, then why didn't keep their hands off him, since he was walking out already?
Were the police's way to escort wayward citizens (or fugitives) usual for them but is an act that Tabatabainejad wasn't used to? That seems to be a rather possible cause. He could also be just making trouble, in which case the police shouldn't resond with a Taser anyway. He was non-cooperative by sitting on the floor; he wasn'tactively resisting the police by struggling to get away. A resistance passive enough to not justify the Taser, in my book.
I think in one of the sources I listed below mentioned one officer threatening the eyewitness who asked for the officer's name and badge number with the Taser. Is that a form of crowd control that they're used to? The crowd that formed around the police and Tabatabainejad probably made the police nervous.
Interestingly, the one who videotaped the clip didn't go forward to get a clear view of what happened, probably out of fear of getting punished. Most didn't seem to have a mind to record it. Sociology is such a fascinating subject, really. Humans are rather interesting.
So my view of the whole thing is this: both sides overreacted and didn't respond properly. It's not that one side is evil and cruel or the other is "just asking for it," but this seems to be based on miscommunication.
...Despite being familiar with the internet and some related technologies, I'm still amazed by its reach and spread. It's like the HK "Bus Uncle" video..except with a lot less entertainment and quite a bit more news value.
■ 20061115 Daily Bruin (UCLA school newspaper): Student shot with Taser by UCPD officers
■ 20061115 ABC7 (+video news clip): Student Tasered By UCLA Police Department
■ 20061116 LA Times: A third incident, a new video
■ 20061117 LA Times: UCLA student stunned by Taser plans suit
■ 20061117 ABC7 (+video news clip): UCLA Acting Chancellor Agrees to Independent Probe of Taser Gun Incident
■ 20061117 SJ Mercury News: AP Wire - Angry UCLA students demand probe of Taser incident
■ Youtube: UCLA Student Tasered by Police in Library
Is it an unofficial "standard procedure" to escort someone with bodily contact because of safety issues in L.A.? I, for one, am not exactly comfortable with physical contact, even in everyday situations. Given that Tabatabainejad was probably feeling a bit ruffled from the assumed racial profiling, I wouldn't be surprise that he refused police contact at all. Now, if he was really heading out the door, then why didn't keep their hands off him, since he was walking out already?
Were the police's way to escort wayward citizens (or fugitives) usual for them but is an act that Tabatabainejad wasn't used to? That seems to be a rather possible cause. He could also be just making trouble, in which case the police shouldn't resond with a Taser anyway. He was non-cooperative by sitting on the floor; he wasn'tactively resisting the police by struggling to get away. A resistance passive enough to not justify the Taser, in my book.
I think in one of the sources I listed below mentioned one officer threatening the eyewitness who asked for the officer's name and badge number with the Taser. Is that a form of crowd control that they're used to? The crowd that formed around the police and Tabatabainejad probably made the police nervous.
Interestingly, the one who videotaped the clip didn't go forward to get a clear view of what happened, probably out of fear of getting punished. Most didn't seem to have a mind to record it. Sociology is such a fascinating subject, really. Humans are rather interesting.
So my view of the whole thing is this: both sides overreacted and didn't respond properly. It's not that one side is evil and cruel or the other is "just asking for it," but this seems to be based on miscommunication.
...Despite being familiar with the internet and some related technologies, I'm still amazed by its reach and spread. It's like the HK "Bus Uncle" video..except with a lot less entertainment and quite a bit more news value.
■ 20061115 Daily Bruin (UCLA school newspaper): Student shot with Taser by UCPD officers
■ 20061115 ABC7 (+video news clip): Student Tasered By UCLA Police Department
■ 20061116 LA Times: A third incident, a new video
■ 20061117 LA Times: UCLA student stunned by Taser plans suit
■ 20061117 ABC7 (+video news clip): UCLA Acting Chancellor Agrees to Independent Probe of Taser Gun Incident
■ 20061117 SJ Mercury News: AP Wire - Angry UCLA students demand probe of Taser incident
■ Youtube: UCLA Student Tasered by Police in Library
19 November 2006
17 November 2006
06 November 2006
I walked out of the stairway from Hutchinson basement (where the computer lab is) at 18:30 and it's pitch black out there. Being in the SLB since 14:00, I didn't bring a flashlight (not that it would have helped much), and was a less assured than otherwise.
When I passed by Cruess, I saw the black kitty again. Amy and I saw her(?) last right outside of Regan Hall area, when we were walking back from dinner. She had a collar and a tag back then. I've forgotten her name.
She's completely black with long, thick, silky fur and a bushy tail. Declawed, very tame and floppy. I stayed with it for a bit while it catched spiders or some other insect, and later picked it up and carried it closer to Regan. She seemed to like me enough, running off a little then comming back to run against me. At one point she went into the water drain on the side of the road, which scared me a bit until she popped back up, the drain apparently not too deep. Then it saw something in one of the olive tree trunks, but didn't find anything. Too bad I didn't have any food with me then. I'll go snatch some turkey and stuff for her later at lunch &heart;
After a while I got really hungry and had to leave...
This morning I saw her again...and scared her with my bike. Just a little.
I'm hungry now, only have had a can of clam chowder this morning. I'll return; I still have to research for a paper due Weds.
(The person in front of me is using AIMexpress...how did she do that?!)
EDIT 12:22: Heh, nevermind, I can just go on meebo.
When I passed by Cruess, I saw the black kitty again. Amy and I saw her(?) last right outside of Regan Hall area, when we were walking back from dinner. She had a collar and a tag back then. I've forgotten her name.
She's completely black with long, thick, silky fur and a bushy tail. Declawed, very tame and floppy. I stayed with it for a bit while it catched spiders or some other insect, and later picked it up and carried it closer to Regan. She seemed to like me enough, running off a little then comming back to run against me. At one point she went into the water drain on the side of the road, which scared me a bit until she popped back up, the drain apparently not too deep. Then it saw something in one of the olive tree trunks, but didn't find anything. Too bad I didn't have any food with me then. I'll go snatch some turkey and stuff for her later at lunch &heart;
After a while I got really hungry and had to leave...
This morning I saw her again...and scared her with my bike. Just a little.
I'm hungry now, only have had a can of clam chowder this morning. I'll return; I still have to research for a paper due Weds.
(The person in front of me is using AIMexpress...how did she do that?!)
EDIT 12:22: Heh, nevermind, I can just go on meebo.
05 November 2006
What I Do and What I Don't Do
My self hatred is not unfounded. It makes perfect sense. Whether I decide to do something or doesn't do something makes me wonder if I shouldn't have or should have later no. So either way, I second guess myself. I know there's nothing I can do to change it, but I can't help it.
Because I can make mistakes any way I choose.
And I hate myself for it.
Sometimes I don't think about it. I tell myself and everybody that it's alright, I'm not worried. It helps, sometimes.
I'm afraid of myself and what I can do. Stehapnie said everybody now is fake because they don't have an identity anymore. What if my identity is fake to begin with? Then does it still matter?
Some people are what they are. I'm envious of them.
I know I'm selfish, annoying, and all other things. So I hide them. It might've helped. But now I'm afraid that once anybody sees...they'll leave.
I keep thinking, "be careful. You don't deserve this, so don't take it for granted."
This stuff is not making any sense. Hunger is preventing me from even angsting properly.
Because I can make mistakes any way I choose.
And I hate myself for it.
Sometimes I don't think about it. I tell myself and everybody that it's alright, I'm not worried. It helps, sometimes.
I'm afraid of myself and what I can do. Stehapnie said everybody now is fake because they don't have an identity anymore. What if my identity is fake to begin with? Then does it still matter?
Some people are what they are. I'm envious of them.
I know I'm selfish, annoying, and all other things. So I hide them. It might've helped. But now I'm afraid that once anybody sees...they'll leave.
I keep thinking, "be careful. You don't deserve this, so don't take it for granted."
This stuff is not making any sense. Hunger is preventing me from even angsting properly.
Power Supply Died, yet again.
"new" power supply found in Fry's parking lot →
didn't buy a new one →
didn't really work, but Father stuck it in the computer anyway →
next day →
computer wouldn't turn on! →
but it did after lunch →
kept computer on for until Friday →
turned it off because it was getting slow →
Saturday: wouldn't turn on →
Sunday: it's still dead.
didn't buy a new one →
didn't really work, but Father stuck it in the computer anyway →
next day →
computer wouldn't turn on! →
but it did after lunch →
kept computer on for until Friday →
turned it off because it was getting slow →
Saturday: wouldn't turn on →
Sunday: it's still dead.
02 November 2006
I Just Woke Up
Looked out the window, and it's raining.
Dammit. No wonder it was actually warm last night.
Time to go get one of those bicycle cover things. At least the bike's under some overhang now.
Guess I should go brush my teeth and stuff...can't bike today.
Dammit. No wonder it was actually warm last night.
Time to go get one of those bicycle cover things. At least the bike's under some overhang now.
Guess I should go brush my teeth and stuff...can't bike today.
30 October 2006
Friday.
XD
Got to the shuttle station at 14:00. People started forming two lines, which confused me. So I got in a random one and asked the guy in front of me which one's the reserved one, if that's the reason for two lines. I was in the right line. Bus didn't come until 20 after and didn't depart until 14:30.
Matt was in the reserved line and sat in the sit in front of me. We ended up talking most of the way. Meh, crazy pre-med who disturbs people three floors down playing Donkey Kong Bongo or something.
At the beginning and towards the end of the ride the driver spoke about bus safety, registration procedures, and where stuff like the Bart station is.
The bus actually arrived in Berkeley on time (15:45). I figured the bus would be late and told Larry the bus would get there around 4...he figured that it'd arrive late...and brought a newpaper and a box of pakoras. (had to look through the chat logs for that) They were pretty good, but a little too dry for me.
So for an hour I dragged my chem book all around Berkeley campus, with Larry pointing out various buildings that I've gotten about by now. It's a lot of uphill walking and sun in my eyes, but the buildings are pretty. The green copper roofs are done intentionally, Larry. Learned what dryads are, and saw a tree that seem like it shouldn't be living but is. (maybe pictures later...?) Got a map of the campus, but didn't use look at it at all.
At five we waited in front of the clock tower (what was it called again) and...nobody came for 20 minutes or so. Called Elton and Mayo's cell, with no response. It turns out that Elton's lab ran late and Asaf (whose # I did not have) thought we were waiting at Smart Alec's because there aren't any food places where the clock tower is. In the meantime Larry finished all his pakoras though he said he wouldn't be able to eat dinner if he ate all of them.
Met up with Asaf at the fountain in the square (whatever it's called) and called Mayo when we were at the edge of the campus. He was playing tennis and wanted a shower before meeting us, but yes, he'll join us for dinner. Walked back to the fountain to wait for him.
Didn't take long for him to get there. Then dinner. I must thank Elton & Larry for accommodating my vegetarian-ness. Had a avocado burger with a veggie patty. Which tasted kind of strange...not in bad way, but not in a good way either. It tasted a bit like wheat. Now that I think about it, Byakko's dry food tasted strongly of wheat...
Then we went to this frozen yogurt place. Got strawberry and..."happy nuts" (why can't I remember what it's called in English?!), which tasted strange. In the bad way. Asaf offered to trade for his chocolate and caramel, but there's no need to make him eat it, really.
Couldn't decide where to go next and Elton tried to make Larry decide (something along the lines of "the person who's oldest and has been here the longest should decide")...Ended up in the lounge of Mayo's building (Ida?) and Mayo played ping-pong with Elton then Asaf. I can't play ping-pong so Elton got the pool stuff and that's what we did for a couple of hours. I've only played once before, but he kept getting the cue ball in, too, so I won the three games =\ Power (Elton) vs Accuracy (Me). Mayo disappeared sometime while I was concentrating on knocking balls into the pockets and Asaf went to attend a religious meeting or something though he says he's not religious. Eh, a little fuzzy on the details of that. Larry just sat on the sofa. We tried to get him to play, but he wouldn't. Meh.
Elton and I tried to play Foosball with the cue ball. Didn't really work since it's too big to be able to score, and food got on the cue ball. LoL.
Watched Battlestar Galactica for about 5 minutes, after which Elton began playing the piano and I distracted Larry from his TV-watching.
Parentals called some time after 8 to see where in the world I was. I forgot to call them and they weren't very happy. So. Didn't leave the lounge until nine, at least, and just missed the Bart. Asaf, Elton, and Larry stayed behind the gates on the upper level while Mayo & I were half way down the stairs. We weren't included in their conversation =\
As it was Halloween weekend, we saw some interesting people, including a red and black Lolita Goth with a royal blue viking, a floppy-eared dog seems rather warm under all that fur, pirates, and some characters that I couldn't identify. On the bart we saw a guy with red spandex, yellow underwear (on top, of course), and antennas with a gold ball attached on each end. Couldn't get a picture of him because his newspaper was in the way, though.
We ruined our eardrums by listening to music on the Bart and spend our time playing spider solitaire and minesweeper. Parentals came to pick us up at Millbrae and took Mayo home. I didn't arrive home until 23:45. Father was watching the new The Return of the Condor Heroes, so I think that's what we were watching before I went to sleep at 2:30.
Um. Third aunt and cousin Rita came from Seattle the next day, and we met at Grandmother's grave with Father's brother and his family. Alice didn't talk to me at all, but went straight to Rita when she came. I'm a little sad. Maybe she hates me. Maybe I should've gone over there and talked to them. I feel kinda useless and stupid.
Hmm yeah. This is actually typed a week after all that happened because I didn't feel like recalling everything in detail just yet. Now I'm in the computer lab, being bored.
Got to the shuttle station at 14:00. People started forming two lines, which confused me. So I got in a random one and asked the guy in front of me which one's the reserved one, if that's the reason for two lines. I was in the right line. Bus didn't come until 20 after and didn't depart until 14:30.
Matt was in the reserved line and sat in the sit in front of me. We ended up talking most of the way. Meh, crazy pre-med who disturbs people three floors down playing Donkey Kong Bongo or something.
At the beginning and towards the end of the ride the driver spoke about bus safety, registration procedures, and where stuff like the Bart station is.
The bus actually arrived in Berkeley on time (15:45). I figured the bus would be late and told Larry the bus would get there around 4...he figured that it'd arrive late...and brought a newpaper and a box of pakoras. (had to look through the chat logs for that) They were pretty good, but a little too dry for me.
So for an hour I dragged my chem book all around Berkeley campus, with Larry pointing out various buildings that I've gotten about by now. It's a lot of uphill walking and sun in my eyes, but the buildings are pretty. The green copper roofs are done intentionally, Larry. Learned what dryads are, and saw a tree that seem like it shouldn't be living but is. (maybe pictures later...?) Got a map of the campus, but didn't use look at it at all.
At five we waited in front of the clock tower (what was it called again) and...nobody came for 20 minutes or so. Called Elton and Mayo's cell, with no response. It turns out that Elton's lab ran late and Asaf (whose # I did not have) thought we were waiting at Smart Alec's because there aren't any food places where the clock tower is. In the meantime Larry finished all his pakoras though he said he wouldn't be able to eat dinner if he ate all of them.
Met up with Asaf at the fountain in the square (whatever it's called) and called Mayo when we were at the edge of the campus. He was playing tennis and wanted a shower before meeting us, but yes, he'll join us for dinner. Walked back to the fountain to wait for him.
Didn't take long for him to get there. Then dinner. I must thank Elton & Larry for accommodating my vegetarian-ness. Had a avocado burger with a veggie patty. Which tasted kind of strange...not in bad way, but not in a good way either. It tasted a bit like wheat. Now that I think about it, Byakko's dry food tasted strongly of wheat...
Then we went to this frozen yogurt place. Got strawberry and..."happy nuts" (why can't I remember what it's called in English?!), which tasted strange. In the bad way. Asaf offered to trade for his chocolate and caramel, but there's no need to make him eat it, really.
Couldn't decide where to go next and Elton tried to make Larry decide (something along the lines of "the person who's oldest and has been here the longest should decide")...Ended up in the lounge of Mayo's building (Ida?) and Mayo played ping-pong with Elton then Asaf. I can't play ping-pong so Elton got the pool stuff and that's what we did for a couple of hours. I've only played once before, but he kept getting the cue ball in, too, so I won the three games =\ Power (Elton) vs Accuracy (Me). Mayo disappeared sometime while I was concentrating on knocking balls into the pockets and Asaf went to attend a religious meeting or something though he says he's not religious. Eh, a little fuzzy on the details of that. Larry just sat on the sofa. We tried to get him to play, but he wouldn't. Meh.
Elton and I tried to play Foosball with the cue ball. Didn't really work since it's too big to be able to score, and food got on the cue ball. LoL.
Watched Battlestar Galactica for about 5 minutes, after which Elton began playing the piano and I distracted Larry from his TV-watching.
Parentals called some time after 8 to see where in the world I was. I forgot to call them and they weren't very happy. So. Didn't leave the lounge until nine, at least, and just missed the Bart. Asaf, Elton, and Larry stayed behind the gates on the upper level while Mayo & I were half way down the stairs. We weren't included in their conversation =\
As it was Halloween weekend, we saw some interesting people, including a red and black Lolita Goth with a royal blue viking, a floppy-eared dog seems rather warm under all that fur, pirates, and some characters that I couldn't identify. On the bart we saw a guy with red spandex, yellow underwear (on top, of course), and antennas with a gold ball attached on each end. Couldn't get a picture of him because his newspaper was in the way, though.
We ruined our eardrums by listening to music on the Bart and spend our time playing spider solitaire and minesweeper. Parentals came to pick us up at Millbrae and took Mayo home. I didn't arrive home until 23:45. Father was watching the new The Return of the Condor Heroes, so I think that's what we were watching before I went to sleep at 2:30.
Um. Third aunt and cousin Rita came from Seattle the next day, and we met at Grandmother's grave with Father's brother and his family. Alice didn't talk to me at all, but went straight to Rita when she came. I'm a little sad. Maybe she hates me. Maybe I should've gone over there and talked to them. I feel kinda useless and stupid.
Hmm yeah. This is actually typed a week after all that happened because I didn't feel like recalling everything in detail just yet. Now I'm in the computer lab, being bored.
25 October 2006
LAAAAAAATE!
Oh dear. I've been doing additional research for the ergot poisoning write-up (1 pg minimum...I wrote 2, accidentally.) and...it's really late now. In Hutchinsons.
Chem lab was fun. Pretty colors.
The worse is over, I think. I hope. Tomorrow will be an easier day and Friday will be 'yay'. It's only 'bad' because I had work due, anyway. Not that I don't have more work due tomorrow or Friday, but I'm either done with it (or have overdone it), or it's not...due due.
I still have to find a way to show that 'what are you sinking about' commercial in the Language seminar. I should go to TIexpress to see what they have that I can borrow.
I should go. It's late. It's dark.
Chem lab was fun. Pretty colors.
The worse is over, I think. I hope. Tomorrow will be an easier day and Friday will be 'yay'. It's only 'bad' because I had work due, anyway. Not that I don't have more work due tomorrow or Friday, but I'm either done with it (or have overdone it), or it's not...due due.
I still have to find a way to show that 'what are you sinking about' commercial in the Language seminar. I should go to TIexpress to see what they have that I can borrow.
I should go. It's late. It's dark.
In Chem Lab SLB
...waiting for Chem lab @ 13:10.
I kinda feel like crap.
This lab has some older Dells. Same system as the other SLBs, though, so I'm guessing no java/popups.
(I found out last night that I've been spelling 'casserole dish' wrong this whole time.)
Started looking at courses last night. Pass 1 for me is Monday @ 14:30. I'm slightly worried, as it seems like I'm going to have 1 more unit than this quarter. Worried about how I'm going to deal in Chem, that is. Apparently the average is a B on the midterm...and I'm below average (cries). So...guess I'll have to put in much more time if I want scholarship/stay in DHC. or be less stubborn.
I haven't been...happy (...content?) lately. I've been spewing quite some angry words. It's taking a bit of energy from me. Maybe I just shouldn't care about things not directly related to me anymore. I'm not gratuitous...and maybe trying to be is creating cognitive dissonance. Maybe I just need some time alone.
I kinda feel like crap.
This lab has some older Dells. Same system as the other SLBs, though, so I'm guessing no java/popups.
(I found out last night that I've been spelling 'casserole dish' wrong this whole time.)
Started looking at courses last night. Pass 1 for me is Monday @ 14:30. I'm slightly worried, as it seems like I'm going to have 1 more unit than this quarter. Worried about how I'm going to deal in Chem, that is. Apparently the average is a B on the midterm...and I'm below average (cries). So...guess I'll have to put in much more time if I want scholarship/stay in DHC. or be less stubborn.
I haven't been...happy (...content?) lately. I've been spewing quite some angry words. It's taking a bit of energy from me. Maybe I just shouldn't care about things not directly related to me anymore. I'm not gratuitous...and maybe trying to be is creating cognitive dissonance. Maybe I just need some time alone.
24 October 2006
This is me writing n times a day as I hog a station in the computer lab, doing and not doing my homework.
Found out that while the older computers in the Segundo LRC has no CPUs to plug headphones & USBs into and has very old and slow computers (w/ no firefox), they allow AIMexpress and can print for free 10 pages a day, no quarter limit. Hmm....
I better go back to cook myself some bokchoy for dinner, then do Chem hw and draft the Salem Witch essay.
Found out that while the older computers in the Segundo LRC has no CPUs to plug headphones & USBs into and has very old and slow computers (w/ no firefox), they allow AIMexpress and can print for free 10 pages a day, no quarter limit. Hmm....
I better go back to cook myself some bokchoy for dinner, then do Chem hw and draft the Salem Witch essay.
Locked Out.
Went to the MU computer lab, which had no free stations →
Went back to Hutchinson lab, stayed for an hour and a half →
Got last week’s post-lab done →
Walked out and saw Amy going to her class →
Got back and couldn't find her keys* →
Figured she probably left them in the room when she opened the door after lunch →
Is at the Segundo LRC using their crappy computers (slow and not LCD monitors) + can't do the pre-lab presentation using Amy's labtop like she planned + is too lazy to walk to Hutchinson again + will probably go do the pre-lab at Hutchinson's after Calc Discussion.
(cries)
EDIT 20061025 22:18:
Went back to Hutchinson lab, stayed for an hour and a half →
Got last week’s post-lab done →
Walked out and saw Amy going to her class →
Got back and couldn't find her keys* →
Figured she probably left them in the room when she opened the door after lunch →
Is at the Segundo LRC using their crappy computers (slow and not LCD monitors) + can't do the pre-lab presentation using Amy's labtop like she planned + is too lazy to walk to Hutchinson again + will probably go do the pre-lab at Hutchinson's after Calc Discussion.
(cries)
EDIT 20061025 22:18:
*refering to PcBY, not Amy.
oO;;
On a 10 min station in Olson.
Last night, walked out of Hutchinson at around 19:30 and went. "Crap. It's all dark. I don't know where I am."
30 seconds left.
EDIT 15:40: 142/200 = 74.5%. Just as I expected. If he'd curve to top grade, though, I'd barely have a B (184). GAH.
Last night, walked out of Hutchinson at around 19:30 and went. "Crap. It's all dark. I don't know where I am."
30 seconds left.
EDIT 15:40: 142/200 = 74.5%. Just as I expected. If he'd curve to top grade, though, I'd barely have a B (184). GAH.
23 October 2006
Never A Dull Day For PcBY
...That was the title I had when I planned to write today. Amy, in her recent post, said that school's been unevenful and so routine. Contrarily, I seemed to find enough to post all last week. It could be because I just didn't want to study for midterms, but I had things to say. Well, I guess that's not too difficult to being with. I suppose the difference is in the frame of mind and...what actually did happen. Yes, school is not that different and not difficult to adjust to, but many things did happen that is new, interesting...and need to be let out of my system. But maybe it's just me being easily interested.
This is my place to speak without being too afraid of being uninteresting. Or too random. Or too scary. Or too emo. (wait. Nevermind on that. That's already done.)
Last night was supposed to be uneventful. Amy went out to explore the Sacramento airport, while I stayed in the room to study for the Chem midterm (the last one for the moment). First day of vegan/vegetarian diet, but I've been doing that for years. Boiled noodles and cooked vegetables for myself, but that's been done the night before too. (By the way, there weren't nearly as many aphides on the bokchoy as the package from the night before.)
Amy came back around 21:00 (21:30?) and bought cup ramen from RiteAid. Cleaned the casseroll dish for me and used it to boil water for the ramen. After a while she ran in, told me she poured boiling water on her feet, and went to the bathroom. Maybe I should've warned her about spiling, since I did get a bit on me when I tried to pour hot water a little earlier. So after checking that she's okay, I went back into the room to find the first aid kit. And guess what I did. I panicked. I completely forgot that I put it on the shelf next to the door and went rumaging my closet, drawers, etc, etc for the box, even thinking that I might've left it behind at home. Yeah, so much for being cool-headed.
I found creme for burns and non-stick pads, but no gauze pads, gauze rolls, or cloth tape. Basically what we have left after the cat healed. So I ran around the floor (okay, just on my side of the building) and looked for these things. People tried to be helpful and was caring, I'm glad to find.
Today she didn't go to class (MUS010) and was still asleep a couple of hours after noon.
In the meanwhile, I got my Calc midterm back (98/100, 115 pts possible), learned about bread and wine and cheese, and failed my Chem midterm (not in the joking way).
I should mention that my computer had been acting strangely for the past few days. I couldn't find any viruses, but sometimes it would turn on by itself in the middle of the night after I've turned it off, staying on until I wake up and hear its whirl. It happened again last night, keyboard lights flashing spasmodically and hard drive making chuggling noises. I turned off the UPS and unplugged the ethernet cable before I slept.
This morning I plugged the power back in and tried to see if it still has problems, and found that I couldn't even turn it on. After classes I took the cover off the tower and checked for loose cables and such...and when that didn't work, I called Father. After wishing him happy birthday, you're one year older, and such. Checked a few more things and he said the power supply for the computer must've burnt out. (eMachines' tend to do that often, he said.)
SOOOOO. No computer until Sunday. Awesome. I'll be going home this weekend (through Davis-Berkeley shuttle, yay!), so I guess a new computer part is another thing I can look forward to.
Went to TAPS to get the shuttle ticket, and walked ~40min to The Marketplace when I could've taken paid public transportation. At least I took Unitrans back. And at least I have a good idea of some of the area north of UCD now. I like walking; gives me a sense of where things are. I don't notice as much on bikes or buses...well, I'm mostly trying not to crash and get to some place as soon as possible when I'm on a bike...
Bought gauze pads, a gauze roll, and a roll of cloth tape. Used my credit card the first time (MUST REMEMBER TO PAY THE BILLS). Went to safeway to buy Melba toast for the goat cheese I bought last weekend, also got two tiny pumpkins that I don't know what to do with. Decided the "vegetarian food" at DC not only has entirely too much oil, but is making me feel sick. Thus I bought a strawberry whirl (yay for trying new food) and will be having that for dinner.
Got back, gave the model # for the power supply to Father, went to Cowell with Amy, came to Hutchinson's, got a bit lost trying to find the computer lab, and here I am, spending more time than I should ranting about insignificant details of my day. Not the worst day, but getting there.
I'm really trying to have vegan diet for 9 days. Father said I shouldn't though, since I have school, and I don't have the greatest selection of foods here. Eat eggs and milk products like you have been previous years, he said. He laughed when I said I'll go on the diet as well on Saturday, when they got back from their trip.
Oh well. The cheese will have to be eaten.
Too much oil makes me sick. It's an uncomfortable weight in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
Mother called around 12:30 to see how I was doing. I was frustrated at the computer and thus was unkind and impatient when we talked. I feel guilty now. Father was...so business-like. "Okay, I'll see if I can get the power supply for you. Goodbye." -__-;
As I was walking to Albertson's (though I didn't see any Albertsons and ended up in Safeway), I talked to myself in a cheerily sacrastic tone. Oh yes, just a brilliant day today. I wonder if it's going to get better? No, I'm not pissed, no, no, not at all. A warm sun and failing chem. What more could I ask for? Ah, I hope it won't get any colder when they turn on the central heating system on the 26th. It's not warm enough until it feels like an oven. I briefly considered talking to others this way, but decided I don't need to get other people irritated too.
Meh. I have a writing assignment (w/ internet reserch!) due Thursay. Sounds like a good time to spend an obscene amount of time in the computer lab sometime soon...
I can't wait until Friday. Really. Not only because will I be done with this hellish week without my own computer, but because I is going to have dinner with Larry, Elton, Mayo, and maybe other people too. Yay.
My phone is running out of battery again. GARH, RAZRs use too much battery....
This is my place to speak without being too afraid of being uninteresting. Or too random. Or too scary. Or too emo. (wait. Nevermind on that. That's already done.)
Last night was supposed to be uneventful. Amy went out to explore the Sacramento airport, while I stayed in the room to study for the Chem midterm (the last one for the moment). First day of vegan/vegetarian diet, but I've been doing that for years. Boiled noodles and cooked vegetables for myself, but that's been done the night before too. (By the way, there weren't nearly as many aphides on the bokchoy as the package from the night before.)
Amy came back around 21:00 (21:30?) and bought cup ramen from RiteAid. Cleaned the casseroll dish for me and used it to boil water for the ramen. After a while she ran in, told me she poured boiling water on her feet, and went to the bathroom. Maybe I should've warned her about spiling, since I did get a bit on me when I tried to pour hot water a little earlier. So after checking that she's okay, I went back into the room to find the first aid kit. And guess what I did. I panicked. I completely forgot that I put it on the shelf next to the door and went rumaging my closet, drawers, etc, etc for the box, even thinking that I might've left it behind at home. Yeah, so much for being cool-headed.
I found creme for burns and non-stick pads, but no gauze pads, gauze rolls, or cloth tape. Basically what we have left after the cat healed. So I ran around the floor (okay, just on my side of the building) and looked for these things. People tried to be helpful and was caring, I'm glad to find.
Today she didn't go to class (MUS010) and was still asleep a couple of hours after noon.
In the meanwhile, I got my Calc midterm back (98/100, 115 pts possible), learned about bread and wine and cheese, and failed my Chem midterm (not in the joking way).
I should mention that my computer had been acting strangely for the past few days. I couldn't find any viruses, but sometimes it would turn on by itself in the middle of the night after I've turned it off, staying on until I wake up and hear its whirl. It happened again last night, keyboard lights flashing spasmodically and hard drive making chuggling noises. I turned off the UPS and unplugged the ethernet cable before I slept.
This morning I plugged the power back in and tried to see if it still has problems, and found that I couldn't even turn it on. After classes I took the cover off the tower and checked for loose cables and such...and when that didn't work, I called Father. After wishing him happy birthday, you're one year older, and such. Checked a few more things and he said the power supply for the computer must've burnt out. (eMachines' tend to do that often, he said.)
SOOOOO. No computer until Sunday. Awesome. I'll be going home this weekend (through Davis-Berkeley shuttle, yay!), so I guess a new computer part is another thing I can look forward to.
Went to TAPS to get the shuttle ticket, and walked ~40min to The Marketplace when I could've taken paid public transportation. At least I took Unitrans back. And at least I have a good idea of some of the area north of UCD now. I like walking; gives me a sense of where things are. I don't notice as much on bikes or buses...well, I'm mostly trying not to crash and get to some place as soon as possible when I'm on a bike...
Bought gauze pads, a gauze roll, and a roll of cloth tape. Used my credit card the first time (MUST REMEMBER TO PAY THE BILLS). Went to safeway to buy Melba toast for the goat cheese I bought last weekend, also got two tiny pumpkins that I don't know what to do with. Decided the "vegetarian food" at DC not only has entirely too much oil, but is making me feel sick. Thus I bought a strawberry whirl (yay for trying new food) and will be having that for dinner.
Got back, gave the model # for the power supply to Father, went to Cowell with Amy, came to Hutchinson's, got a bit lost trying to find the computer lab, and here I am, spending more time than I should ranting about insignificant details of my day. Not the worst day, but getting there.
I'm really trying to have vegan diet for 9 days. Father said I shouldn't though, since I have school, and I don't have the greatest selection of foods here. Eat eggs and milk products like you have been previous years, he said. He laughed when I said I'll go on the diet as well on Saturday, when they got back from their trip.
Oh well. The cheese will have to be eaten.
Too much oil makes me sick. It's an uncomfortable weight in my stomach that wouldn't go away.
Mother called around 12:30 to see how I was doing. I was frustrated at the computer and thus was unkind and impatient when we talked. I feel guilty now. Father was...so business-like. "Okay, I'll see if I can get the power supply for you. Goodbye." -__-;
As I was walking to Albertson's (though I didn't see any Albertsons and ended up in Safeway), I talked to myself in a cheerily sacrastic tone. Oh yes, just a brilliant day today. I wonder if it's going to get better? No, I'm not pissed, no, no, not at all. A warm sun and failing chem. What more could I ask for? Ah, I hope it won't get any colder when they turn on the central heating system on the 26th. It's not warm enough until it feels like an oven. I briefly considered talking to others this way, but decided I don't need to get other people irritated too.
Meh. I have a writing assignment (w/ internet reserch!) due Thursay. Sounds like a good time to spend an obscene amount of time in the computer lab sometime soon...
I can't wait until Friday. Really. Not only because will I be done with this hellish week without my own computer, but because I is going to have dinner with Larry, Elton, Mayo, and maybe other people too. Yay.
My phone is running out of battery again. GARH, RAZRs use too much battery....
21 October 2006
About Change and Fakeness. (and finally getting some sleep)
I woke not half an hour ago, haven't washed or eaten. Got a glorious twelve hours of sleep. Finally. These heavy curtains are wonderful.
This is what I spent my half hour on.
Hikaruyuki: The Fantasy
First, if her parents and mentors really did tell her what she relayed, then I have to disagree with them. "...Pick out all of the imperfections you've discovered about yourself ever since freshman year of high school, throw them away, and present a new 'you' to the world"? Not only is throwing out an imperfection more difficult than it sounds, "throwing out" is not quite the right world, isnt it? It sounds...so absolute. As if imperfections are just mud on your face that merely take some water and soap to clean. Yes, strive to be the perfect human who's the most caring, most humble, most friendly, most out-going, most reflective, most intelligent, most accepting, most thoughtful, most humourous, most...!
It doesn't sound natural.
I think...imperfections are like stains on an unbleached cotton t-shirt. The stain is what distinguishes one person from the next. You can be disgusted with it, but if it doesn't wash out (and it's not easy to, the longer you've had that stain), then what? Either try again and again until it fades to something unnoticible, dye the whole shirt into a different color to cover that ugly thing up, or accept it, maybe decorating and changing it into something of merit, and wear it with pride. Some people ignore it (or never even notice it) and probably more would just dye the whole shirt. Dyed shirts are not natural-looking. The other options take more energy, more time. Bleached shirts...well, yes, the stain is gone, but you look blindingly bright and untouchable. You'll probably be less touchable, too, afraid of getting any imperfect stains...
Speaking of shirts, I need to do laundry this weekend or soon.
"I'd like to go back to when I still had an identity. At least back then, I didn't feel like I was playing myself."
Identity, I thought, is who you think you are? Won't you always have an identity, which, in this case, only means that you don't like the mold you're trying to fit into?
I commented, but I'm a little afraid of any backlash. I don't know her well, or even in person, so maybe I shouldn't be saying anything. I often think that despite some of our similarities (that's how I started contacting her), we live in very different environments and have very different views...at least in the realm of social life. Correction: I have a different social life than most people.
tag "mind discovery," tag "philosophy," tag "weltanschauung," or others?
This is what I spent my half hour on.
Hikaruyuki: The Fantasy
First, if her parents and mentors really did tell her what she relayed, then I have to disagree with them. "...Pick out all of the imperfections you've discovered about yourself ever since freshman year of high school, throw them away, and present a new 'you' to the world"? Not only is throwing out an imperfection more difficult than it sounds, "throwing out" is not quite the right world, isnt it? It sounds...so absolute. As if imperfections are just mud on your face that merely take some water and soap to clean. Yes, strive to be the perfect human who's the most caring, most humble, most friendly, most out-going, most reflective, most intelligent, most accepting, most thoughtful, most humourous, most...!
It doesn't sound natural.
I think...imperfections are like stains on an unbleached cotton t-shirt. The stain is what distinguishes one person from the next. You can be disgusted with it, but if it doesn't wash out (and it's not easy to, the longer you've had that stain), then what? Either try again and again until it fades to something unnoticible, dye the whole shirt into a different color to cover that ugly thing up, or accept it, maybe decorating and changing it into something of merit, and wear it with pride. Some people ignore it (or never even notice it) and probably more would just dye the whole shirt. Dyed shirts are not natural-looking. The other options take more energy, more time. Bleached shirts...well, yes, the stain is gone, but you look blindingly bright and untouchable. You'll probably be less touchable, too, afraid of getting any imperfect stains...
Speaking of shirts, I need to do laundry this weekend or soon.
"I'd like to go back to when I still had an identity. At least back then, I didn't feel like I was playing myself."
Identity, I thought, is who you think you are? Won't you always have an identity, which, in this case, only means that you don't like the mold you're trying to fit into?
I commented, but I'm a little afraid of any backlash. I don't know her well, or even in person, so maybe I shouldn't be saying anything. I often think that despite some of our similarities (that's how I started contacting her), we live in very different environments and have very different views...at least in the realm of social life. Correction: I have a different social life than most people.
tag "mind discovery," tag "philosophy," tag "weltanschauung," or others?
20 October 2006
Bernice Is Emo Today.
Garris: (points to the black boots I was wearing) Emo shoes.
I: They're old and tattered.
Garris: That's what makes it emo.
I: (pulls pant legs up a bit) They're actually boots...that just makes them more emo, doesn't it?
Garris: yeah.
I: I'm wearing all black today too...
Garris: an with those wrist warmers...you're really not doing any good, you know.
I: haha.
(a bit later)
Garris: Let's see what emo Bernice is listening to. (takes iPod)
I: (gives an earplug)
Garris: "Half pain"? You're really emo today. (makes slicing motions) Soon you'll be slicing your wrist.
I: (laughing )yeah. (makes up-down slicing motions) Oops, I'll die that way. (slices across) That's better.
But I'm not as I appear today. Calc midterm was fine; didn't get to figure out the extra credit, but the exam was rather easy. Didn't even have epsilon/n proofs. We had a guest speaker—chair of Department of Food Sciences—who lectured on beer today. English (British) and very funny. Goes through information really quickly, but most are on slides anyway. Had much fun. Overall, not an emo day.
__________________
15:41 edit: ARGH. Went to get discounted watercolor pens at the blowout sale thing and the person at the register is INCOMPETENT! I bought a few of those brush/pen things, found ones with better tips, asked if I can just change the product, and she told me to buy these and return the ones I bought earlier. Went to the returns place, the girl there (who's probably new) had to get approval from the art department because some people return used supplies. The art department wouldn't pick up (because they're remodeling, as the person from the art department said later). Called a bunch more people and finally got someone to come. That person didn't recognize the pens, so she ran around trying to figure out if those are returnable. After at least half an hour since I asked for an exchange, I finally could to the cash register to get my money back.
The only good thing that came out of this whole thing is getting more money back than I paid. When the returns girl scanned the products in, they showed the list price but not the extra 50% off, so I got $10 back when I only paid $5 for them. At least it's compensation?
The person at the blowout sale thought she was completely blameless, too, which is the thing that made me most irritated. But if she were competent, she wouldn't be working here rather than in internships or something, right?
When Amy bought hers, one of the pens only got a $.50 (rather than 50%) discount, so that took a while to go through the same process too. At least the returns girl knew what to do then. =/
I: They're old and tattered.
Garris: That's what makes it emo.
I: (pulls pant legs up a bit) They're actually boots...that just makes them more emo, doesn't it?
Garris: yeah.
I: I'm wearing all black today too...
Garris: an with those wrist warmers...you're really not doing any good, you know.
I: haha.
(a bit later)
Garris: Let's see what emo Bernice is listening to. (takes iPod)
I: (gives an earplug)
Garris: "Half pain"? You're really emo today. (makes slicing motions) Soon you'll be slicing your wrist.
I: (laughing )yeah. (makes up-down slicing motions) Oops, I'll die that way. (slices across) That's better.
But I'm not as I appear today. Calc midterm was fine; didn't get to figure out the extra credit, but the exam was rather easy. Didn't even have epsilon/n proofs. We had a guest speaker—chair of Department of Food Sciences—who lectured on beer today. English (British) and very funny. Goes through information really quickly, but most are on slides anyway. Had much fun. Overall, not an emo day.
__________________
15:41 edit: ARGH. Went to get discounted watercolor pens at the blowout sale thing and the person at the register is INCOMPETENT! I bought a few of those brush/pen things, found ones with better tips, asked if I can just change the product, and she told me to buy these and return the ones I bought earlier. Went to the returns place, the girl there (who's probably new) had to get approval from the art department because some people return used supplies. The art department wouldn't pick up (because they're remodeling, as the person from the art department said later). Called a bunch more people and finally got someone to come. That person didn't recognize the pens, so she ran around trying to figure out if those are returnable. After at least half an hour since I asked for an exchange, I finally could to the cash register to get my money back.
The only good thing that came out of this whole thing is getting more money back than I paid. When the returns girl scanned the products in, they showed the list price but not the extra 50% off, so I got $10 back when I only paid $5 for them. At least it's compensation?
The person at the blowout sale thought she was completely blameless, too, which is the thing that made me most irritated. But if she were competent, she wouldn't be working here rather than in internships or something, right?
When Amy bought hers, one of the pens only got a $.50 (rather than 50%) discount, so that took a while to go through the same process too. At least the returns girl knew what to do then. =/
19 October 2006
CDs & Resized T-shrits
Not a month since this 'higher education' thing started and I've already got two, no, three new CDs. Bernice doesn't usually buy CDs. Free noon concerts are to be blamed. Last Tuesday was "folk guitarist" Joe Hickerson and today was guitarist Brandon Yip. Hmm...and in between scavenged Japan for Sale from the library.
The first two CDs doesn't do the music justice compared to the concert. Especially the Hickerson one, where the audience participates by singing the chorus. Sounded better than the CD version, I daresay. But it might've just been the acoustics though. Yip's is not as good in CD, either. =\ I guess now I know why people go to concerts. Oh, I just noticed another reason. The CD I got was recorded 10 years ago. His skills probably improved during the years.
____________________
We got back from the noon concert (Psych midterm was just before that) and I noticed how my t-shirt seemed larger than before. I washed/dried this particular shirt in our dorm's laundry. Amy then commented that her robotics shirt seemed smalled than before. We questioned the strangeness of the dryer. (Dietary, exercise, and habitual changes probably played a factor, too)
Speaking of food, I'm eating much less healthily now. My nails have become more brittle than it used to be...which makes me rather unhappy because I am (was) proud of my nails-that-don't-break. Gah.
I should go study for tomorrow's Calculus for BioSci and Med midterm. Bright and early at 08:00. (dies)
The first two CDs doesn't do the music justice compared to the concert. Especially the Hickerson one, where the audience participates by singing the chorus. Sounded better than the CD version, I daresay. But it might've just been the acoustics though. Yip's is not as good in CD, either. =\ I guess now I know why people go to concerts. Oh, I just noticed another reason. The CD I got was recorded 10 years ago. His skills probably improved during the years.
____________________
We got back from the noon concert (Psych midterm was just before that) and I noticed how my t-shirt seemed larger than before. I washed/dried this particular shirt in our dorm's laundry. Amy then commented that her robotics shirt seemed smalled than before. We questioned the strangeness of the dryer. (Dietary, exercise, and habitual changes probably played a factor, too)
Speaking of food, I'm eating much less healthily now. My nails have become more brittle than it used to be...which makes me rather unhappy because I am (was) proud of my nails-that-don't-break. Gah.
I should go study for tomorrow's Calculus for BioSci and Med midterm. Bright and early at 08:00. (dies)
18 October 2006
Ammonium nitrate love?
Mushroom, Mold, and Society (SAS030) midterm today. I don't think I did as well as I could've.
As much as I whi—ined and complained about the Chem lab last night, it really wasn't so bad. In fact, it was kinda fun. Or maybe last week's "measuring the density of water" is just too borning. Anyway, had to mix a few metal salts and acids/bases and make observations then figure out what's in one of the 'mystery chemicals'. The people who planned the lab even tried to get us more involved by trying to make up a background story too, even if it's only, "...you'll be analyzining an unknow compound left at the scene of the crime."
Hmm...I can still smell the ammonium nitrate. (Finished lab ~15:30)
Time to study for Psychology Research Methods (PSC041) now...Oh, and have to write for SAS030 Honors discussion too...
As much as I whi—ined and complained about the Chem lab last night, it really wasn't so bad. In fact, it was kinda fun. Or maybe last week's "measuring the density of water" is just too borning. Anyway, had to mix a few metal salts and acids/bases and make observations then figure out what's in one of the 'mystery chemicals'. The people who planned the lab even tried to get us more involved by trying to make up a background story too, even if it's only, "...you'll be analyzining an unknow compound left at the scene of the crime."
Hmm...I can still smell the ammonium nitrate. (Finished lab ~15:30)
Time to study for Psychology Research Methods (PSC041) now...Oh, and have to write for SAS030 Honors discussion too...
13 October 2006
Home without family.
I'm home. Took 3 and a half hours, three modes of transportation, and three transfers to return, but I'm here. I've 'returned', as Japanese language would suggest.
But returning to a home without people feels strange. Granted, the cat seemed to be rather excited to have the remote possibility of freedom (after giving me a small lick on the nose as a greeting), and Aunt seems interested in hearing about how I got back (I surprised her by calling after I went to Amy's for dinner).
Everything is there and is familiar, but it doesn't feel quite right. I guess people are right when they say they've returned 'home' when they are with someone they adore.
I'm tired. This higher education thing is tiring. Biking to every class is tiring. having to deal with your own daily stuff is tiring. Not being able to just let go is tiring.
Maybe I just had to run around too much. The weekend after I moved in I returned home to deal with the phone. The week after I did not, but went to Sacramento to deal with the same issue. It's finally solved, but it might've taken a higher toll on me than I think. New environment, persisting problem, new daily routine, missing home, monthly hemorrhage, heavier workload...
Looking far ahead makes me think of the long road, the limited time, the far goal, and "how the hell will I be able to fit everything together," and looking at my near future makes me worried, over-loaded, and "crap I'm not keeping up."
Oh, another strange thing. I have the privacy of a whole house instead of a room. Such a big difference with the dormitories. Having been possessing my own room for more than 12 years, the lack of solitude and having to accommodate a lot might be sapping my energy too.
Oh, did I mention I got sick too? Whether that added to the stress or is the manifestation of the stress, though, is up for debate.
This change has thrown me back into confusion that I've tried to wade out of for a year. That's why I kept saying I'm unsettled. I seemed to have lost whatever place I had mentally placed myself that has kept me rather happy for the summer months. Maybe that 'place' is actually just somewhere I escaped to, to avoid thinking about it.
I'm tired.
But returning to a home without people feels strange. Granted, the cat seemed to be rather excited to have the remote possibility of freedom (after giving me a small lick on the nose as a greeting), and Aunt seems interested in hearing about how I got back (I surprised her by calling after I went to Amy's for dinner).
Everything is there and is familiar, but it doesn't feel quite right. I guess people are right when they say they've returned 'home' when they are with someone they adore.
I'm tired. This higher education thing is tiring. Biking to every class is tiring. having to deal with your own daily stuff is tiring. Not being able to just let go is tiring.
Maybe I just had to run around too much. The weekend after I moved in I returned home to deal with the phone. The week after I did not, but went to Sacramento to deal with the same issue. It's finally solved, but it might've taken a higher toll on me than I think. New environment, persisting problem, new daily routine, missing home, monthly hemorrhage, heavier workload...
Looking far ahead makes me think of the long road, the limited time, the far goal, and "how the hell will I be able to fit everything together," and looking at my near future makes me worried, over-loaded, and "crap I'm not keeping up."
Oh, another strange thing. I have the privacy of a whole house instead of a room. Such a big difference with the dormitories. Having been possessing my own room for more than 12 years, the lack of solitude and having to accommodate a lot might be sapping my energy too.
Oh, did I mention I got sick too? Whether that added to the stress or is the manifestation of the stress, though, is up for debate.
This change has thrown me back into confusion that I've tried to wade out of for a year. That's why I kept saying I'm unsettled. I seemed to have lost whatever place I had mentally placed myself that has kept me rather happy for the summer months. Maybe that 'place' is actually just somewhere I escaped to, to avoid thinking about it.
I'm tired.
06 October 2006
Sometimes
Sometimes, there are things that must be done, despite any unwillingness.
Taking 2 bloody hours of public transportation to Northwest of downtown Sacramento, 18 miles away, is one of them.
I know I can get home in that time, even, but going home to an empty house won't fucking help. Phone will still be dead, the indirect dealers will still push the responsibility around, the Verison folks will still not fix anything, and I still won't know whether the phone will work until I come back. At least, in here, I can get some sympathy points for being young, away from home and convenient transportation. Maybe.
I don't like the number of unknown variable in this. I don't like how stranded and helpless I may become if I get lost.
Yes I'm fucking scared of getting lost alone. Yes I'm scared of not having backup, not having support. Yes I'm still a very dependent child with no hope of "moving out" any time soon.
But this is only the end of the second week. Only the end of first week of instruction. Maybe I won't feel like I'm in camp in a bit. Maybe I'll feel more involvement in a while. Maybe I'll feel more comfortable outside our room soon. Maybe...
I'm ill-adapted to change.
Taking 2 bloody hours of public transportation to Northwest of downtown Sacramento, 18 miles away, is one of them.
I know I can get home in that time, even, but going home to an empty house won't fucking help. Phone will still be dead, the indirect dealers will still push the responsibility around, the Verison folks will still not fix anything, and I still won't know whether the phone will work until I come back. At least, in here, I can get some sympathy points for being young, away from home and convenient transportation. Maybe.
I don't like the number of unknown variable in this. I don't like how stranded and helpless I may become if I get lost.
Yes I'm fucking scared of getting lost alone. Yes I'm scared of not having backup, not having support. Yes I'm still a very dependent child with no hope of "moving out" any time soon.
But this is only the end of the second week. Only the end of first week of instruction. Maybe I won't feel like I'm in camp in a bit. Maybe I'll feel more involvement in a while. Maybe I'll feel more comfortable outside our room soon. Maybe...
I'm ill-adapted to change.
05 October 2006
Child
Parents have been on the plane for two hours now.
Last night, when I called my parents and they didn't pick up, my voice cracked on the 'voice email.'
Last night, when they picked up my call, I found myself sounding casual and not like the stuff that's stuck between my throat and my lungs.
I asked about the Verizon account. What's going on? Have you given me full access to the account? What should I do now?
Father said I sounded tired (it was 23:30). I said yes. I said I can stay up a bit later, but I do want to sleep. Yes I want to sleep, but I'm not as tired as I sound. I'm unhappy that you two will be leaving me and afraid of going out to Sacramento to deal with this on my own.
We said goodbyes and I hurriedly wish them a safe trip, have fun, be careful. Father cracked jokes about being watchful like a toad. Did he notice? I said, "yeah, yeah, alright. Bye, and write back when you can."
Don't go, don't leave me behind, I don't want to be alone. Don't do something without me. Don't leave.
I sounded tired (weak). I said goodnight to Amy, crawed into bed, curled up on my side facing the wall like I always do, and my eyes got wet.
Then I took a shuddering breth, not being able to breath.
Then I wanted to shake and cry.
I took a slow breath.
Closed my eyes.
Missed.
Last night, when I called my parents and they didn't pick up, my voice cracked on the 'voice email.'
Last night, when they picked up my call, I found myself sounding casual and not like the stuff that's stuck between my throat and my lungs.
I asked about the Verizon account. What's going on? Have you given me full access to the account? What should I do now?
Father said I sounded tired (it was 23:30). I said yes. I said I can stay up a bit later, but I do want to sleep. Yes I want to sleep, but I'm not as tired as I sound. I'm unhappy that you two will be leaving me and afraid of going out to Sacramento to deal with this on my own.
We said goodbyes and I hurriedly wish them a safe trip, have fun, be careful. Father cracked jokes about being watchful like a toad. Did he notice? I said, "yeah, yeah, alright. Bye, and write back when you can."
Don't go, don't leave me behind, I don't want to be alone. Don't do something without me. Don't leave.
I sounded tired (weak). I said goodnight to Amy, crawed into bed, curled up on my side facing the wall like I always do, and my eyes got wet.
Then I took a shuddering breth, not being able to breath.
Then I wanted to shake and cry.
I took a slow breath.
Closed my eyes.
Missed.
03 October 2006
I hate everything right now.
pinkRAZR > defective > went home for an exchange over the weekend (Friday-Sunday) > went to the Authorized Agents's > told to go to a Verizon retail store > Retail store calls the Authorized Agent's and told them 'WTF! Your responsibility!' > told us to go back > went back to trade for a new silverRAZR > calls/reception/battery OK > charged it all night > [interlude] > went back to Davis > phone woke me up at 5:30, screaming "I'M DYING!" > plugged it in and found no service (again!) > called home next day > went to Davis' AuthAgen > referred to Sacramento main store > more calls home to see what the hell I should do > today called main store > found that I can't even go ask for frigging technical help or anything because the account is not 'mine' > asked dad to give me full access abilities on VeriWire.com > phone died around 15:30 (unplugged from battery this morning around 07:30)
I fucking hate this. Nothing went well yesterday. Well, I lie. Just too many things that didn't go the way it should. I don't even feel like elaborating because I've essentially repeated this to parents, amy, and the Verizon store people many, many times, and will still need to.
Please, I'm not rich. And it's not my fault that the Chem+psyc41 book changed version this year and the Calc book STILL HASN"T ARRIVED.
I hate everything right now.
I don't want this. Never wanted this. THIS. I REALLY DON"T WANT IT NOW. I WANT TO GO BACK 2 weeks, one month, three months, one year, two years, 17 years....
If I had some space and room and a bigger closet, I'd go cry. I almost did. I feel fat and streched thin.
I fucking hate this. Nothing went well yesterday. Well, I lie. Just too many things that didn't go the way it should. I don't even feel like elaborating because I've essentially repeated this to parents, amy, and the Verizon store people many, many times, and will still need to.
Please, I'm not rich. And it's not my fault that the Chem+psyc41 book changed version this year and the Calc book STILL HASN"T ARRIVED.
I hate everything right now.
I don't want this. Never wanted this. THIS. I REALLY DON"T WANT IT NOW. I WANT TO GO BACK 2 weeks, one month, three months, one year, two years, 17 years....
If I had some space and room and a bigger closet, I'd go cry. I almost did. I feel fat and streched thin.
25 September 2006
Half a Day After Moving In
The textbooks should be billed by october ($513.94)...and the housing payments are due in a few days. My arms hurt from carrying the textbooks back from the bookstore X\
The phone still doesn't have any reception...!
Almost done unpacking. I just need to wipe the drawers and put clothes in there. I want a place near my desk to put books in, but I don't know what to do...right now the textbooks are in the bottom drawer. We laid out the carpets last night, but haven't taped them together yet.
There are mostly orientation stuff today, and I plan to take some resource tours and go to academic advising today through Wednesday. Umm...not having something to plan my day seems a little incovenient right about now. Haha, a PDA seems like a good idea now, though a computer would suffice.
Amy's still not awake. Well, too bad, because I'm not gonna sit here and wait for her to wake up before I go anywhere.
Uhh...I think I need a bit more sleep than 6.5 hours. I didn't even sleep soundly last night.
The phone still doesn't have any reception...!
Almost done unpacking. I just need to wipe the drawers and put clothes in there. I want a place near my desk to put books in, but I don't know what to do...right now the textbooks are in the bottom drawer. We laid out the carpets last night, but haven't taped them together yet.
There are mostly orientation stuff today, and I plan to take some resource tours and go to academic advising today through Wednesday. Umm...not having something to plan my day seems a little incovenient right about now. Haha, a PDA seems like a good idea now, though a computer would suffice.
Amy's still not awake. Well, too bad, because I'm not gonna sit here and wait for her to wake up before I go anywhere.
Uhh...I think I need a bit more sleep than 6.5 hours. I didn't even sleep soundly last night.
20 September 2006
Hello, World.
I feel restless,
but I'm not cleaning
and packing?
Just found another downside to Blogger beta: no BlogThis function. Maybe I need to update the plugin or something.
Restless.
Restless.
Pace the private "living" room.
Pace the family living room.
Pace the house.
Looks for the cat.
Pace.
Pace.
Restless.
Restless.
Tired.
Confused?
Overwhelmed?
Restless.
Biked in circles today afternoon.
Must do that again.
Must Clean.
Must Pack.
Doing neither.
Restless.
Wander.
Got a new phone. *pink* RAZR V3m.
Incompetent representatives.
Wasted an hour, waiting.
Defective phone.
Stupid phone that can't connect with other phones. Even with bluetooth.
Cheaters.
Worse than my Ericsson T616.
Unsatisfied.
Phone numbers messed up.
...
I don't think I can say I'm 'happy' at this moment.
I think I'm kinda numb.
I think I'm kinda scared.
I think I don't want to go.
I feel like I'm stuck in something.
Am I still trying to go in circles, thinking it'd be alright if I pretend to not see the street just off to the side? Not see the world outside?
Stuck.
Restless.
but I'm not cleaning
and packing?
Just found another downside to Blogger beta: no BlogThis function. Maybe I need to update the plugin or something.
Restless.
Restless.
Pace the private "living" room.
Pace the family living room.
Pace the house.
Looks for the cat.
Pace.
Pace.
Restless.
Restless.
Tired.
Confused?
Overwhelmed?
Restless.
Biked in circles today afternoon.
Must do that again.
Must Clean.
Must Pack.
Doing neither.
Restless.
Wander.
Got a new phone. *pink* RAZR V3m.
Incompetent representatives.
Wasted an hour, waiting.
Defective phone.
Stupid phone that can't connect with other phones. Even with bluetooth.
Cheaters.
Worse than my Ericsson T616.
Unsatisfied.
Phone numbers messed up.
...
I don't think I can say I'm 'happy' at this moment.
I think I'm kinda numb.
I think I'm kinda scared.
I think I don't want to go.
I feel like I'm stuck in something.
Am I still trying to go in circles, thinking it'd be alright if I pretend to not see the street just off to the side? Not see the world outside?
Stuck.
Restless.
18 September 2006
Re: Pocket Monster: Advance Generation
oO; I wasn't serious about the last post, but thanks for caring, guys XD
17 September 2006
Pocket Monsters: Advanced Generation
For one reason or another, I downloaded and watched the last two episodes of Pokemon: AG. Since the Orange League episodes, I haven't paid much attention to Pokemon, so watching it again is...I guess rather fun. And here are the comments (+screenshots + spoilers!) of the last episode of PokeAG.
I already knew about Haruka (May) in AG. Well, I think she's the female character in...Crystal? Anyway, after seeing Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl's preview, it seems that Satoshi is meeting more and more feminine girls, haha.
My first point of interest: the Rockets seemed to have developed a tolerance against electricity. How can they not, after being shocked out of screen in half of the episodes?
Okay, fine. I admit that the only reason I downloaded this episode after seeing the previous one (which was downloaded out of curiosity) was because of Shigeru (Gary) (Insert slight fangirling here). I'm rather suprised by his rather soft voice though. Perhaps I'm just used to the horrid American dub one. Actually, most voices are done by female voice actors (incl Satoshi (Ash) and Shigeru)...But the point of this screenshot is their height. Though their height don't seem to be any different than say, the very beginning of Pokemon, they look relatively normal, right?!
So why do Shige+Sato still look like shrimps next to the adults?! Do they not AGE? I mean, really, after four-hundred-and-sixty odd episodes and travelling four to 5 countries, it can't just have been a year or something, right?! There are more episodes than days in a year! WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK NOT A DAY OVER 10?! Do they have some sort of dwarf gene or delayed growth spurt gene or something in them? Satoshi's mom x drawf = OTP?! Or, Prof. Oak x dwarf = OTP??!?!?! (is rather disturbed)
(Thinks about Gary's lack of parents, Gary and Hanako's hair color, Gary & Ash's dwarfness, their age, their "rivalry"...and arrives at something eerily similar to Korean drama plot)
But, aw, how cute, Gary goes back to town (refusing to battle with Ash with the excuse that his pokemon (previous screen shot) ran out of energy after shocking the Rockets) to tell everyone Ash's comming back so they can suprise him. (slash gears turns) Wait, but he already called ahead, so he's really trying to welcome him before everybody else!
Furthermore, he comes back to Pallet,
pwns Ash with his shiny new Pokemon,
tells him about being humble and the big, big world (of Pokemon) out there,
...and goes back to whatever he was doing in Shin'ou. (He doesn't that kind of free time [to stay awhile] and there are lots he has to do, he says.) Did he go back to Pallet just to see Ash? LoL. I think Kasumi (Misty) welcomed him home the last time he went back...is there a connection here (rival or otherwise)?!
Either that, or Shigeru is thinking "damn, I was used as a plot device again" right then.
Then Ash decides to run off to Shin'ou the next day after Gary <3 (is not seriously being a shipper here, guys.)
Seem like he'll manage to get Brock to cook/clean/care for his Pokemon for him again next series, too. I kinda want to see that now. If just for the Shigeru-love.
Anyway. Wow. Another loong post, though it's the opposite of last post, haha.
I already knew about Haruka (May) in AG. Well, I think she's the female character in...Crystal? Anyway, after seeing Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl's preview, it seems that Satoshi is meeting more and more feminine girls, haha.
My first point of interest: the Rockets seemed to have developed a tolerance against electricity. How can they not, after being shocked out of screen in half of the episodes?
Okay, fine. I admit that the only reason I downloaded this episode after seeing the previous one (which was downloaded out of curiosity) was because of Shigeru (Gary) (Insert slight fangirling here). I'm rather suprised by his rather soft voice though. Perhaps I'm just used to the horrid American dub one. Actually, most voices are done by female voice actors (incl Satoshi (Ash) and Shigeru)...But the point of this screenshot is their height. Though their height don't seem to be any different than say, the very beginning of Pokemon, they look relatively normal, right?!
So why do Shige+Sato still look like shrimps next to the adults?! Do they not AGE? I mean, really, after four-hundred-and-sixty odd episodes and travelling four to 5 countries, it can't just have been a year or something, right?! There are more episodes than days in a year! WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK NOT A DAY OVER 10?! Do they have some sort of dwarf gene or delayed growth spurt gene or something in them? Satoshi's mom x drawf = OTP?! Or, Prof. Oak x dwarf = OTP??!?!?! (is rather disturbed)
(Thinks about Gary's lack of parents, Gary and Hanako's hair color, Gary & Ash's dwarfness, their age, their "rivalry"...and arrives at something eerily similar to Korean drama plot)
But, aw, how cute, Gary goes back to town (refusing to battle with Ash with the excuse that his pokemon (previous screen shot) ran out of energy after shocking the Rockets) to tell everyone Ash's comming back so they can suprise him. (slash gears turns) Wait, but he already called ahead, so he's really trying to welcome him before everybody else!
Furthermore, he comes back to Pallet,
pwns Ash with his shiny new Pokemon,
tells him about being humble and the big, big world (of Pokemon) out there,
...and goes back to whatever he was doing in Shin'ou. (He doesn't that kind of free time [to stay awhile] and there are lots he has to do, he says.) Did he go back to Pallet just to see Ash? LoL. I think Kasumi (Misty) welcomed him home the last time he went back...is there a connection here (rival or otherwise)?!
Either that, or Shigeru is thinking "damn, I was used as a plot device again" right then.
Then Ash decides to run off to Shin'ou the next day after Gary <3 (is not seriously being a shipper here, guys.)
Seem like he'll manage to get Brock to cook/clean/care for his Pokemon for him again next series, too. I kinda want to see that now. If just for the Shigeru-love.
Anyway. Wow. Another loong post, though it's the opposite of last post, haha.
15 September 2006
Torn
When I began this blog 3 years ago (has it really been three years?), I didn't want it to be a xanga-typed 'look guys, I'm so important that you'd want to know every little thing I did today' journal. I thought it was silly and ego-centric. Too many censors that kept me from knowing what's really going on in their minds. I didn't like reading those "superficial" posts, and strived to steer away from that.
I wanted some place where I can let some steam off. Some place where I can express myself to my content. Some place to record my thoughts. Some place to let others decide whether they are interested in what I have to say. Some place to open myself as if I would to a...I don't know. A place to throw my image and face and whatever I've built around myself away for a bit. It worked, for a while.
Without even going back on the entries, I know I've shed some of that "I-must-not-show-weaknesses" layer, if only just a bit. Perhaps whether I made myself open up or not made no difference in these three years (afterall, I did became more involved with other activities and grew more comfortable to this setting with these people), but the growth is there, as minimal as it may be.
I still dislike being "not good enough", "not better", and "faulty." It still plagues me. But I've stopped mentioning it and other darker stuff that I used to expose. I stopped writing when I really should. Censored.
Perhaps I felt I exposed myself too much and too little. Perhaps I felt my thoughts worry others.
But me just having a fine, fine life was—is—definately not the case.
I can blame it on the comments thing. I realized, whether I want to or not, I care what these readers feel after the post. I don't want them to think I'm inbalanced, chronically depressed, perpetually unhappy, or that I need cuddling. Becoming aware of these readers...scared me. I don't want them (you) to see me at my worst, at my ugliest. I don't want them (you) to see how selfish, how disgusting, how queer, how...imperfect I am.
I laugh and make fun of my own faults, but it's a strike to myself every time I do it. I hated every time I see myself being ugly.
Nonetheless, I am grateful for the comments. They make me feel just a little more important.
I have a frighteningly low self-esteem.
I am afraid, deathly afraid, of being forgotten.
I wanted to fix this.
I still want to fix this.
I thought this writing would help.
I still think this writing can help. A little.
I don't know what else I can do.
I don't know how else I can stop using the word "I" and stop being so selfish and ego-centric and disgusting.
I'm fucking pathetic.
...
...
...
I know this is treated like a keep-in-touch blog. Even I'm treating it like so now. Things that I want people to know, things that I think are interesting go into these posts. I still refuse to detail my life in this, but that's only because I'm easily bored by having to repeat my day all over. Just a matter of taste, I guess.
And this is the way it should remain.
But too much I leave unsaid. So I will dump the darkstuffs somewhere else. I can't bring myself to not let anyone read it, nor, I've realized, should I force them to choke on the poison I threw up. Not out. Just up. For the same reason I can't bring myself to disable comments. I made the decision to let it out. They (you) have the right/choice to respond. I like the silence just as I like the attention.
Things will change a bit. In the future.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I wanted some place where I can let some steam off. Some place where I can express myself to my content. Some place to record my thoughts. Some place to let others decide whether they are interested in what I have to say. Some place to open myself as if I would to a...I don't know. A place to throw my image and face and whatever I've built around myself away for a bit. It worked, for a while.
Without even going back on the entries, I know I've shed some of that "I-must-not-show-weaknesses" layer, if only just a bit. Perhaps whether I made myself open up or not made no difference in these three years (afterall, I did became more involved with other activities and grew more comfortable to this setting with these people), but the growth is there, as minimal as it may be.
I still dislike being "not good enough", "not better", and "faulty." It still plagues me. But I've stopped mentioning it and other darker stuff that I used to expose. I stopped writing when I really should. Censored.
Perhaps I felt I exposed myself too much and too little. Perhaps I felt my thoughts worry others.
But me just having a fine, fine life was—is—definately not the case.
I can blame it on the comments thing. I realized, whether I want to or not, I care what these readers feel after the post. I don't want them to think I'm inbalanced, chronically depressed, perpetually unhappy, or that I need cuddling. Becoming aware of these readers...scared me. I don't want them (you) to see me at my worst, at my ugliest. I don't want them (you) to see how selfish, how disgusting, how queer, how...imperfect I am.
I laugh and make fun of my own faults, but it's a strike to myself every time I do it. I hated every time I see myself being ugly.
Nonetheless, I am grateful for the comments. They make me feel just a little more important.
I have a frighteningly low self-esteem.
I am afraid, deathly afraid, of being forgotten.
I wanted to fix this.
I still want to fix this.
I thought this writing would help.
I still think this writing can help. A little.
I don't know what else I can do.
I don't know how else I can stop using the word "I" and stop being so selfish and ego-centric and disgusting.
I'm fucking pathetic.
...
...
...
I know this is treated like a keep-in-touch blog. Even I'm treating it like so now. Things that I want people to know, things that I think are interesting go into these posts. I still refuse to detail my life in this, but that's only because I'm easily bored by having to repeat my day all over. Just a matter of taste, I guess.
And this is the way it should remain.
But too much I leave unsaid. So I will dump the darkstuffs somewhere else. I can't bring myself to not let anyone read it, nor, I've realized, should I force them to choke on the poison I threw up. Not out. Just up. For the same reason I can't bring myself to disable comments. I made the decision to let it out. They (you) have the right/choice to respond. I like the silence just as I like the attention.
Things will change a bit. In the future.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
14 September 2006
07 September 2006
05 September 2006
In The Library
Went to 6th period, then to Q-cup, then to Robotics with Amy.
Amy went to work and I followed along. After an hour of dA-checking (still have 800+ to go through ;_;), here I still am.
So here I ponder. I really should not continue my 3-plus-month brain dead "vacation" period and work on some projects I have meant to complete since...a long time ago. Possibly since summer last year, at least.
The gift for Ward is done. Now I just have to finish Faustine's. The concept/design is there, but the pictures are not satisfactory yet. I haven't started on the frame yet, either. Perhaps I should leave now and, perhaps, I can catch the last bit of sunlight and take more photos. Though, it's 18:00 now...no, the sunlight is past the Cayota (??? What was is called?) grove anyway.
This blog layout is messed up. The menu is crap. I'm not about to fix it even though I know how to now. I wonder if we'd actually get together and go 'teach' a Japanese lesson like Kat and Amy and Shibamiya said. Would be nice if we did. Oh, must come up with several Robotics sweatshirt design before Thursday, too...
Amy's right. My mentality still hasn't graduated yet.
Amy went to work and I followed along. After an hour of dA-checking (still have 800+ to go through ;_;), here I still am.
So here I ponder. I really should not continue my 3-plus-month brain dead "vacation" period and work on some projects I have meant to complete since...a long time ago. Possibly since summer last year, at least.
The gift for Ward is done. Now I just have to finish Faustine's. The concept/design is there, but the pictures are not satisfactory yet. I haven't started on the frame yet, either. Perhaps I should leave now and, perhaps, I can catch the last bit of sunlight and take more photos. Though, it's 18:00 now...no, the sunlight is past the Cayota (??? What was is called?) grove anyway.
This blog layout is messed up. The menu is crap. I'm not about to fix it even though I know how to now. I wonder if we'd actually get together and go 'teach' a Japanese lesson like Kat and Amy and Shibamiya said. Would be nice if we did. Oh, must come up with several Robotics sweatshirt design before Thursday, too...
Amy's right. My mentality still hasn't graduated yet.
28 August 2006
It is time.
It is time to change layout, seriously.
Perhaps it's time to expand into LJ too.
(LJ works with openID)
Perhaps it's time to expand into LJ too.
(LJ works with openID)
24 August 2006
Housing...finally!
■ Why is 205 smaller than the other rooms?! 203 should be subjected to the same fate as 205!!!!!one11
...(hits herself)
Anyway, Amy~ Yorushiku onegai ne~!
...
...
...!
...(hits herself)
Anyway, Amy~ Yorushiku onegai ne~!
...
...
...!
Housing...still!
Finall I can look at the info....?
"The Student Housing system is currently experiencing a heavy amount of traffic. Please try again later. "
...(emits murderous intent)
"The Student Housing system is currently experiencing a heavy amount of traffic. Please try again later. "
...(emits murderous intent)
Hosing again
"The Student Housing Channel is experiencing intermittent outages. We are working on the problem. Please try back later. Thank you for your patience. "
...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A bit of astronomy newsstuff...? + Zoids
■ Farewell, Pluto: BLOG: SciAm Observations
Background-ish stuff?
■ And Then There Were Twelve: BLOG: SciAm Observations
Article from the Washington Post:
■ Pluto Is No Longer a Planet, Astronomers Say
Anyway, heard it through the Chinese radio noon news section and saw link in the SciAm RSS. It seems kinda strange to kill off Pluto now oO; Hrm.
On another note...I wouldn't know if toonami's showing Zoids/Zero again (since I haven't watched much TV since 1-2 years ago and no longer have RCN after we cut off their internet service), but watching a random, unsubbed episode of Zoids Genesis piped my interest again.
First was Zoids/Shinseki Zero on Toonami, then I got excited about Zoids Chaotic Century (which is the series before Zero, actually). Don't remember if I saw the whole series but prob'ly saw the end. Toonami mushed it up with Guardian Force (CC's sequel) anyway. I'm pretty sure I saw some of that too, but must have skipped out on the middle bit. (only remembers squabbling over the Raven bits and laughing over Thomas Richard Schubaltz...poor guy, really. I'd totally ship Schubaltz/Fiona if only out of pity for him XD) I was a PTSD Raven fangirl for a while after the series ended too. I prefered Shadow and the Geno Breaker (Raven's) over Zeke and the Blade Liger anyway...ANYWAY, I remember bits about the end to GF and whining about how Raven is not actually dead, so I must have watched it.
After a long while I discovered Zoids Fuzors on some Azn channel (that's what they were actually called;;;;) on saturday, but it looked kinda boring, so I didn't hunt down its schedule or watch it again. And a few days ago a raw Zoids Genesis episode caught my eye. Decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. Didn't like it because it was super different from CC/GF/Zero and looks much cornier because they all look like 8-yr-olds going into war. Like the dragonball series, all the power-ups/modifications just got ridiculous, with the 'BioZoids' and different time-limited modes (reminded me of KH2)...so the Zoids/Zero fangirl resurfaced.
Wikipedia is lovely in helping me with taming the maniac(otaku) from within, btw.
Oops. Ranted.
Btw, noticed the new dictionary.com look.
Background-ish stuff?
■ And Then There Were Twelve: BLOG: SciAm Observations
Article from the Washington Post:
■ Pluto Is No Longer a Planet, Astronomers Say
Anyway, heard it through the Chinese radio noon news section and saw link in the SciAm RSS. It seems kinda strange to kill off Pluto now oO; Hrm.
On another note...I wouldn't know if toonami's showing Zoids/Zero again (since I haven't watched much TV since 1-2 years ago and no longer have RCN after we cut off their internet service), but watching a random, unsubbed episode of Zoids Genesis piped my interest again.
After a long while I discovered Zoids Fuzors on some Azn channel (that's what they were actually called;;;;) on saturday, but it looked kinda boring, so I didn't hunt down its schedule or watch it again. And a few days ago a raw Zoids Genesis episode caught my eye. Decided it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. Didn't like it because it was super different from CC/GF/Zero and looks much cornier because they all look like 8-yr-olds going into war. Like the dragonball series, all the power-ups/modifications just got ridiculous, with the 'BioZoids' and different time-limited modes (reminded me of KH2)...so the Zoids/Zero fangirl resurfaced.
Wikipedia is lovely in helping me with taming the maniac(otaku) from within, btw.
Oops. Ranted.
Btw, noticed the new dictionary.com look.
23 August 2006
UC Davis - Student Housing
UC Davis - Student Housing: "Dear Housing Resident,
Your room assignment is being processed. Final room assignments will be available by Thursday August 24 at 12:00 noon PST. Thank you for your patience.
UC Davis Student Housing"
...twitch.
Your room assignment is being processed. Final room assignments will be available by Thursday August 24 at 12:00 noon PST. Thank you for your patience.
UC Davis Student Housing"
...twitch.
22 August 2006
Housing
They mailed me and said my room assignment is complete.
But there is no link to click on as instructed.
They LIE!
Or worse, I really didn't get an assignment(!!) and they're just mail the same package to everyone(!!!).
;______________;
(Edit: Amy had the same...discontent...ment?:[__on a quest for sleep...__] - Articles -- you know I don't follow the news
Fine, their system is probably not updated yet. But I figured I've been silent way too long...so why not whine a bit? So many things have happened...still not sure if I can recall it without tearing up =\
But there is no link to click on as instructed.
They LIE!
Or worse, I really didn't get an assignment(!!) and they're just mail the same package to everyone(!!!).
;______________;
(Edit: Amy had the same...discontent...ment?:[__on a quest for sleep...__] - Articles -- you know I don't follow the news
Fine, their system is probably not updated yet. But I figured I've been silent way too long...so why not whine a bit? So many things have happened...still not sure if I can recall it without tearing up =\
08 August 2006
Death Note, D.Gray-man
Oh Boy. I'm rereading these two series and have decided that: 1) I really wouldn't mind owning them in Japanese; 2) I want Blanc et Noir; 3) I can't wait for the anime for these to come out; and 4) I want to see Death Note the movie and Death Note the Last name. `ω`
Kya~
This is probably posted because I still can't write about this more sinister thing in me. It's eating and suffocating me.
Kya~
This is probably posted because I still can't write about this more sinister thing in me. It's eating and suffocating me.
05 August 2006
Oh! The indescribable joy of getting internet back!
Father forgot to pay the internet bill -> no internet since I got driven to L.A. and back (little content involved) -> decides to change provider -> had to wait for them to install the phone line (for DSL, comming Tuesday) -> got cable internet back (finally paid)!
Ah, I'm still wallowing in that lovely, warm, full feeling in my heart...?
Maybe it's just the scone I had for brunch, but whatever.
Ah, I'm still wallowing in that lovely, warm, full feeling in my heart...?
Maybe it's just the scone I had for brunch, but whatever.
22 July 2006
Europe!
Anonymous wrote:
so when are u heading for Europe and when are u coming back?
I DON"T KNOW. This whole thing has been strangely stressing. First I slacked and didn't do much trip planning. Then after Mother and I finally looked everything up (hotels, tickets, etc) and asked Father to book, he decides that we should join a tour. He took at least two weeks to find a tour, but another two week had already passed and he had done nothing since. nobody could get him to just book the frigging tour. I confronted him and either got some vague uncertanties about the trip or just outright avoidance.
roaho;f vaorwot aw otga;hiog o;awrouwgtho; rwr!!!
I don't know why this had been so difficult to plan. I want to cry.
Though I already did, if just to get Father to get a 'ok' on his part.
Hate it.
oasefji; ga;oh o;awr 8vgjkdn.wh anawruoghswo;haw;rhagghlsauaghwraygbfaklgtd.
so when are u heading for Europe and when are u coming back?
I DON"T KNOW. This whole thing has been strangely stressing. First I slacked and didn't do much trip planning. Then after Mother and I finally looked everything up (hotels, tickets, etc) and asked Father to book, he decides that we should join a tour. He took at least two weeks to find a tour, but another two week had already passed and he had done nothing since. nobody could get him to just book the frigging tour. I confronted him and either got some vague uncertanties about the trip or just outright avoidance.
roaho;f vaorwot aw otga;hiog o;awrouwgtho; rwr!!!
I don't know why this had been so difficult to plan. I want to cry.
Though I already did, if just to get Father to get a 'ok' on his part.
Hate it.
oasefji; ga;oh o;awr 8vgjkdn.wh anawruoghswo;haw;rhagghlsauaghwraygbfaklgtd.
14 July 2006
o__O
Mother was serious about making me take swimming lessons when Father mentioned them over dinner.
°_______°
°_______°
TheHarryPotterQuiz.com
TheHarryPotterQuiz.com
As Colin, you are lively, friendly and inquisitive! Just make sure you don't get in people's way too much.
As Malfoy, you are rude, confident, cocky and like to have your way. You gain respect in the wrong places for your vindictiveness and malice.
As Fudge, the Minister of Magic, you are persuasive, confident and intelligent, yet often value beauracracy over pragmatism. Your leadership skills will help you move upwards in life.
MUAHAHAHA, ph34r the Slytherin Creevy! I will aquire blackmail material from every one of my schoolmatesand harass Draco and Harry into photoshoots using my trusty camera to make millions!
Though, by tempering with some variations, I also have gotten Potter(Griffindor), Fleur(Ravenclaw), and Voldy (Slytherin).
Guess I just don't have a very Harry-universe kind of personality, seeing that I never once score above 55%...meh, whatever.
As Colin, you are lively, friendly and inquisitive! Just make sure you don't get in people's way too much.
As Malfoy, you are rude, confident, cocky and like to have your way. You gain respect in the wrong places for your vindictiveness and malice.
As Fudge, the Minister of Magic, you are persuasive, confident and intelligent, yet often value beauracracy over pragmatism. Your leadership skills will help you move upwards in life.
MUAHAHAHA, ph34r the Slytherin Creevy! I will aquire blackmail material from every one of my schoolmates
Though, by tempering with some variations, I also have gotten Potter(Griffindor), Fleur(Ravenclaw), and Voldy (Slytherin).
Guess I just don't have a very Harry-universe kind of personality, seeing that I never once score above 55%...meh, whatever.
09 July 2006
SI.com - 2006 World Cup - Zidane sent off for headbutt in farewell match - Sunday July 9, 2006 5:00PM
SI.com - 2006 World Cup - Zidane sent off for headbutt in farewell match - Sunday July 9, 2006 5:00PM: "Five years ago, Zidane was red-carded for headbutting Hamburger SV's Jochen Kientz in a Champions League match while with Juventus. But a year later, his volley gave Real Madrid its ninth European title."
Other Snippets
From The Advertiser: "Zinedine Zidane, who put France ahead with a penalty in the seventh minute, was not among the penalty takers after being sent off in the 110th minute, given a straight red card for headbutting Marco Materazzi after the Italy centre-back said something that riled the Frenchman."
From Bloomberg.com: "Zidane's career came to an end when the referee dismissed him five minutes into the second period of extra time. France coach Raymond Domenech applauded him off the field and his teammates declined to take the captain's armband from him."
More FIFA World Cup Final news
Oh Zidane, what were you thinking?
Other Snippets
From The Advertiser: "Zinedine Zidane, who put France ahead with a penalty in the seventh minute, was not among the penalty takers after being sent off in the 110th minute, given a straight red card for headbutting Marco Materazzi after the Italy centre-back said something that riled the Frenchman."
From Bloomberg.com: "Zidane's career came to an end when the referee dismissed him five minutes into the second period of extra time. France coach Raymond Domenech applauded him off the field and his teammates declined to take the captain's armband from him."
More FIFA World Cup Final news
Oh Zidane, what were you thinking?
28 June 2006
Screams
A women, voice breaking from terror, screamed in the otherwise silent night. She sounded like she was sobbing pleads...or crys of help for her mother.
Several men, their curses blending into a jumble of angry syllables, rang loudly, more so than the lone women's voice. They were angry at something...someone.
Bitch!
An unrulely teenager, forgetting time (once again)from playing Ragnarok Online, froze in front of her computer next to the window, fear growing as she listened to the women scream and sob perhaps not even half a block away. Her character died, unnoticed. She thought about not doing anything about it; afterall, someone must had to have called the police or something, right?
The sounds began to quiet a little.
But what if nobody did anything? Psychology, afterall, had taught her the danger of "diffusion of responsibility" within a group or a community.
The voices calmed a little more.
She went into her parents' room and woke her father up, relayed what happened, waited while the father dressed, and they opened the front door.
The group of voices, still talking loudly (the women's voice have disappeared sometime after the teenager decided to wake her father), passed by the family's gate. Under the cover of a long, unlit driveway and an unlit living room, the father watched the group pass by. There was a child in the group. The daughter dared not to look out; she was still absorbing the fear and terror the last 10 minute caused.
Then one, two, three, four police cars drove past their gate.
The mother, woken up by the bedroom light, joined the father, but soon went back to sleep. The father walked out and to the open gate, silently closing them, and saw the whole group detained by police officers a few houses down.
Two more police cars arrived for backup.
Keeping the motion-sensing outdoor lights on, the daughter, a little less frightened and a little more curious, watched the father walk back, learning the initial screams that alarmed her woke the surrounding neighbors up.
Were they trying to silence her? Or did a fight broke out? Or...?
It's been one hour since I heard the screams.
Several men, their curses blending into a jumble of angry syllables, rang loudly, more so than the lone women's voice. They were angry at something...someone.
Bitch!
An unrulely teenager, forgetting time (once again)from playing Ragnarok Online, froze in front of her computer next to the window, fear growing as she listened to the women scream and sob perhaps not even half a block away. Her character died, unnoticed. She thought about not doing anything about it; afterall, someone must had to have called the police or something, right?
The sounds began to quiet a little.
But what if nobody did anything? Psychology, afterall, had taught her the danger of "diffusion of responsibility" within a group or a community.
The voices calmed a little more.
She went into her parents' room and woke her father up, relayed what happened, waited while the father dressed, and they opened the front door.
The group of voices, still talking loudly (the women's voice have disappeared sometime after the teenager decided to wake her father), passed by the family's gate. Under the cover of a long, unlit driveway and an unlit living room, the father watched the group pass by. There was a child in the group. The daughter dared not to look out; she was still absorbing the fear and terror the last 10 minute caused.
Then one, two, three, four police cars drove past their gate.
The mother, woken up by the bedroom light, joined the father, but soon went back to sleep. The father walked out and to the open gate, silently closing them, and saw the whole group detained by police officers a few houses down.
Two more police cars arrived for backup.
Keeping the motion-sensing outdoor lights on, the daughter, a little less frightened and a little more curious, watched the father walk back, learning the initial screams that alarmed her woke the surrounding neighbors up.
Were they trying to silence her? Or did a fight broke out? Or...?
It's been one hour since I heard the screams.
19 May 2006
07 May 2006
A*!!!!!oneeleven111!!
YOSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Kick the can - Heavy - 221 perfect 92 great!
(yesterday)
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeE
On another note:
Finally dropped ~40% of my black protein. I like it short and light. W00t. So much hair on the floor afterwards though...°_____°;
Kick the can - Heavy - 221 perfect 92 great!
(yesterday)
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeE
On another note:
Finally dropped ~40% of my black protein. I like it short and light. W00t. So much hair on the floor afterwards though...°_____°;
Lee: Connection not content-wise. But it IS a pprkut...LoL...(on a happy mood from less head-weight.)
He-who-must-not-be-named: Gackt would come before him, damnit.
He-who-must-not-be-named: Gackt would come before him, damnit.
06 May 2006
Blood, Money, & Paper
Blood: Sliced my finger open right underneath my left index finger nail with paper.
Money: Opened a checking, online banking, and applied for a credit card.
Paper: Bought a NatGeo (The Judas Gospel) for hopefully more details than the Science of the Bible episode and a Times (the 100 most influential people). Rain is one of the most influential. Wow. Death to the two MySpace people, though (not worth naming).
Money: Opened a checking, online banking, and applied for a credit card.
Paper: Bought a NatGeo (The Judas Gospel) for hopefully more details than the Science of the Bible episode and a Times (the 100 most influential people). Rain is one of the most influential. Wow. Death to the two MySpace people, though (not worth naming).
01 May 2006
30 April 2006
23 April 2006
18 April 2006
Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero?
Latin Phrases, Latin Quotes, Latin Mottos and Latin Maxims
"I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German-born American Physicist
Bleed
I feel like curling up and bleed myself to sleep.
Hmm...came out more morbid than I thought. Eh, close enough.
Hmm...came out more morbid than I thought. Eh, close enough.
17 April 2006
CONTAGION
I have contracted...
Find out what you've contracted!
I wonder about my other one...something about biting heads off?
 | Saturday Night Fever | ...This gruesome disorder is marked by a tendency to shake it to disco. |
Find out what you've contracted!
I wonder about my other one...something about biting heads off?
Pattern Recognition - what.
Pattern Recognition - what.: "I hate Snape, Lucius and Voldemort; I don't think either of them is 'cool' in any way whatsoever. Snape is a greasy, unpleasant man with a ten-year-old boy's grudge and questionable loyalties; he makes Harry's life miserable and while I was willing to cut him some slack before HBP, I'm not anymore. Lucius appears to have raised a child who, albeit spoiled and bratty, possesses a functioning conscience, but other than that I have no use for Lucius; I think he's a toadying slimeball. And while I sympathise with poor Volders for apparently having been born irredeemably evil (*eyeroll*), he is a murderer and a psychopath not in theory alone; he's killed people without remorse.
...
You don't have the right to claim that your way of interpreting is saner than the next guy's unless the next guy's arguments are based on pies in the sky instead of logic."
furiosity. Writes some of the scariest, coolest things and is just one of those who deserves to be worshipped.
...
You don't have the right to claim that your way of interpreting is saner than the next guy's unless the next guy's arguments are based on pies in the sky instead of logic."
furiosity. Writes some of the scariest, coolest things and is just one of those who deserves to be worshipped.
16 April 2006
13 April 2006
Dresses, Skirts, and Other Things That Relate to That Annoying Event Called Prom
I regret agreeing to going to Prom with Jiro. No, Jiro's not the problem. It wasn't even he who asked!
No, having a date is the problem.
Not only must I hunt for a dress (early, so he'll know color/style/blah blah blah), I must wear a dress because something different (i.e. 2 pieces, suit, dress shirt, etc etc) would be a little strange. Actually, only the suit would be weird. I would've managed separate top & bottom. Wearing formal pants with a dress shirt top would've been great. Now I'm bound to the norm. (sigh)
But I digress.
So now, after a whole day for rummaging TJMax, Ross, Marshalls, Nicole's, and practially all stores in Tanforan (located in San Bruno), I will look like a champagne-colored fish at Prom. Okay. Maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but that's really the best way to describe my dress. Not in a bad way, of course, seeing that Amy & I have been fish-themed all year. I don't really like it, but it's the best thing on me thus far.
This dress-shopping does bad things to my self-image, self-confidence, and other self-things that I might've lowered.
The good thing, though, is that I found a super-cute, camouflage/lace long skirt and a black lace shirt (not unlike the one Kat bought on Sat). I want to wear it sooooon~ X3 Haha, I think that trip on Saturday corrupted me into more of a girl.
Shopping with Mother is getting a bit tiresome. She was thinking about putting me in some old/happy nice girl/her generation things on me. Casualwear with her is fine, but there were some grating between us today. (Then there's the issue with jeans...trying to find NOT somewhat well-worn looking ones...(sigh))
Tired. Not used to using so much energy after getting 10+ hours of sleep every day since beginning of spring break. Should really pay Amy a visit because I need to.
■ Gorgeous (inexpensive option not available) jackets and things!
■ I love floofy
No, having a date is the problem.
Not only must I hunt for a dress (early, so he'll know color/style/blah blah blah), I must wear a dress because something different (i.e. 2 pieces, suit, dress shirt, etc etc) would be a little strange. Actually, only the suit would be weird. I would've managed separate top & bottom. Wearing formal pants with a dress shirt top would've been great. Now I'm bound to the norm. (sigh)
But I digress.
So now, after a whole day for rummaging TJMax, Ross, Marshalls, Nicole's, and practially all stores in Tanforan (located in San Bruno), I will look like a champagne-colored fish at Prom. Okay. Maybe that's exaggerating a bit, but that's really the best way to describe my dress. Not in a bad way, of course, seeing that Amy & I have been fish-themed all year. I don't really like it, but it's the best thing on me thus far.
This dress-shopping does bad things to my self-image, self-confidence, and other self-things that I might've lowered.
The good thing, though, is that I found a super-cute, camouflage/lace long skirt and a black lace shirt (not unlike the one Kat bought on Sat). I want to wear it sooooon~ X3 Haha, I think that trip on Saturday corrupted me into more of a girl.
Shopping with Mother is getting a bit tiresome. She was thinking about putting me in some old/happy nice girl/her generation things on me. Casualwear with her is fine, but there were some grating between us today. (Then there's the issue with jeans...trying to find NOT somewhat well-worn looking ones...(sigh))
Tired. Not used to using so much energy after getting 10+ hours of sleep every day since beginning of spring break. Should really pay Amy a visit because I need to.
■ Gorgeous (inexpensive option not available) jackets and things!
■ I love floofy
Yay! Neither Jiro nor I know about events surrounding Prom!
And I just realized I reallycan't shouldn't get more girly than this: I spent the whole post, after months of not really posting, talking about clothes. Oh dear.
And I just realized I really
05 April 2006
28 March 2006
Bad Sirius Joke -_-;;
FanFiction.Net : The Anti Angst Movement: "'You're black.'
'I am Black.'
'Are you serious?'
'I am Sirius.'
'Seriously?'
'Yes, Sirius Lee.'
'Are you seriously black??'
'Yes, I am Sirius Lee Black.'
'...Seriously?'
'YES, DAMNIT! I AM SIRIUS LEE BLACK! WHAT DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT THIS?!'
'Wow... you really are serious.'
'I hate you.'
'That's a little harsh. Seriously.'
'GAH!'"
'I am Black.'
'Are you serious?'
'I am Sirius.'
'Seriously?'
'Yes, Sirius Lee.'
'Are you seriously black??'
'Yes, I am Sirius Lee Black.'
'...Seriously?'
'YES, DAMNIT! I AM SIRIUS LEE BLACK! WHAT DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT THIS?!'
'Wow... you really are serious.'
'I hate you.'
'That's a little harsh. Seriously.'
'GAH!'"
27 March 2006
Yearbook Pukes.
Honestly. Don't say I can do whatever and then tell me "we don't do your yearbooks this way" and only give me a vague "we don't want collages" when I ask, not for the first time, a sample page.
I understand that the second page looks incredibly cramped, but a sample page really wouldn't work. It's not as if I'll go blathering out to everybody how one of their pages will look. Oh yes. That would completely ruin the suprise, wouldn't it.
Hello? You're OUTSOURCING the page! If you want the Robotics page to be SOMEWHAT similar to your OTHER pages, either tell me the DETAILS and RESTRICTIONS or give me a TEMPLATE to work off of!
Psh. It's not as if their YB staff page is all that impressive.
Since I'm already on a YB bash...the YB people eat the food and dirty the couch newspaper people pay for. It's rather sad that YB & news can't coexist, but I guess the two groups are just different fundamentally. It doesn't seem to be as bad as 3 years ago, as I've heard, but still, as much as I didn't start with a dislike towards YB...the feeling is beginning to bubble up. A bit irratating.
I understand that the second page looks incredibly cramped, but a sample page really wouldn't work. It's not as if I'll go blathering out to everybody how one of their pages will look. Oh yes. That would completely ruin the suprise, wouldn't it.
Hello? You're OUTSOURCING the page! If you want the Robotics page to be SOMEWHAT similar to your OTHER pages, either tell me the DETAILS and RESTRICTIONS or give me a TEMPLATE to work off of!
Psh. It's not as if their YB staff page is all that impressive.
Since I'm already on a YB bash...the YB people eat the food and dirty the couch newspaper people pay for. It's rather sad that YB & news can't coexist, but I guess the two groups are just different fundamentally. It doesn't seem to be as bad as 3 years ago, as I've heard, but still, as much as I didn't start with a dislike towards YB...the feeling is beginning to bubble up. A bit irratating.
24 March 2006
FINALLY!
YAAAAAAAY! I finally beat the 6 Kawarimi no Jutsu requirement and is moving onto the plot in Narutimett Hero 2 (after soooooooooo long!)
12 March 2006
09 March 2006
06 March 2006
Nothing Better
There's nothing better than an hour of exhausting DDR on a rainy day. It's a weekday, and I have homework, but hopefully this will help me focus (so far I'm still "recuperating"). I've been lethargic lately, not doing homework or newspaper or robotics buttons or scholarships, or anything. Using "I'm tired" as an excuse has become a bad habit of mine.
I feel less fat and more accomplished already =)
I feel less fat and more accomplished already =)
02 March 2006
After Reading Some of JKR's Interviews...
I find it unsettling that an author should hate some of her characters. It's one thing to write an unlikable character, but another to not appreciate that character at all. The author, of all people, should appreciate his/her characters because he/she knows them best.
28 February 2006
Shit Rants Again
There are times where I wish they would just scream and yell at me rather than at each other. It would make me much more comfortable knowing that there won't be a pernament rift after arguments. Granted, they don't do it often, but I fear it every time they do this.
Can't they see? Stop blaming each other? Can't they see that all three of us are so similar that way? They ask why I slack until the last minute. Well, here's their answer.
Can't they see? Stop blaming each other? Can't they see that all three of us are so similar that way? They ask why I slack until the last minute. Well, here's their answer.
26 February 2006
Guttural Growl
PcBY: (thinks) Yay! Finally got all the logos vectorized, everything placed on a .jpg, and all files ready to go!
PcBY: (checks sponsor list over just in case)
PcBY: (eyes rivulets to CIM3)
PcBY: F---D---ARGH!
PcBY: (mutters and searches for image) (finds that it was NEVER on the t-shirt before)
PcBY: (twitch)
afterthought: fanfictions give me such a wide range of vulgar words...>_>;;
PcBY: (checks sponsor list over just in case)
PcBY: (eyes rivulets to CIM3)
PcBY: F---D---ARGH!
PcBY: (mutters and searches for image) (finds that it was NEVER on the t-shirt before)
PcBY: (twitch)
afterthought: fanfictions give me such a wide range of vulgar words...>_>;;
23 February 2006
Psychology Today: What's Your Soundtrack?
Psychology Today: What's Your Soundtrack?: "Your taste in music can reveal a lot about you, giving accurate clues to your personality. "
heh.
heh.
17 February 2006
The Fucking Social Retard.
“He wondered how he could not look as disappointed as he felt. He wanted to go. Truthfully, it would have been nice. He could easily not attend the dinner, he knew he would do well at the recital and all the other assignments, council and class related, could wait until Sunday. He sighed inwardly, it was too late now, he thought.”
...
“'...Maybe it was you that kept them at a distance…that kept them away from your apartment. Maybe you were the one to wave good bye so quickly once you’d crossed the lines of the basketball court and the school gates.'”
“'...Maybe it was I who kept them at a distance, ignoring their invitations and using my council meetings as an excuse. Maybe I was the one to dismiss it too quickly when someone got too close.'”
“Maybe it was just us all along that kept them at arms length.”
—Spiral Falling by Becca Amon
I hate myself. I'm such a social retard. Robotics today paralled this scene so well it makes me an even bigger loser.
15 February 2006
04 February 2006
Boondocks the cartoon
Wow. Bad AfrAm accents is what I get after months of not watching adult swim.
In anime-ish style. Oh, dearie.
In anime-ish style. Oh, dearie.
24 January 2006
07 January 2006
DONE! (Well, Sort of Kind of Not At All)
at 05:05, TWO hours before the kickoff, I got the new aragonrobotics.org website up. Granted, less than half of the supposed content is there, but I've transferred most of the old stuff to the new layout.
The fixed position (the frame-like thing) title bar was hell to go through as well as the pop-up bar (stupid IE problems), not to mention the x number of times I had to paste new code in each page because I've add/changed a few things on the menu, layout, or whatnot. Hey, it WORKS, and I know what's wrong with my pop-up on your right now =D (don't intend to fix it though; I'd rather use that time to continue the new layout for this blog =3)
Gyaa—still so much to go~ I didn't do the semi-transparent thing with the moving gear background at all (though I'd really like to) because, again, IE is stupid and can't support semi-transparent .png (it won't let me dangle transparent things either, thus the weirdness on aragonrobotics.org in IE) so I need hacks and stuff that I don't understand...and I have NO CLUE how to start making the moving gear since I've never tried making a moving .gif before...AND there's still much to set up content-wise...Oooh, the pain of adding anchors to each section and each page too...well, time to make use of my minions =)
Gotta remember to put page specs later when I come back...should start washing up (again; I just did that 3 hours ago, haha), dressing up, and checking on my tools of the trade because I'll be going to the kickoff!
The fixed position (the frame-like thing) title bar was hell to go through as well as the pop-up bar (stupid IE problems), not to mention the x number of times I had to paste new code in each page because I've add/changed a few things on the menu, layout, or whatnot. Hey, it WORKS, and I know what's wrong with my pop-up on your right now =D (don't intend to fix it though; I'd rather use that time to continue the new layout for this blog =3)
Gyaa—still so much to go~ I didn't do the semi-transparent thing with the moving gear background at all (though I'd really like to) because, again, IE is stupid and can't support semi-transparent .png (it won't let me dangle transparent things either, thus the weirdness on aragonrobotics.org in IE) so I need hacks and stuff that I don't understand...and I have NO CLUE how to start making the moving gear since I've never tried making a moving .gif before...AND there's still much to set up content-wise...Oooh, the pain of adding anchors to each section and each page too...well, time to make use of my minions =)
Gotta remember to put page specs later when I come back...should start washing up (again; I just did that 3 hours ago, haha), dressing up, and checking on my tools of the trade because I'll be going to the kickoff!
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